I really need to rant somewhere that people might understand.
My endo is ruining my life, first of all like most of us all I feel like I ever do is beg and chase up doctors for help. After a long journey to diagnosis. I had a laparascopy on 1st of June last year. After lots of arguin with a crap doctor, I managed to get referred to a specialist centre where I thought my journey to get help had ended. I met my consultant who told me the extent of my endo following MRI ( bowel stuck to womb, nodules etc etc) and he told me no more waiting, he gave me his email address and i was told to think about surgery and then email him which I did. Well, no reply from him and again I had to start trying to chase things up. I managed to speak to him a few weeks later and he assured me he would get my surgery sorted out asap. My hopes were yet again raised but guess what......the surgery still hasn't even been booked three weeks later.
My relationship with my partner is rocky and I no longer feel like I want to socialise with anyone. No one understands and I'm alone, alone in this shit with pain everyday. Panic and anxiety are out of control and I just feel useless, I'm never happy and feel insecure about myself to the point I'm scared I'm going to lose my partner. I just can't see an end to this. I feel like I have to prove how bad things are all the time to everyone and when they don't understand I get angry which makes me a crap person to be around. I have no money as I can't work and can't claim anything because of my partners earnings so I'm living relying on him which doesn't always work out so well.
I feel so tired and ill everyday which makes me panic. I just give up!!!! X