Loneliness or clinical depression?

I am 75 years old and have always been sentimental and emotional but, in my 60's I was diagnosed with anxiety depression. I have been taking Sertrline ever since and had the dose increased about a year ago. The thing is that, in spite of that, I spend most mornings crying non-stop. I recover as the day goes on but it recurs the next morning. Why am I so sad when I am still onthe medication?

There is another factor to consider too: my oldest, dearest friend passed away in March. She has been like a sister to me since we were twelve years old. I can't believe she's gone. Also, another close friend has left the area to live elsewhere. I feel bereft and lonely. My parents are long gone and my hubby died in 2006.

I wish I knew whether my depression is back or whether I'm just grieving.

I need someone who understands to talk to. I cannot burden my sons with this.

8 Replies

  • Hi there and welcome to this Forum, I am really sorry that your feeling so

    Sad and lonely. I feel I can understand how you feel.

    Losing a close friend would make most of us sad even if we had never

    Been depressed. Grief is a process you have to go through and it does take

    Time, you can't hurry it, but if you were still feeling like this in a few months ,

    Then your grief if not resolved could turn into Depression.

    Depression is a stage of grief and you will hopefully in time move from this

    Stage to an acceptance of your friends death.

    Unfortunately as we get older we encounter more loss in our lives . I am

    Sixty six myself and have also had a few losses in the last while.

    I can understand you dont want to burden your son but I'm sure he would

    Understand if you told him how you feel, talking out how you feel will help

    You and eventually you will look back on the great friendship you had, oh you

    Will always miss your friend but the pain does lessen in time.

    What interests do you have? Or do you go out to visit anyone during the week,

    Even going to church will help if you are a believer, this will make you feel


    Some types of Depression are worse during the morning, I used to feel

    Worse first thing . I think a visit to your GP would help too, even though

    There is no pill for grief or loss, it's part of life.

    Please stick around here and you will feel part of this group , you will

    Get to know us and have a laugh too. Most of all take good care of yourself and

    Maybe make a nice photo book of your late friend and yourself. I think the first

    Six months after a death can be incredibly difficult. I found this and I kept

    Bursting into tears for no reason, so know that what your going through is

    Normal and will in time improve .

    Let me know how you are as I am usually around every day. I know my answer

    Is a bit all over the place.

    Hannah x

  • I thank you so very much for your reply. This is what I need so badly--to speak to someone who understands what I'm going through. My sons are the best I could wish for. They are identical twins now in their 40's and we are very close. It's just that they are a different generation and so do not share the old memories with me. They have their own lives and I wouldn't wish to sadden them on my account.

    I have a little dog--a Bichon Frise-- whom I love to bits. She is very affectionate towards me and we go for walks on the beach regularly.

    My interests are gardening, dancing, reading, astronomy, interior design--although the dancing has stopped but I was still rocking and rolling at The British Legion every Saturday night till I was 66.

    This is the afternoon now so I am perking up a bit due in no small measure to your connection with me. Myra.

  • We all suffer the worry of our own mortality, especially when our partner in live dies and we are left with friends who eventually die before us. When I was diagnosed with a chronic condition in the late seventies I personally thought I would be one of the first to throw of this mortal coil. Of course life does not work that way, as natures way depends on weaknesses that have formed way back in our late twenties. Sad we have no way to know what age will bring us, we have too take what is given to us we sadly have no say in the matter, that is the problem of life and death.

    With your Husband it seems?, That He may have died before or just after retirement, this can be very hard as we all plan for a future time where we can spend time together and get to know each other a new. This brings memories of youth and the things you would have done together as our working lives make us grow slightly apart. As we begin to start families and possibly have to work, each during long days for money to support an extended family.

    As we get older children leave have their own families and we always hope that we both can react with a further generation.

    My retirement is now in sight, My health is poor and both of us are having twinges that are the result of old age, we wonder if the plans we made can be fulfilled. If one of us die that is all our plans die and we need to consider a different course of action.

    Over the last three months I have been trying to trace old friends from my childhood and teens, I am not fortunate at that and have drew more blanks than anything else. You have been fortunate that you have managed to keep people around you who know your ways and You as they have watched and taken the good and smooth, not forgetting any miseries you may have suffered through the decades. That must be a great comfort, as you get older. Friendships like these are rare and over time become not only so wonderful, also beneficial when we need that companionship.

    When I consider above it seems you have had a husband who stayed with you and children who would have reinforced the love you had between each other. You have had friends who are from your past, and have been able to watch each others lives progress through youth and old ages, relationships like gems that have lite your way through lives tests over time.

    All I can really say is that you have had a full life and we all need to understand that people are called from this existence and we have no way to prevent that. It is the lesson of life and under those circumstances we may disagree with any outcomes. We cannot do anything to change those decisions from higher plains.

    The test is how are you to pass through your remaining years when we are alone.

    You are lucky you have sons that are there for you in your remaining years. Also you have many memories from past decades that should help you grieve the losses you have suffered, you are not alone and many people on site have suffered a loss and know the grief we all feel when someone we love goes to the next part of living that awaits for us all.

    Be kind with yourself, try and live what remains of your life remember all gone before will most probably be expecting that of you


  • Hello and thank you for your reply. Many people never suffer from depression and I believe it is hereditary. Fear has a great deal to do with mine. My mother was on tranquilisers for years before she died. Some people can cope but some cannot.

    My husband and I were childhood sweethearts. He was the only man I ever loved. Sadly, in later life, he became an alcoholic and the man I depended on emotionally disappeared. We stayed together for 20 years of marriage and my heart broke every day. I suspect my present depression is the result of shattered dreams and long term sadness. Alcoholism takes away the very qualities you love about a person.

  • I have had sorrows in my life and particularly depressed 8 years ago when my little kitty came into my life and helped me to feel life was worth living, and more to the point, that I was worth something, if only as a carer to her. But I do agree, directly and for some time after losing someone close, it will take time to recover. Great previous replies by the way.

  • Pets can be a great comfort in times of stress. I've had many pet cats in my time and loved them all dearly. They have all gone now but I still have my little dog, Chica.

  • Hi sound so like your going through both depression And loss. I must say being on here is a great place just to offload but more importantly that your recognising you mental state. I right daily prescriptions to myself ie I'm prescribing a be kind to myself for 1 hour , or 30 mins reading a favourite book, but the key is you must write it down try and stick it . ..... I find it helps dealing day to day feelings of low moods or extreme periods of depression .... . Stay blessed

  • I appreciate your response. Thank you so much.

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