What am I doing with my life?

i graduated in the summer and after a bit of travelling I moved into a house in a new city with a friend who already lived there. I got a bar job with the intention to get a better job in the near future but ive been here nearly five months now and I'm absolutely miserable. I love the people I live with but the job is awful. I volunteer in a youth offenders residential home which I love but am finding it hard to search for paid work in this field due to the hours I am put in at work (57 hours!! Plus) it makes me feel useless and has shattered my confidence. I feel like the manager favours many people over me even though they are incapable of simple tasks and never gives me time off. I asked for Sunday's off so I could go home more frequently and he literally ignored me. My motivation is at an all time low. I have cried every day at work this week but do not have the confidence to apply for the jobs I want to do.


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2 Replies

  • It's not normal to cry daily at work, no matter how disenchanted you are after 5 months. Please see a doctor about depression if you can't make a job change that's uplifting for you. Do you have the courage to go back to your supervisor with your firm request for Sundays off? You absolutely need this change. Allowing this supervisor to ignore you should not happen. Can you stand firm until you have the answer you need? Your supervisor has you pegged as someone he or she can push around. Is that how you want to be treated?

    Can you get a different job with a better supervisor? You should never cry at work if at all possible because other people will see it as weakness and are likely to take advantage of you because of this perceived weakness. Save your tears for after work if you can. Your job is a downer for you. Either change jobs or get treated for depression by a doctor. If you change jobs and the depression isn't gone in 3-4 months, seek treatment anyway.

    You could also benefit greatly from counseling. Ask around for a good counselor. Often they work on sliding scales if money is a problem. A good counselor is worth a fortune in gold and you really need one. I absolutely love mine. Give him/her a few appointments before you decide you could be a good match. Take care of yourself.

  • You have the tools to move on, you are bright and the work you are doing is well below your capabilities

    When I was at college I would have to work in the Summer to finance my course. I worked selling carpets and when I sold anything they would not give me my commission, they had me working without pay and one night even had my friends giving a hand sad to say those friendships failed.

    To be honest I was very young and to trusting, I did not know about my commision until the last two weeks of recess.

    All I can suggest is that you look for something better even if you need to use an agency or contact Local/Central government for a possible posting so you have the time to look for a job you want to do and trained for, it takes time.

    Personally it sounds like you are being used and there also could be some resentment of you and your qualifications. You need to move on as fast as you can.

    Talk to your GP, personally you seem to be in a soul destroying position, I am serious in saying medications may not be given straight away here although of course the GP will decide on that. It is just because the situation you find yourself in could be rectified by changing your employment , medications will just dull you down over time and I feel that could be counterproductive, as that is what happened to me and I became a whipping boy for all and sundry

    I am always around here to chat, i went through the same thing and I always wish that I worked out this same problem in a different way without relying on a medical cosh

    Good Luck


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