Lack of support

[K_mis]

Good morning

Just wondering how many of you feel complete and lack of understanding from your significant other and/or family with your endometriosis? How have you approached it or handled it please?

I think part of the problem is I appear 'normal ' on the outside and have always been 'capable'. I have no choice but to work almost full time and I have a young child. However I'm burning out.

Thanks 😊

[Kaiyya]

Hi, morning to you.... listen you’re not in you’re own sweetheart a lot of us on here can relate to you and many others

Ok.... it’s hard when WE no what we feel and the other half says it’s all in you’re head you look ok ⁉️ Well we want to scream but as we’re the ones who basically do everything the house , kids, car, work, food etc the men realy mean hey do t get sick we carnt cope! I’m sure it’s that tbh men can not handle us being ill

My daughter is a lesbian and her partner understands as she goes through similar sons tadd easier and I’m. It saying all men are the same my hubby is actually realy good but it’s my hot and cold flushes he thinks I exaggerate ::: sometimes I want to give up!

Even bosses family work colleuges they don’t understand and when you have to work we do it with a brave face but inside we want to scream I’m in agony but what would it achieve who knows...

Ok so you need to keep coming on these groups because at least we can all chat cry rant and rave and no one will judge us at all someone somewhere is always going through the same as you

Me

And the Next lady/girl/anyone

I actually now for the last year nearly been on the depo(prostrap injection not bled since amd the endo is far far far better I was bleeding constantly for 10 months at 1 go very gravey clots flooding pains couldn’t even go to work I’m 49 had bad periods in and out of hospital since I was 10! So to have a so called normal life now is a dream

I hope you’re ok try and get an hour away and go swimming , or a long hot bath turn the music up shout .. sing... scream/cry ... get the kids minded or take 1 hour every other day to youreself ... it helps seriously .... don’t think you’re fella and friends and family are being mean it’s just some people can not handle things /change and they do t want to

I had an X who told me I needed to be in hospital and a care Home permanent !!! Now you k ow why he is the Ex😜 hope you feel better soon I’m here to chat anytime as is everyone else take care sweetheart

[K_mis in reply to Kaiyya]

What a lovely reply - I have been feeling incredibly alone and especially as I don't want to be in my marriage anymore (haven't for six years but been trying to make it work) and feel trapped. My moderate to severe diagnosis is relatively new by surgery a year ago. Hope you're ok. Thank you 😊

[Kaiyya in reply to K_mis]

Hi Hun, oh dear listen if you’re 100% sure you want to get out of the marriage just do it

I’m not. Relationship guide but it’s nice to chat to someone who may have been through similar scenarios

Have you tried going away for a few days on you’re own? Anywhere? And just sit and relax and think? Even if you get a day away to

Youreself

I do t no we’re you live but I’m in north yorks if you ever want to grab a coffee or just chat and of load?

Or just through here is fine

I k ow what it’s like to feel alone and have no one I was I. My own for 7 years with babies and in the end the walls at night even get Intresting! But if you’re really not happy then you have made up

You’re mind then get out sweetheart, listen life is Gayle to short to stay in any unhappy relationship/marriages etc. We only have one shot st life it’s not a rehearsal and we can not go back at 60/70/80 and say I wish I had have done this/that/etc.... also if you’re realy not happy you’re kids will feel it and you do t want them growing up k owing mummy stayed but wasn’t happy listen I do t k ow you’re ins and outs that’s you’re personal stuff but trust me if you’re not happy do something about it that’s all I can say as I said life is far to short to stay we’re youre not happy and that goes to anyone else anywerenin the world never stay in an abusive or unloving relationship as the longer you stay the harder it is to leave .... where you have fallen out of love or something else (I’m not saying it’s abusive by the way) Just stating that if you’re not happy it’s youre life sweetheart and the only 1 you have ! Xxxx

Also you may be feeling that run down that you just feel like escaping I k ow I was like that when I was at my lowest ebb and I thought I want out I have had enough of uncaring men / partners etc it’s hard I know but I feel you will make the right decision

Take care and keep in touch ok X

[Ugne]

Hi K_mis,

I feel your pain. When things get tough and/or others demand of me more than I can do, i always remember the metaphor of the air oxygen mask: 'Put on your own mask before helping someone else'. Its so true. You need to take care of yourself first before being able to care for others.

Regarding lack of empathy from those who are close to me- what helped me was realising that perhaps they don't know how to empathise with me, not because they're bad people, but because they themselves haven't received enough love and support, hence they don't know how to show it, how to give, and how to listen. One thing we're not taught at schools is how to listen. I only realised it when i went through life mentoring/coaching last year. This realisation alone was a relief for me.

Feel free to join one of Endometriosis UK support groups: endometriosis-uk.org/suppor...

Or use our helpline 0808 808 2227, which is open on most days; the women on the helpline have all had endometriosis themselves and are very willing to listen. You are not alone, so please make use of this helpline and/or support groups..

Hope this helps, take care x

Ugne

[Booboo08]

I just think it's ignorance and don't understand. They're not living it day to day so don't feel the pain or chronic fatigue.

I don't even explain myself anymore to mum friends or hubby as feel like a stuck record. Just say I'm ill.

In that case it can be very lonely. But I pop on here or on fb endo revisited group too talk to females in same position as us.

Quit my job 6 weeks ago as was so fed up of explaining time off too my boss. Wasn't an easy decision for sure.

Just think if we had a broken leg and wore a cast We'd get sympathy. Its hard for people as they just don't understand.

I had a convo with a end sufferer who had had hers removed and had a child and moved on. She was like just get over it!! I was gobsmacked. Clearly she'd forgetting the pain we go through.

Do you! It's all ya can do xxx

[PJ11]

Hi, I had no support from my partner when I first suffered from endometriosis, and then to top it off my mother in law said I must be having an affair. I was so poorly and would be curled up on the sofa in pain after work and struggled looking after the kids as I was so fatigued. My partner never came to any hospital appointments so had no idea what was wrong.

When I finally got my date for my op my mother in law told my partner I've had that op it's nothing. That's was upsetting as it wasn't nothing to me, to be told I had a prolapsed wind, twisted Fallopian tube and severe adhesions of endometriosis was not nothing. I could hardly walk before the surgery but felt great after 3 weeks of my op x