Has anyone tried any kind of psychosexual therapy and did it help?

I was diagnosed about 4 years ago when I was 16 and the main problem was my periods. Since then I've had 4 ops and tried the pill, coil, and depo jabs. My last lap there was no more visible endo but I'm still in a lotof pain. Now the real problem is sex-having had endo since before I became sexually active, I've never experienced sex that wasn't extremely painful. As a result I am now afraid of sex and have no idea if it still huts because I can't even try. I'va spoken to my GP and he told me to try Relate, but they have a long waiting list and with me being out of the country a lot they were unable to see me. I'm getting married in May and I'm terrified that this coukd ruin everything!! Any suggestions?

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  • Hiya,

    I have just been diagnosed myself and have recently been referred to a psychosexual therapist. Although, unfortunately I can't advise you on what to expect as I'm still awaiting my appointment. However, it may be useful for you to know my gynaecologist put me in for a quick referral as they understand the consequences of this condition more so than gp's do. My gp didn't even believe there was anything wrong with me which says it all. I would push to be referred again. I do have a slightly different situation to yourself, in that I once had a painless sex life, until my endo symptoms caused the pain. It sounds to me as though you could be suffering with vaginismus, which makes you clamp up, because your expecting pain. This is what I'm being referred for as a secondary effect of the endo, I can't seem to stop myself from panicking from the thought the pain will be unbearable. Therefore I've simply given up trying, I've been given dilators to use to get me used to not associating the pain with intercourse, so I hope that this will work. Anyway, I hope you get the help you need, and wish you all the best for your wedding xx

  • Try using dialators, to practice at home, you can order them off the internet.

  • It's not the solution if the pain is caused by endo, misaligned cervix, Mullarian deformities, adhesions and so on. Dilators might be useful if the only issue is one of relaxing, but there are plenty of phyiscal and medical reasons why the pain is excrutiating and no amount of talking therapy will resolve that, nor will exercises or dilators. infact some physical attempts to solve the problem can make things worse in the longer term.

    The best advice I can give is avoid penetrative sex - there are plenty of other ways to enjoy intimacy without having the regular sex act.

    We have discussed it quite a bit on this forum - just use the search button and type in sex pain or painful sex etc. Not every couple finds the same alternatives will work for them. Be prepared to be inventive and explore other avenues for having fun without causing you pain.

    And make sure your gynaecologist checks for any easily identifiable reasons for the pains. Get checked for deformities, misaligned cervix, adhesions and so on. If it is something that can be resolved by surgery then you would need to make a decision if the surgery is worth having, bearing in mind that surgery for adhesions for example can be a short term fix and may encouage even more adhesion issues in the future.

    This can be a useful op if your goal to to try and conceive and you need to be having regular sex to TTC. Aside from that find other ways to keep the pain at a minimum or avoid it.

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