Im tired, im really, really tired. I've always been quite a strong person, well let's not say strong because that's not entirely true. I've been a complete mess when it comes to pain but the emotional side of things I've been able to handle really well, that is until today. I don't even know where to start but let's try from here.. I had my second laparoscapy on the 6th April, endometriosis was found all over my ovaries, womb etc . so the endo was lasered off. This time it was worse than the first time, when it was only found on my left ovary. So anyway, the couple weeks leading up to the op my two best friends were very supportiveand uunderstanding that I was petrified. But then things changed, it seems that they think just because the op is over that I should be jumping about pain free swinging from the lights and what not. When in reality I'm crippled still. I cant even stand upright, I look like the hunchback of notredamme (not sure of spelling) when I walk. One friend keeps asking if she can come over so we can hang out, truth it I don't want to see her, all I want is my amazing fiancee and my mum. We thought two weeks would be enough for me to get back on my feet so my dad took the first week off work to look after me and my fiancee took the 2nd week off. We are now into week three and im no better, as I said.. So my partners brother has had to make the 40 minute drive for three days just to come and take my dog out cos I can't do it. Tomorrow my partners mum is coming to "babysit" me. If she wasn't to do that I'd be alone from 6am-9pm as partner has overtime at work then a meeting after which can't be canceled. My mum and dad are away on holiday this week and will be back Friday night. I cant wait!! I miss them so much. So yeah, mum in law to be is coming tomorrow as I was saying, im really worried about it though, although she is one of the people who have been here almost all the way through and totally understands, I feel like I won't be able to stay awake to talk to her and I dont want her to be bored. What do I do? I do really need her here with me. Today I have completely broke down, I have cried so much and my amazing fiancee has been perfect. I feel awful that he is having to do everythingII for me. I feel awful that my brother in law had to come to walk my dog three days in a row. I feel awful that my mother in law is having to babysit me and do the dog duties tomorrow. What if I break down the in front of her? I'm lost. My friends are being completely rubbish at the time I need them most and my mum n dad aren't here. I just dont know what to do. And now I'm thinking that anyone reading this will be bored to death and thinking what the hell is wrong with this girl . sorry it has been a long post and its completely all over the place and probaby makes no sense but please, if anyone can help me to stop feeling so sad please do. Xxx
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