Hard Day

Today I lost my job, it's really hard to loose a job that really love, the letter came today to say the we're letting me go due to ill health, I can't say I wasn't expecting it but when you see it in black and white it really hits home, my work place has been really amazing with everything and really supportive, I have been off work now for 12 months because of this stupid disease, I have tried to go back to work twice in this time but it was to much to cope with the pain and stress of it, I am sorry to be writing this but I don't know where else to turn, I have tried to kill myself 3 times because I can't cope with what this is doing to me, if you have read my previous posts you will know that I am now in a wheelchair due to losing the feeling in my pelvises and thighs, my hold world has been turned upside down in the space of such a short time and I know feel there isn't much anything else it can take from me, it's been hit after hit none stop for 12 months and about six of them months in hospital, don't get me wrong I have my husband how I love very much, if it wasn't for him I would not be here now. Sorry for such a intense post, I just needed to let it out as I feel so alone at the moment.

10 Replies

Lots of gentle hugs for your pain and bad news.

It must be so hard to absorb and accept that chapter is over. I am glad to hear that you have love and support from your husband to help you cope and get through this tough time.

Do you have any counseling support ? Is there any potential mini business idea you could explore doing online from home?

Thinking of you X xxxx

Thank you, I am under the mental health team and getting help from a psychologist to help me cope with all the changes in my life and learn to live and except them which is hard, doctors say I am not well enough to work at the moment but I am now a qualified nail technician so that is something I could look at in the future, at the moment I am just trying to get through each day at a time, can't really see that far in front at the moment, x

I'm sorry to hear you have lost your job. Have you been dismissed or let go on redundancy or Ill health? I also lost time from work and ended up being made redundant but I knew it was because of my absence. It's hard not to take it personally even though you know from an employer point of view it's not fair on them. Can I ask what treatment/operations/medication you have been on? x

Im so sorry to hear what youve had to go through and you are finding things difficult which is totally understandable. You need to keep your mind busy. Have you got friends and family to help support you through this aswell that you can talk to?

It sounds like you have a loving husband who supports you but sometimes its good to speak to others aswell to let everything.

Dont ever give up. Its been a tough year for you but having the right support around you is what you need right now. Sending lots of hugs x

Hi I'm sorry to hear this too ! I But I glad you are getting help and it's important you do . I can't imagine what you are going through at this time . However, as survivor of suicide ( my dad took his life ) I have to tell you this. The pain doesn't go away once you do, it just passes it on to the ones you leave behind. I am sorry, you probably don't need to hear this right now, but if I can help one person who may be suicidal re consider then I will . The pain and distruction left behind is a life sentence in itself


The nail technician stuff sounds like a good focus. I was a beauty therapist years ago and I've found my self at 42 back at uni . To earn extra money I have took up doing nails again . It's been 3 months and it's going good ! Lovely job, no stress, sociable, creative and ok money !! I bet you'll love it. In fact I don't know why I ever left For a more stressful career 😳

Try to hang in there and PM me any time xxxxxx

Oh wow i really feel for you. Worst than my situation. I am 7 weeks post my first lap. Was off 5 weeks then 2 weeks phased return and i work in nhs, the non caring profession 🙄 Yesterday i was told in no uncertain terms that no that my lap was done they expect me to not be off any more or i will be sent back to occupational health for a opinion on redeployment, in other words dismissal eventually as there really isnt many deployments i can do as a non clincian that is less basic than i already do. Although it is stressful and high pressured in my current role i can do a lot of non strenuous things. For the first time ever i contacted a cbt service offered through local nhs to discuss depression i feel, have an appointment next week. Will be weird as within the same trust as i work but i dont know abyone there and they have to respect privacy so my line manager wont know. My line manager is the most unempathetic person.

I wish you all the best. Have you considered applying for PIP ? If you do filll out your forms thinking of your worst.day when they ask for symptoms. In the team i work we help alot with PIP application for patients with a life long disease

Thank you I appreciate that, I am sorted on the benefit side of things, I get DLA have done for the past 10yrs due to other health problems x

Dear Nikki84

I'm very sorry to hear all this. Please remember you're never alone. It's good to hear that you have your husband as support but if you ever want to talk to someone we have a team of volunteers on our free confidential helpline who would be happy to listen.


Maybe there's a local support group?



Endometriosis UK

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Have they observed the law in dismissing you? It might be worth running it by an organisation such as Citizens Advice Bureau.

The Samaritans are wonderful people who will listen to you any time day or night. They're incredibly compassionate and you might find speaking to them useful at times when you're feeling suicidal. They're there to support us.

I hate to think of you feeling in physical and emotional pain. Endometriosis is hard enough to deal with. The only thing I can think of to say to provide a sense of light is that perhaps you need to take time away from work entirely to focus on your healing and this might actually benefit you even though it doesn't feel that way right now. My friend lost her job and it forced her onto a better path. There may be wonderfully rewarding work waiting for you that brings you greater happiness and prosperity than any work in the past. Life can unfold in beautiful ways following a painful change.

As regards the financial situation, would you qualify for benefits if you're suffering from depression? Again, Citizens Advice might be able to help you.

Your husband sounds like a wonderful, supportive man. I'm happy you have him.

Please hang in there. It's always darkest before the dawn.

Reach out to us if you need support.

Lots of love and hugs, x

Thank you all for the support I really appreciate it, I got a letter from the hospital today with appointment for endo specialist to sort my bladder and bowl out, it means more surgery but hopefully it will help (not like anything else can happen to me!) thanks again

You may also like...