First app at bsge clinic in 5 days so excited

This might be naive of me as my partner has to remind me constantly one app won't change my life but I feel like it's the first big step to not feeling on trial n hopefully finding a gd treatment that suits me or at least some reassurrance I'm not crazy and there's evidence of my pain I guess my partners scared I'm gonna be distressed as they aren't going to pick up my endo on ultrasound again but it's been longer since I stopped depo which I've heard affects appearance of ovaries on scan plus I'm hoping at a bsge they're better at reading and performing ultrasound for endometriosis on bowel and as I'm still healing from Lletz which sent my endo Wild the scan can't be internal small mercy as they're hell and maybe they wil scan more around rather than just prod my ovaries through a stuck tube till I cry n tell me there's no endo at all I don't know I'm still excited because at worst I'm in same place I am now I've had lots of rubbish experiences n I didn't just die on the spot I'm sure worst scenario I will manage sad disappointed or not I'm hoping best scenario is they see stuff but if they don't I know I just need to push on for lap as it didn't show till lap before and to be fair it's only ever affected my ovaries mid pregnancy I had a huge suspected endometrioma so there's not much point looking at them anyway j don't know it's a kinda nervous excited maybe he's right don't be too optimistic but I can't help it argh any way to end this monster controlling my life is like a dream n it's like being a kid at Christmas you might not have what u asked for but ur desperate to open each gift I see my app as a gift after the way I've been treated a little understanding will go a very long way n I'm hoping that n more is what I get long msg very early just shows how much I can't stop thinking about it 🙈🙊🙉

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