Why does everything I do cause stress and anxiety?

[Golfer15]

I have just come back from a few days away as it is school holiday. We decided to travel by train as driving causes me stress - my wife and I usually end up arguing over directions. Airports give me stress as they are so busy. So we didnt go abroad - I prefer Britain anyway. I had all the times sorted out for the trains but when we got to the station early this morning on our return trip, my teenage son suggested that if we run we could get an earlier train. Needless to say that we missed that train and I was told it was my fault - or thats how I felt.

I feel that everything that goes wrong is my fault like when we arrived at the hotel on Monday the view out of the room was bad. I asked to be moved. As I had booked the room I felt it was my fault that the view was bad.

I hate feeling like this and I feel everyone is out to catch me out, as well as blaming me for everything. I know this isn't true as a good CBT rule is to look for the evidence of this fact.

When I cant find evidence it doesn't really make me feel better.

How do I overcome this and start feeling good about myself?

[Jeffju]

You just believe it does, we always like to look at the worst scenario, don't we. I am sure it was not all your fault really, these things just happen.You have to look at the positive things that happened. I expect if you look back on your day out you will be able to see some positives there. You can hardly expect to know the view out of a room if you have never been there, not your fault, just bad luck.The big thing is that you made the effort to take your kids out, something that isn't easy for you and you all got home safely. Big plus and pat on the back for you.Be kind to yourself...... s--t sometimes happens but it's not your fault. All the very best. xx

[Golfer15 in reply to Jeffju]

Thanks Jeffju I think I am too hard on myself sometimes. Just had heated discussion this morning with my wife about how much money we spent whilst we were away. I felt that was all my fault. Of course it wasnt and when I suggested that to my wife she told me not to be silly.

Thanks for the encouragement. I assume you suffer from anxiety therefore you know what it is like. My wife doesnt really understand, although she tries.

[coatpin]

Well it could be the depression thats making you feel like this, and also howyou were parented as a child. Go see a counsellor and talk about how you have been feeling.

You may have to see your gp to have meds,,, or have them increased,,

good luck.

[Jeffju]

Yes, I do suffer from anxiety and depression so know how you feel. As I said, we always seem to see the worst side of everything and it would be so good to see the positives more. I am very good at giving advice.... NOW I need to listen to some myself!! That's the hard part. All the very best. xx P. S. My husband is very supportive but has a strong willpower and thinks I should be doing better... oh to be like him.

[Golfer15]

Yes I agree that we are good at giving advice but not following it ourselves. My wife is good but doesnt really understand why I get so irratable. Depression affects me in so many ways and feeling fed up and useless is quite common in my life. I have coping strategies but they don't always work. We have to take life one day at a time and look for the things that give us a bit of pleasure. Good to chat to you.

David