"Talking back" to GPs

[rachel239]

I went to the doctors the other day and I just sat there and nodded along with everything she said, even though I knew she wasn't listening to me. She told me I was "just constipated" - how do you manage to stick up for yourselves without looking like you're undermining the gp? Haha x

[Hidden]

I just use a calm threating tone of voice which sounds like "get to business" and in most cases it works.

I think it helped when I Realized although they are people of authority it's their job to treat you.

But at the same time if they don't listen even if you push just leave the practice, mine refused to send me to an allergist because she thought my severe allergies that kept coming up were all going to be cured with a laproscopy.

[Hope264]

I would give them one more go, with very clear request- do you want a laproscopy?what do you need them to hear?- write it down, if they don't listen consider finding a GP that you feel listens. Given they are sometimes only decent help you will get in navigating systems and revovery things can become impossible without a good GP. I find if I think of it like I was trying to get help for a friend or my child I would not hesitate to speak up, so why different for me, so it can't be.

After years of it I can only say, if your starting out on a treatment journey, please self refer yourself to a good GP and don't be afraid to 'fire' health professionals not inclined to getting the information by listening to patients or doing things like being ignorant or only interested with scans that will show nothing for endo. Many of the ladies on here have had this. Good luck

[KEndo16]

I would advise you to write your concerns in a short letter to them, ensurevthey get the letter before your next appointment. Say in the letter what your symptoms are and what treatment you would like to investigate. They might respond well to this, as they have time to consider your request. This opens up a new level of communication, where you go on the record as requesting treatment options. I follow my letters up with a confirmation of what we discussed and where my illness will go from here.

Sounds business-like, but some GPs may appreciate the efficiency of this approach, plus it gives you a record of progress to keep in your health notes at home.

[Hidden]

I would go back and see a different GP. Write down a list of everything you're concerned about before you go in case you go blank in your appointment. And your surgery should have a complaints procedure so you can make them aware that you were disappointed with the way the appointment went. As has been said, if you don't feel this resolves things, move to another surgery. I am at the point now where I see one practice nurse at my GP's and refuse appointments with anyone else because I had such a dreadful experience with a GP there.

[Hidden]

I feel for you and sincerely wish I knew a good answer. All I've come up with so far is making sure I see other GPs instead of this one doctor who has the listening skills of a paper bag. I got so frustrated one particular time with him that in the end I said "you're not listening" and the response I got back included statements on how he was listening while I sat and thought "not all the time you're talking you're not" while I waited for him to pause for breath. I was going to change practices but two new doctors started last year and so far one of them has shown she listens and is calm and considerate. I try and see her but in an emergency will just accept who is available and hope for the best. The rude one does try to come up with answers and seems good diagnostically - just has zero people skills. Which makes being a GP a bit of an odd choice! Good luck.

[Flower58]

I went through the exact same thing when I first started seeing GP's over my pain. "you're just constipated, I'm going to send you to a dietician, it's just IBS, You need to eat better" etc. Its horrible! Once I learnt to tell them firmly "this is NOT constipation, I know what that feels like. THIS feeling is completely different" they FINALLY started sending me to specialists. It wasn't until I saw the paediatrician that I eventually got a referral to the gynaecologist.

You have every right to stand up for yourself. See a different GP as others have suggested. Keep your tone firm and explain that you have had constipation before, and this feeling is completely different to constipation. Explain that your symptoms are worrying and alarming to you and that you want a referral to a gynaecologist, to look into it further.

I hope this works for you, I know that some GP's can be a lot more difficult than others! just keep trying and sticking up for yourself.

Best of luck to you xx

[xxsammiejoxx]

Have you been diagnosed? Sorry to hear this. This is what I experienced apart from I never suspected endo till last year. For about 6 years I have received Ibs tablets. Nothing helped, even took myself to A&E to be told I was constipated and given enema. I had colonoscopy and endoscopy last year, and also referred to a dietiticion about the fodmap diet. They found nothing during these investigations. Then I came off my implant and my periods returned last year which was hell, the pain during periods was so bad they finally agreed to investigate possible endo. Thing is, I had pelvic pain for years and they only agreed to investigate for endo when I mentioned the period problems. Which is not fair there are a lot more symptoms than period problems which I had mentioned, all of my symptoms were typical with endo and finally been diagnosed with it after lap last week. I hope you get the answers you need soon. It's a long road. If you have any period problems or pain during intercourse maybe mention that? You can also ask yourself to be reffered to an endometriosis specialist.

[rachel239 in reply to xxsammiejoxx]

Thanks for your reply' I was diagnosed via laparoscopy I'm August and so far things only seem to be getting worse xx

[xxsammiejoxx in reply to rachel239]

Did they remove any endo during the lap? Sometimes they don't if it's advanced. Which they are supposed to set out a treatment plan for. So your GP is not listening even though you have been diagnosed? I would mention things that CANNOT be due to constipation. Like period pain or pain during intercourse if you have these symptoms, would like to see them try to say they are due to constipation! I am dissapointed as I have received no follow up for advice or further treatment even though they did remove it during lap it grows back in time. I will be making my own appointment to discuss protecting my fertility for children in the future, I'm 26 and would like children in my early 30's. You could also go to the GP and ask to be reffered to an endometriosis specialist to talk through your options and further treatment. I hope you get the answers needed they should certainly be helping you since you have been diagnosed, a lot still is not known about endometriosis maybe your GP is not familiar with endometriosis patients. You could also ask reception for a different doctor than your own when booking an appointment. Hope things improve soon!

[Hope264]

Oh thats awful to hear, your diagnosed and the GP is still not listening properly. Good luck with it