I was diagnosed with Endo in 2004 aged 22 after nearly 10 years of problems. Since then I've developed what's probably ME and could be lupus - waiting to see a rheumatologist - plus I've had to give up on my career and spend most of my life housebound. I'm on over 600mg of morphine a day and most of my pain is nerve damage so untreatable. A two year course of zoladex that ended four years ago has left me with major hormonal problems which I still don't understand, hasn't been investigated and I don't know if it will ever improve. I'm trying to run my own business and it's pretty much failing. My life is a total mess.
My mother has gotten into alternative therapies and is a practitioner of all kinds of things. She believes that my difficult childhood has caused all my current problems and that all the stress has destroyed my immune system. She honestly believes that my health problems could all be fixed by changing the way I think.
I've always ignored her because I don't believe in alternative therapies - maybe I believe in accupuncture and homeopathy but tried those and they did nothing. I don't believe that things like NLP, bi-aura etc work really. I'm also sick of trying things and hoping they work when nothing does - I can't let myself put anymore faith into something and be let down again.
Thing is, right now, I'm in a bad way. I'm 31 and my life is devoid of anything exciting. I've had to give up on every ambition, and she's starting to get to me. I've started to think about what it would be like to be well again and have my energy back and maybe have a life again - but thinking like that scares me because I know that it's nigh on impossible.
What do you think? Should I spend my money and my very limited energy pursuing things I don't believe in, or should I just accept that this is my life and that it's not ever going to get any better?