Hey all, sorry this is just a rant, Its one of my very high pain days and i am at the end of my tether. I try so hard to time my painkillers right so that i can at least maintain it at a pain level of 6 or 7 but somedays it just doesn't work out. Today is a 10/10 and i feel like my life is not worth living.
I am in india, the government healthcare here is next to nothing. I have already spent so much money on private specialists undergoing laproscopies, aspirations, ivfs, lupron shots, pills, accupuncture and what not. I have tried the endo diet, self massage, supplements, yoga, exercise...nothing helps much. I try so hard to hold on to hope but really, what else can i try now? Financially, we cannot afford to keep spending all our savings on pointless surgeries. It is really hard to find excision specialists in india. I don't have children, and i still have some hope so i dont want a hysterectomy although i am 36 this month and hope is fading fast.
I feel like i have no hope left, i have spent the last one hour hugging a really hot heatpad to my stomach and crying in misery. I know this will pass, and once i feel a bit better i wont feel the same but right now it is really really hard to convince myself that there is any point in living like this. Sorry for being such a downer, i just needed to vent. Hope others are having a better day than mine.