Frist time having sex with endometriosis will be soon,should i worry of the pain , is it really painful that i may be disabled because of it

[Bdgjdjd]

I haven’t have sex yet

I read horrible story about sex with endometriosis

How can you describe the pain ?

Is there anything i can use that will ease the pain

[luthien]

Ahh, some have said it's horrible, some have said it's okay until after.

I found that I had deep pain during, and spotting after, plus kinda like period cramps the next few days.

The main thing I can suggest is be open with your partner, mention that it could hurt and you're not sure how much, or what sort of pain. Talk through it so you're both relaxed, trust each other; sometimes guys feel they cause the pain so feel guilty, it's about understanding they aren't the cause, endo is the cause. Have a safe word, like a stop word so that if you don't like it or the pain is too much you can stop immediately without you both feeling awkward. If things hurt but you both want to keep going try different positions. Perhaps spend time on getting to know one another first, the foreplay, the being comfortable and relaxed in bed without the actual sex but all the other stuff that can ease tension, relaxing helps our body cope with pain.

If you're worried about pain, perhaps take painkillers an hour before. But it may be an idea to try first if it hurts stop; as taking painkillers before the first time means you won't know how much stuff really hurts or doesn't so you have no basis for comparison and will therefore feel like you always need to take painkillers before, it can become a circle.

Hope all goes okay, relax, be comfortable and talk, sex is about you too so you have to enjoy it aswell xx

[Bdgjdjd in reply to luthien]

Thanks so mush it really helps me ❤️

Do painkillers work for you ?

With deep pain you complete or you stop usually

Does it stop you or you can bear it

I am afraid about the pain because i wanna try to get pregnant so with painful sex that is gonna make it more difficult

[luthien in reply to Bdgjdjd]

I've not tried painkillers during sex as I'd rather be aware if something hurts; if our body is in pain it's a good idea to listen to it.

The pain has stopped me before, but usually I can tell if it's going to get worse just before as there's kind of a dull ache starting before the stabbing deep pains. If it's not to bad and I notice early we change positions or do things not so deep or slower to help.

Some women find the pain is actually lower down and more in the cervix / vagina so sex just hurts, in those cases stopping is the only thing you can do.

Please don't just bear it, as that makes you feel used and undervalued. A careing partner should stop or change something if you're in pain, but you need to say so, most women feel they shouldn't but it's your body and relationships work on listening to each other.

Here's to hoping you're all okay and there's no pain. Just remember relax and work up to sex, it is meant to be an adventure! xx

[Bdgjdjd in reply to luthien]

I may try to bear it because i want to get pregnant I don’t want to waste many cycles

I don’t know how to balance between these thing (ttc and sex pain)

[luthien in reply to Bdgjdjd]

It may be best to work on treating your endo first, before getting pregnant as some women found it gets worse during pregnancy with the hormones and stretching and then after birth it can get worse again, leaving you too ill to juggle looking after a newborn and yourself.

Personally I wouldn't want to risk my health to have a child, knowing I could be too Ill to cope during the key times it needs a mother. I would rather work on getting my endo treated and pain managed before so I am in the best mental an physical condition to cope with pregnancy and looking after a child after birth.

Pregnancy may also not happen the first few times as timing needs to be right near ovulation and number of times around ovulation, some women conceive right away, some women take a few months, some women never do, so just bearing the pain could be worse if it's for months.

Again some women don't have any pain during sex or any symptoms during pregnancy, so you can't really plan your life when you have endo, you just have to take it day by day, then week by week as it can change you and affect you so much.

[Christin_a]

Hello

Not everyone with endo had pain with sex so you may find that its okay. But as farahziya said as your worried best you take it slow and get used to being comfortable and relaxed with each other with foreplay etc. As if your worried you'll naturally tense which is not what you want. But remember to keep open communication so if you're okay uou can let them know and like wise if it's uncomfortable you can try a different position or stop, whatever you need to do.

[Bdgjdjd in reply to Christin_a]

Thanks for your response ❤️🌷

[princessk09]

Hey, I had painful sex and bleeding afterwards and cramps for a few days. However since my lap, I haven’t had sex so I dont know if it’s improved yet.

Everyone is different and you may not have pain, I think it depends on where your endo is as well. Mine was around my ovaries and uterus so that’s why I had deep pain as it was basically putting pressure on them.

Please don’t have sex if it’s painful, tell your partner. I wish I did but I didn’t want to make my ex unhappy and when I did tell him, he didn’t listen and carried on. Xxxx