Argument : Feeling terrible today, me and... - Endometriosis UK

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Argument

Tboag profile image
13 Replies

Feeling terrible today, me and my husband had a blazing argument yesterday, I ended up throwing the ironing board and iron out the back garden, (surprised myself how far I got it considering I've just had the worst pain weekend in ages)

It's a mess, he is so used to me being at his beck and call, I have up work when we started a family, my choice , so have been house wife and mother for many years, I've had part time jobs for the last 7 years but now not working due to this monster in me

I don't know how to make my life better, I'm making everyone around me miserable,

I hate you Endometreosis, my life was pretty simple 3 years ago,

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Tboag profile image
Tboag
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13 Replies
Brottonbabe profile image
Brottonbabe

Morning,

I'm sorry to hear this (but impressed with your ironing board throwing!). It sounds like you just want some acknowledgment that you're going through hell. Whilst it doesn't help the pain, it's really nice to hear someone say something understanding at times, like "you must feel dreadful, let me get that..." Etc. Even though you gave up paid work doesn't mean that being a housewife/mum isn't a full time job and again that should be recognised.

I'm not sure how you want to take this forward but you could always take yourself away for a night and let your husband have the chance to deal with everything you do daily. Or if that's not possible make a list of everything you do, despite being in so much pain. It may be worth explaining in very clear terms what the pain is like... I said to my husband "imagine I was kicking you in the balls constantly but one week I let up and just did it ever other day then I continued with constant" and he winced.

It's amazing what endo sufferers still manage to do despite feeling like the world is ending. Smiling at people, being polite, taking an interest in others as well as many practical things is sometimes just beyond possible. Yet it's done.

I'd suggest you take some time to yourself if you can, even if that's reading, a bath, a day out, a spa day or an evening away. If you can see a friend even better. Mine have kept me sane through some really difficult times.

You're not alone and shouldn't ever feel bad, you didn't ask for this and have made fantastic achievements above what others have to experience. Good luck and take care of yourself x

JeanOsborne profile image
JeanOsborne

Hi Hun, I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time of it. My heart goes out to you. I'm here if you ever need to talk. I do agree that maybe you need some time out just for you. You're not alone Hun. Sending hugs your way.

JessieP profile image
JessieP

Hello mate,

Personally I think thats the best place for an ironing board & iron, I never iron unless its impossible not to.

You are not alone hun, we all having breaking points but they can also be points we re evaluate whats important to us & what needs to be done. This could be his wake up call, I love the above analogy of being kicked in the balls constantly, something relateable to guys.

Kids keep us going in times it feels impossible to go on.

Jx

24endo profile image
24endo

I think it's just pure frustration in agony sometimes rage is all that gets me going try not to be hard on yourself no ones perfect n I'm sure it's not everyday the ironing board flys we all have a breaking point and pain just pushes u over the edge constantly that n fact we don't bleed from our eyeballs people around us just get bck to normal quicker than we can or get So used to it being our norm they don't react how they would have at first I just think they don't really mean to be thoughtless or unsupportive it's just they don't really know how to support us hopefully on here we can do that bit xxx

carolineeballard profile image
carolineeballard

Sorry to hear you're feeling like that.

Maybe try take some time out, even if it is just a hot bath, candles and face mask.

My mother used to be the same, and her endometriosis definitely made her mood swing and sway. My father learnt to leave her be when she was in a rage.

And if you have strength to throw ironing board and iron!! (Quite impressed by that) Then you must have a strong character and you can get yourself through this rough patch. X

Tboag profile image
Tboag

Thanks girls, thankfully my pain has subsided somewhat, but my heads still a mess, don't know what I want, and what u know I what I can't have, arrgg

Larrie7 profile image
Larrie7

Can you plan something to look forward to? weekend away, even if its just for a change of scenery. I like the idea of a spa day, hot stone massage? Aside from that i have found the mental side of being ill one of the worst symptoms. So just remind yourself that its ok to be pissed off with what you're going through. And it wont be this way forever. Sometimes when I was having a bad day I'd make a list of all the things ive accomplished in my life, doesnt even have to big things, theres a lot of little things. And then I'd read the list back over and it'd make me feel better.

Tboag profile image
Tboag

Thanks larrie, I hate booking anything in advance incase I can't go, it just upsets me more, but a local spa night sounds great, just a bit skint atm, what with giving up my job, but I will look into it, xxxx

Larrie7 profile image
Larrie7 in reply to Tboag

Yeah I know what you mean, i get anxious about planning stuff too. My mum tries to get me to book stuff and I have to forcefully explain no because I just dont know how I'll feel and it stresses me out even more! I agree with everyone else saying to leave the ironing board in the garden aswell. I never iron unless I have a job interview or something and then i run my hair straighteners over a shirt collar and cuffs :D

Hope you're feeling better today

JessieP profile image
JessieP in reply to Larrie7

OMG thats a brilliant idea re the alternative use of hair straighteners! Im gonna try it! :)

emmaibiza profile image
emmaibiza in reply to Tboag

Hi hunni

Sorry you are having such a tough time. I am the same as you with booking things in advance as we have spent so much money in the past on weekends away etc then I'm in to much pain to go.

I do book myself a lot of spa treatments through Groupon. They have some great offers and for about £20 you can get a good few hours out and a massage or facial and use of the facilities like sauna and jacuzzi. I go on my own or get one of my friends to come for a girly afternoon. Have a look on Groupon and see what you can find for your area. They usually let you book in last min if they are quiet. Sounds like it would do you some good and it always makes me feel a little better for a while.

Xx

AmyLee profile image
AmyLee

I've battled endo for 7 years, only known for last 2. GPs all that time have tried to get me to take anti depressants and I've been very against it. Finally post hysterectomy with severe illness related anxiety I agreed. Never thought I'd say this but it's really helped me cope. Just saying in case you might think about this - Endo is so hard and we need all the help we can get. Leave the ironing board where it is! Xx

Tboag profile image
Tboag in reply to AmyLee

Thank you, I'm already on citolopram for stress/what ever you want to call it, xxx

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