Endometriosis UK
36,080 members32,050 posts

Is this mad

Ive just got my new lap date through after 1st was cancelled. My inlaws are booked in to stop for 2 nights afterwards for a visit. They are the sort who will expect a spotless house and to be waited on. I've told them Im having a day op the day before, dont feel i can go into detail with them, and am unsure how I will be feeling so may be best if we rearrange them coming. They are insiting on coming and hubby can look after them and take them out etc. What about looking after me. Hubby reckons it will be ok. It wont will it?

7 Replies
oldestnewest

Bit mad yes, can it not be set for another date where you won't be rather sore? Day after ops I find I'm stiff as a board more bruised feeling and really not up for anything part from ice cream and movies.

1 like
Reply

Does your husband understand the severity of the operation? I think his parents are being totally unreasonable and your hubby should back you up. This is major surgery, you're going to be very sore and tired for at least 1 week following surgery. Sod his parents, if they want to come and stay they can support you and help you guys out with housework etc whilst you recover. Also, you might need to stay in hospital over night. I did.

I had complications with my lap and was really unwell afterwards. My boyfriend took a week off work to look after me. His mum did all our washing for 2 weeks and my mum helped out with house work. I'm sure you won't have any complications but you're husband needs to understand how much support you'll need both physically and emotionally.

Get your hubby on side and get the in laws to re-schedule their visit.

Good luck xx

1 like
Reply

No, if they’re not coming to look after you then they should not come. Point out that you can’t be left alone for 48 hours so they either go out without your hubbie or you all stay in. I was told (and so was hubbie) that I wasn’t even to boil and lift the kettle for 48 hours after coming home. You can’t be left in on your own in those circumstances. I know some people do, but it’s not the point.

Your house will probably be spotless anyway as if you’re like me you’d have cleaned it before going for the op as you won’t want to sit and look at dirt. But I couldn’t get downstairs until about 24 hours after coming home from hospital and I only had minor ablation. Perhaps you need to tell them some more details so they understand that, although it’s a day case, it’s not a minor op and you may be kept in overnight if there are complications. Get another date in to give them something to look forward to.

1 like
Reply

Ps the best thing that someone said to me was to remember that the small wounds on the outside are no indication of the amount of work they do inside during a laparoscopy. Just because it’s keyhole doesn’t mean it is small!

Reply

Ta for replies Im hoping that by showing this to hubby may make him say no to his parents for once!

2 likes
Reply

Definitely agree with others- I know I wouldn’t have been up to have visitors over. Also my hubby took a few days off to look after me - and I was so glad he did. All I wanted to do was sleep and rest could not have entertained guests. Postpone the in laws visit it is for the best. Your recovery is more important right now xoxo

Reply

I couldnt walk on my own due to the anesthetic the next day thats no even thinking about the pain so I would say you wont be well enough to deal with them but if your hubby is okay with doing it on his own thats fine as long as someone stays with you for 24hours after 😮

Reply

You may also like...