Should I listen to my mother?

I was diagnosed with Endo in 2004 aged 22 after nearly 10 years of problems. Since then I've developed what's probably ME and could be lupus - waiting to see a rheumatologist - plus I've had to give up on my career and spend most of my life housebound. I'm on over 600mg of morphine a day and most of my pain is nerve damage so untreatable. A two year course of zoladex that ended four years ago has left me with major hormonal problems which I still don't understand, hasn't been investigated and I don't know if it will ever improve. I'm trying to run my own business and it's pretty much failing. My life is a total mess.

My mother has gotten into alternative therapies and is a practitioner of all kinds of things. She believes that my difficult childhood has caused all my current problems and that all the stress has destroyed my immune system. She honestly believes that my health problems could all be fixed by changing the way I think.

I've always ignored her because I don't believe in alternative therapies - maybe I believe in accupuncture and homeopathy but tried those and they did nothing. I don't believe that things like NLP, bi-aura etc work really. I'm also sick of trying things and hoping they work when nothing does - I can't let myself put anymore faith into something and be let down again.

Thing is, right now, I'm in a bad way. I'm 31 and my life is devoid of anything exciting. I've had to give up on every ambition, and she's starting to get to me. I've started to think about what it would be like to be well again and have my energy back and maybe have a life again - but thinking like that scares me because I know that it's nigh on impossible.

What do you think? Should I spend my money and my very limited energy pursuing things I don't believe in, or should I just accept that this is my life and that it's not ever going to get any better?

5 Replies

  • I believe that life can be better... we should never accept that things will always stay the same.

    Personally I would give it a try if your in a position to do so. But you are you so only you can make this decision


  • I do understand your point but it's difficult - I used to have a lot of hope and energy to pursue every option. Having exhausted all my medical ones, and some alternative ones too, I had to accept things as they are, because carrying on and believing that things could change then having things stay the same destroyed me mentally. At some point, I had to stop and try to make the most of what I could do rather than waste the little energy I had on things that were pointless.

    I'm really torn now - I don't know if I can go through all that again, and I don't even believe it could work, but I've let her get to me and believe I'm missing an opportunity to get my life back.

    I don't know - my head is a bit wrecked, to be honest.

  • Hi cupcake girl, i am very much into alternative therapies and have been advised that holding onto traumas over the years can result into physical pain and i personally believe that this is what has caused my Endo.

    Reiki healers can send healing to the past to heal your emotions at the time of the event - hard to get your head around i know! I had it done a few weeks ago and i felt really different afterwards - in a good way - and then i stupidly started taking cezarette a week later and the tablets have made me so poorly that i am back to square one....ive come off the tablets and am waiting for them to come out of my system and then gonna concentrate on the healing.


  • My doctor recommended lightning treatment to me a few weeks ago when we decided I most likely have chronic fatigue syndrome. Im not convinced but reading the book has helped me refocus my mind on the positives. I still sat up the other night crying my heart out to my hubby that my career is most likely over and how unfair it all is but sometimes it feels good to cry and not bottle it all up.

    How long did you try acupuncture for?? I ask cos I just started last week and did feel much happier afterwards but the pain came back after 4 days. Fatigue went no where!!

    Like you im desperate and will try anything tho myself and my husband have decided kids are a no no. Im way to sick to look after myself never mind a child and im under no illusions its gonna get better and will in fact get worse over the years.

    Anyways on that cheerful note keep us posted on what you decide to do.

  • Oh you should never listen to your mother btw.

    Mine tells me to have babies cos its what she wants, she also told me when I was in agony every period as a teenager it couldn't be that bad and agreed with the doctors it was all in my head. She soon learned when she developed fibroids how bad period pain can be.

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