Feeling a bit sad

Just needing a bit of a moan :( I have put in a poor few days, pain going down my right leg, pain in my right shoulder, sore back, sore head, post coital bleeding and just generally feeling pretty useless and broken. I've just had my period so thought the worst would be over but it seems to be worse each month with something new appearing each time. I've never understood the shoulder thing but looking back it follows my periods too I just hadn't paid it much attention, or rather hadn't associated it with everything else. I have ended up staying in tonight as I didn't feel up to joining my friends in town the thought of jumping about and dancing sent shudders through me as even when I started laughing too hard earlier on today my insides started to pull. I am hating this and I am hating even more that I don't have a diagnosis yet. Nobody can tell me what is wrong and nobody seems to be in any rush too.

I should be asleep but I can't seem to at the moment, the more I try the harder it is and all I am aware of is my right leg, that numb asleep feeling that's not quite sore but is definitely uncomfortable and is just making me think more and more. I want to know how far on this is if I have it because in my head it makes no sense to be this uncomfortable and sore if there is only a little of something floating about surely it would have to be a larger issue??

I am getting myself worked up because all I can think about is fertility. I want family, I want that baby girl or boy or a multiple of each if I am that lucky! but at this present moment in time nothing could feel further away. I feel totally heartbroken at this idea and the fact that this is feeling worse month on month and I don't seem to be getting closer to anything is making it harder.

I just wanted that rant.

I hope all is well with all others out there :)

3 Replies

  • Feel free to rant, I always want to come on and rant about something but I'd be on most days if I ranted about everything lol. I know the feeling of things getting worse and seeing no end result, my infertility is bothering me also. Its a big heavy weight bearing down on our shoulders and day and night that's all I think about. Its selfish of me but I just get so wrapped up in trying to think of ways to resolve it all. Its hard an its definitely a good thing to come and have a rant, especially as so many of us feel exactly the same way and we can support each other. If you want the ball rolling, every time you have pain that makes you unable to move, even to breathe, call 999 and go to hospital, do that dos few times and they'll start to notice somethings not right. They may tell you its a water infection or a tummy but or your appendix or like me, there's nothing wrong just go home. If you explain to them what you think it us, they may get the gynae team to come down to you and they can do some tests whilst you're there. On the other hand you could go to your doctor and ask for a referral to a gynae team and then when you go to see them, demand a laparoscopy be done to find out because you feel its a lot worse than just painful periods. The gynae team will try to put you off also but stay strong, they're only saying it because it costs the NHS and they dont want to use it on us (but they'll let an 18 year old get GG implants to make her feel better about herself) Keep your chin up and send me a message if you need a virtual cuddle and a chat, always here for any of you :)

    Leya xxx

  • Hey Hunni I know exactly how u feel about the fertility I have been dignosed with endo since I was 19 but problem started at 15, and since then all I've done is question about my fertility and I'm still no better off to knowing coz all they say to me Is untill am ready to try they don't know... I've asked for fertility tests and they said after I've tried for 6-12months then they'll do them and step in if need be.

    If your in pain constantly when your on ur period just keep going the doctors that's what I had todo even thou at 15 I showed signs of endo as I had a cyst that was 4cm and wouldn't remove it

  • Hi I dont have any miracle answers but I understand frustrated and scared. Hope your feeling better xxx

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