History: I was called "possibly infertile" at 17, had my first miscarriage at 18, started depo provera once engaged and had a full term pregnancy at 19. I had a 2nd pregnancy right after, babies 17 months apart, also a depo baby. I had terrible pain all the while, but all anyone could say was I had a tilted uterus and low tolerance for pain (BS! Ex: I do my own piercings). The pill did nothing but make me crazy, so we tried an IUD, which rejected in under 2 months, and I was left with another miscarriage. I had a tubal ligation(my tubes tied) just after my 22nd birthday, and 6 months later I was taking my uterus out because it had grown to the size of a grapefruit. In SIX months! The doc was my obgyn from baby #2. He did a biopsy and said it was Adenomyosis, but didn't check surrounding tissue, just took my uterus out. A year later went back for similar pain, but since he couldn't seen anything in scans said it was just low pain tolerance to ovulation cysts and irritable bowels. I was so angry (I have paid him thousands to blow me off) that I left and never went to the follow up with the IBS medicine (threw it away.)
Now: I'm 24 and been handling things on my own with natural approaches mixed with an suicide aromatase inhibitor, but I have to cycle off of that (according to Internet research) and this is my first month with such terrible pain again. The AI works when I can take it, and even though I am supposed to cycle off to let my hormones balance, so I don't lower estrogen TOO much, I had to take a couple capsules today. My body feels like I did 500 crunches and then drank fire, then put an ice pick through my ovary into my spine when i eat. I am a SAHM of 2 toddlers and can't play, can't do chores, and feel isolated from my husband and friends. I honestly want to drink alcohol or smoke mj, both of which I haven't done since early college*, just to deal with the pain and depression. I can't keep taking norco and excedrin migraine, or I'll get caffeine/codine headaches too. So I go every other day with pain meds. It's terrible today and I've never felt so depressed when I have every reason to be happy! I have a great positive mental attitude for the majority of life, and ive worked hard to get to the top of my mind-body connection. But the last 2 or 3 days have been helatious, and I just want to hide from the world. Anyone have advice on how to get through the "black as hell" days?
*American, but UK knows more about endo than us