I spent the weekend in Bath at my friend’s hen party. I learned a lot of things over the weekend - some things I am not sure I ever needed to know (particularly my increased knowledge of the pterodactyl) and some things I want to share with you guys.
We went to the thermal spa baths which were absolutely amazing and I would definitely recommend a spa break for any endo sister! The combination of heat, water and aromatherapy soothed the endo beast into a peaceful slumber. The entire time I was in the thermal pool and steam rooms I had no pain, in fact I could feel my muscles actively relax. My Lumbosacral Region is constantly tense, tight and painful – but not on Saturday, on Saturday my back relaxed. Indeed after leaving the spa I felt amazing; I could move freer, I had no pain for a few hours and my body felt like it had time to heal and replenish. The first lesson I learnt this weekend is that we endo warriors need to treat ourselves once in a while, we can really benefit from it. Going to a spa is not something I would have considered ever doing for myself: I could come up with lots of reasons why I should save the money, I could think up lots of things I could have spent the money on, I could find a hundred reasons not to go but now I realise that the benefits far outweigh the excuses. It’s good to do something a little extra to treat our tired bodies. At the end of the day the endo attacks our body; my body has taken beatings daily from the endo monster but it continues to carry me, it continues to get me out of bed every day, it continues to hold me together when I feel like I am falling apart. It is easy to hate your body when you have endometriosis but instead of focusing on its defects, once in a while, it’s good to take a moment to appreciate its strength in the face of a potentially overwhelming demon. There are many people out there who crumble at less and your body keeps you going. Your body is the greatest thing you will ever own so spoil it.
Since I was in Bath for a Hen weekend the goodness of the spa was rapidly undone with the help of some Gin, tonic and dancing to 3am. The benefits of the spa had lulled me into a false sense of security, leading me to believe I was normal and healthy. I enjoyed a few (too many) G&T’s, danced my heart out and woke at 7am the next morning in horrendous pain! I actually wished for a hangover because that would have been easier to manage. Instead Frank (my right ovary) was trying to kill me, throwing the many pain combinations learned over the years my way. Frank was not content to be angry alone (after all misery loves company) so Frank decided to irritate my bowel, bladder, pelvis and back. Franks tantrum, coupled with muscles I haven’t moved in a long time aching made for a grim morning. But I got out of bed, got a warm shower, took my painkillers and wrapped up warm. Despite my initial fear when I woke I survived the day and got home safe.
I had an absolutely fantastic weekend, sure it took it out of me and I suffered for it for a few days but I regret nothing! I would do it all again in a heartbeat, which brings me to the second lesson I learnt this weekend; I now believe it is vitally important to cut loose once in a while. I cannot even begin to explain how good it felt to get dressed up with my friends, go out and dance to the early hours. I got so used to being sick, to being careful, to being pre-emptive and not pushing myself that I forgot it is important to live. I forgot how much I enjoyed dancing, I forgot how much I loved just being another one of the girls (not the sick one), I forgot what it felt like to dress up and wear heels and I forgot what it felt like to be pre-severe-endo-pain me. Yes I suffered after, yes I am still suffering, yes I have had to restrict myself to recuperate but you know what, it is all worth it. I am not suggestion you do anything that might cause you damage. What I am saying is if you’re having a good spell, if you know you have a few free days to recover, if your pain allows you should push past it and do something crazy fun; do something that you know you’ll pay for, do something that you know you can probably only do once, do something that the old you used to love, do something that makes you feel alive – live in the moment. Despite the pain, exhaustion and recovery period I mentally and emotionally feel better than I have in a while, I regret nothing.
I have decided to treat myself again; I have another weekend away booked for this weekend to allow me indulge in a Spa in Donegal and have some R&R with my better half. So my advice is to treat yourself, treat your body and mind anyway you can. It is easy to think of excuses, postpone and delay but once you indulge yourself you’ll be glad you did!