I write this post as a call our for guidance and help I guess. My very first attempt to reach out to someone who can relate or help in the process of handling/ dealing with what comes with the WORST of WORST endo days.
I've genuinely no one to talk to on the matter barring my poor, poor 'he knows' and he really does. It's breaking my heart, seeing it affect us as it is. especially when my bad episodes flare. Work, social and family life all becoming a struggle.
I was diagnosed with severe endo 10 years ago. With a history before that of CIN level 3 of the cervix. Also from 15 unbeknownst till my early 20s a hormone imbalance. Resulting in PMDD.
Following x2 lap ops, x9 bouts GNrH (which has left me with bone issues.) Mirena coil. Every pill going...To absolutely no avail.
Here I lay in agony, (Again) Ripping myself to pieces with guilt. As my fiance tries to settle.
It's the monthly alternate side pelvic pains that are messing me up physically and my mental state is taking a bashing.
Feb 11th 17 was the last time this happened. NHS 111 said I should go to A&E.
Scans confirmed rupture of cysts, shadow of uterus and possible bowel fibroid.
New specialist won't do anything major either as I'm under 40.
I just want to be the vibrant confident woman my fiance fell in love with all those years ago. The woman whom up until x3 years plus my fiance wasn't afraid of being intimate with me.
I can't move, my bellies bloated severely. Constant Clear fluid discharge. Im stressed to max with worry, guilt, and the lack of my beautiful man's touch even when at my best? Stir crazzzzzy with him not engaging.
I've probably put down far too much here. I really needed to do this.
Life's becoming overwhelming, my close others (friends, colleagues, family) lives forced to my attention with utmost priority.