hi, just looking for a bit of an uplift. all new to this.

[Setayharas]

hi everyone,

really just hoping for people to talk to as at the moment im feeling like no-one understands.

im 26 getting married next year, 7 years ago when i first met my boyfriend i complained of painful sex, was told i had a cyst after months of back and forth to the docs. when it shrunk they told me i was imaging things and being young and silly i didnt question my doctor or push things.

things got much worse and finally iv been told i have "suspected endo" just finished tricycling my first round of mycrogynon which made everything much worse. so im on the waiting list for a lap.

i just really need to know what to do, i feel like all my future plans to do with having a family have been pulled from under my feet. im constantly worrying that ill never have children and as my best friend has just given birth i cant talk to her without sounding like a jealous cow.

im just so scared of everything thats happening to me and like alot of people am finding everyday a struggle to get up and get on with my life. i cant stop worrying that ill never have children and that having my lap so far before my wedding and us officially trying for a baby will be a waste of time fertility wise.

sorry to rant on my first ever post iv kinda just turned into a bit of a mess recently

[lillyflower]

Hi I'm sorry to hear you've been having a hard time, I think most of us can relate to the frustration of not knowing exactly what's wrong and being fobbed off. Im glad your on list for lap as at least then you'll finally get some answers. I was relieved to finally know why I get so much pain but was also upset at knowing it was endo but at least once you know they should either remove it or treat it and having an answer does help. Don't panic about children, many people have not had issues and have you asked if you can have a dye test to check tubes at same time as lap. I had this done at sane time as hadn't had any luck and unfortunately found both my tubes are blocked and need removing. I'm not telling you this to scare you but just to say yes I was devastated and still having bad days especially when my friend told me she was pregnant so know how you feel. But I'm thinking positive and having tests for ivf to see if that's going to be an option. I was told id have 40% chance if tests are ok so I'm just saying although Ihad bad news there is still hope so don't worry there is help if you need it but for now look after yourself get the lap done and then once you have answers you'll know what your facing. I think all the waiting and not knowing was actually worse than diagnosis. I hope you get a date soon so you can recover and look forward to your wedding x

[Tasha]

Hiya Setayharas,

Sounds like you're feeling a little lonely. I completely understand how you feel. Like you want to wake up tomorrow and all this be a dream. People talk about fighting against cancer or healing a broken leg, but endo seems to just go under the radar and feels like you're just a woman with a bad case of PMT. Don't fret, on here, we are in the same boat together and I'm sure we can keep each other afloat, smiling and thinking positive to help us on our way!

It seems like a painful journey, but there are a lot of success stories out there and I'm sure the end game will be worth the effort.

Have you had a date for your lap yet? x

[Setayharas]

Thank you both for the replies, no I haven't got a date yet was told the waiting list was about 3 months so shouldn't be too long.

I'm so terrible at asking the questions I need to ask when I get into an appointment so fiancé is helping me write a list of things to ask, due is defiantly on there.

I seem to have days where I'm over the moon that doctors are finally listening then anger that it's taken so long.

Thanks again for letting me vent, glad I found this place

[lillyflower]

I've found venting keeps me sane!! I'm glad you have support and writhing a list is a great idea as it's easy to forget things once your in with the doctor. Having the dye done same time as lap is good idea as you can have it when awake but iI know I'd rather be asleep!

I chased the hospital and got a slightly earlier appointment by saying I'd take any last minute cancellations so was about 2 month wait rather than 3. Good luck hope you get appointment soon x