I’m sick of waiting.
I was overjoyed to be referred to a BSGE center (Aberdeen) in August as an urgent referral. I’ve been waiting patiently for months. At the start of December I got a letter saying I’d been placed on the colo-rectal general surgery wait list as well due to my symptoms. Thankfully the letter had a telephone number on it so I called. To find out I still have another 40 weeks plus on the gyne wait list….even though I’m on the short notice list.
This means by the time I ever get my first out-patient appointment I’ll have been waiting over a year.
How in the world is anyone expected to wait over a year for a new outpatient appointment.
I’m tired. I don’t know what I’m meant to do anymore. It took 15 years to get a GP to believe me that something was wrong and refer me to a BSGE center as she’s convinced its stage 4 endo given the GI problems, the bleeding from places I should not be bleeding from the crippling back pain I’m now constantly in. I’ve been on the pill since I was 13. I’ve been waiting 15 years already for treatment.
I’m tired of waiting. I’m tired of living every day in pain. I’m tired of having nightmares about waiting a year for an appointment for nothing to happen. I’m just tired of everything and I don’t want to do anything anymore. I’m trying to build up the energy to go to work but I don’t have it anymore.
I don’t know what to do.
I don't even know the point of this I just need...to get this out somewhere because everyone I know is sick of hearing me complain anyway. I think for the first time in all of this I actually feel completely alone.