I empathise with how you're feeling, and I realise that we all deal with things differently. I had a hysterectomy due to endo and prior to this had many days of "why me" etc. But then the real crap happened for me, and I nearly died following my bowel being perforated during the hysterectomy and I'd developed sepsis. I was in multi organ failure and needed emergency surgery to save my life. I woke up with a colostomy and with major damage to my bladder and urinary tract meaning I was incontinent.
It's made me realise that life is too short to life life focussing on the negatives. I've made a conscious decision to laugh about what's happened- if I hadn't I feared where it would take me. Endo denied me my own children, ultimately nearly killed me and I've got at least 2 major surgeries ahead of me, as well as the ongoing and daily issues I face.
People tell me I'm strong. I'm not. I just can't face the other path as it's been hell for me and my family.
It sounds like endo has had a huge impact on your life, but try it to let it be your life. I know it's easy to say, but ....
I really do wish you all the best x