Relationships

Would you say endo has effected any romantic relationships you've had? How? How do the two tie in for you?

I'm just a little curious. Maybe I think endo made a bigger impact on a relationship I was in than it truly did or maybe I'm second guessing myself because I don't know anyone with endo. I think it really put a toll on the other person, caused some resent, and obviously made sexual stuff pretty difficult.

How have you handled the negatives it caused in a relationship, if any? Did it get any easier?

I'm just wondering about other's experiences now that I am part of this community and can ask :) Thank you!

7 Replies

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  • Hi iv had endo for 8 and a half years and for me it caused a lot of problems for me as when it came to being intimate it would be painful or sex would make me bleed it got to the stage that we split up as my ex was unsympathetic and didn't care that I was crying when I was in pain I ended up meeting my husband after this and he understands completely he never been forceful he is quite happy to cuddle up on the sofa or bring me a hot water bottle in bed if I'm in pain it's all the little things that make a difference xx

  • I have been in a relationship

    For five years and at the beginning of our relationship I didn't have any issues apart from heavy periods which I've had my

    Whole life. Thinking back small signs started creeping in around four years ago, bladder weakness and frequency started to get worse before but it's only the last two years that really because a major issue where I didn't feel right more often than not. Sex became painful and even makes me feel nauseous sometimes, passing Irvine became very painful especially around my cycle and I was having daily pain in my abdomen mostly on my lower right side leading up to the laparoscopy in August. To be totally honest I played it down to my partner for a long time because I didn't want to put him off me in terms of sex. When I finally told him I needed a laparoscopy I think he was taken back as he just thought my periods were bad and not much else. I then had to be open with him as he thought I was insane to have surgery not knowing all that was troubling me. Being open and communicating with him was the best thing I ever did. I think he was even a bit relieved as he though I wasn't into sex as much anymore to do with him which isn't the case at all! The laparoscopy was difficult on us both as I do the cooking and cleaning in the house so he had to take on all that and look after me after long days at work but it helped overall because he's realised it's serious and im not being lazy if I skipped the hoovering or cooked an easy dinner. Now he helps more and brings me hot water bottles and food at that time of the month etc. He asked me to marry him and I am so happy this all happened before he took that leap because I know he accepts all of me. There are understanding guys out there that will treat you like a queen regardless so just be open and honest and you will find someone that loves you for you. Endo and all it's complications included x

  • Hi, I am in a 4 year relationship. I had no idea I had endo but have had the pains for over two years now, one of the main reasons I went to get checked out was actually the pain during sex as I had enough of being upset about it. At the beginning of my relationship I didn't have any problem being intimate and enjoyed every second, then all of a sudden i was crippled in pain every time. I also put it down to my partner until it got to the point I was getting bad pains all the time and swelling out randomly everyday.

    When I got my diagnosis I was so upset as I then realised it was me and I will always be in pain, at one point thinking he will never actually understand and probably get bored of me not doing anything, but my partner has been amazing! If I'm in pain he is happy to stop or try something that doesn't hurt as much for me. He also loves to get me a hot water bottle and cuddle on the couch instead. He takes time off to look after me when I'm at my worst and tells me I look amazing when I actually look like a blown out fish!

    I would say just be completely honest and explain what is it, you will find someone who will understand, and if they don't, they don't deserve you!

    Xxxx

  • when i was dignosed in april 2016 i was with a guy who was supportive in may my cysts burst and had a emergancy op and he was with me though that but after he left me as he could not handle how long my recovery would be. so i went a few months on my own and i ended up getting really depressed. but 11th dec 2016 i met my current boyfriend i exsplained to him from the start what i was going though and he understood and still wanted to be with me. 11th jan 2017 i had a op to detach everything from my bowel and remove the cysts my op took 5 hours and my boyfriend has been with me every step of the way and has been supporting me all the way and every day he checks to see how the recovery is going and later this year we are buying a house as we cant be a single day away from each other. so there is a positive so keep your chin up it does get better.

  • Hey!

    Just want to say welcome to the community hunni!

    I have been with my Partner for 6 and a half years, we met when i was 14 and he was 16.

    I was on crutches when he met me, I had a problem with my hip. That caused a lot of grief for me as little things were a struggle, like going out for long walks or doing anything too active. The main thing that bothered me was sex. Because of the problem i had with my hip i couldn't open my legs very wide and in turn i felt very unsexy.

    He still stayed with me though and we got through it, just used our imagination.

    I had a total hip replacement in June 2015 and things are amazing now, i feel like i have a new joint and can do more than i used to do, & i feel sexier now haha. I still have to be careful due to pain in my hip and risks of dislocation.

    I got diagnosed with endo 2 years ago and at first my partner didn't really understand. I've had surgeries for my endo and he still wasn't very understanding. I decided to take him to one of my appointments and told the endo specialist about ever bad thing my partner had said to me & that he didn't understand how i felt and what was going on and she opened her mouth to him and put him straight.

    Since then he has been amazing! hes always been very supportive of me and accepted me for who i am. I am very blessed to have such an amazing man in my life! I love the fact that we have grown up together, he is my first love, we have only ever "been" with each other. We have a very special relationship.

    In November on my 21st birthday he asked me to marry him! I've been waiting so long for that question haha! i'm so happy and glad i've got such an amazing partner!

    Every relationship goes through rough patches. i would say if there are any partners out there who are unwilling to understand what you are going through, then take them to one of your appointments and tell the doctor the things they don't understand. It was a great help for me!

  • Hi x

    I think Endo played a significant part in my first marriage breakdown thougj I was not diagnosed then. Mostly issued due to extreme fatigue low libidos pain with intercourse and possibly a contributor to depression.

    Iny second marriage it's gone better though there was the same issue about my lack of sexual desire and having pain. The diagnosis has helped as hubby gradually realised how it was a proper illness and become increasingly empathetic as I showed him some blogs and info.

  • I have been with my fiancee for 3 years and was diagnosed with endo 6 years ago.

    The first year we was together my endo was under control, but the last two years have been the worst pain wise and I can honestly say he is the reason I keep going.

    We constantly have to cancel plans, rarely have sex as it's to painful and he is so understanding. He is constantly reading books and blog posts about endo, he brings me hot water bottles, runs me baths, makes me food, cuddles me when I have crying fits, and treats me like a queen. He asked me to marry him later year and I feel like the luckiest women alive.

    We are fighting this disease together and every woman fighting endo deserves to have a partner like mine to fight it with them.

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