Can't seem to get myself out of depression

Everything seems to be heading downwards, health wise I'm been diagnosed with a condition that is in curable. I don't have any friends anymore the seem to have all deserted me ( probably as a result of my behavior.) a good relationship I have is on the verge of break up. My family don't want anything to do with me. How worse can it get. Suicide is an option but knowing my luck that won't even go right for me. I'll probably end up causing more harm to myself. I'm cracking up here. I really don't know what to do.


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14 Replies

  • So sorry to hear how bad you are feeling and I am also sorry to hear you are suffering from some thing that is incurable. Have you been given any support from the doctors regarding your condition? Can it be controlled in any way? If they haven't given you any support, then might I suggest go pop in to see your gp and ask if he/she can help in any way, at least giving you some support guidance?

    its not easy when you are suffering from something, amd now is a time when you need support from anyone. You say your family don't want anything to do with you because of this or somehing else? If they know that your behaviour is a result of your medical condition do you think they may be more understanding? Have you been able to discuss it at all with them?

    if you really are feeling that bad, please don't go down the road of suicide. I know sometimes it feels the only solution, but there are oher ways around this. There are the Samaritans, maybe you could talk to them, but this community will also give you a lot of support, trust me, you are not alone. Post on here when you get those feelings of lonliness, and I can guarantee you will get some responses. We are all here for different reasons, but we all have one major thing in common, and that is the feeling of depression. This community is a great one and you've come to the right place for some, support and just to have a moan etc., but please seriously try and see your doctor and get him to guide you as to what is best to do for your particular requirements. Remember, we on here can help to just chat and advise but we are not qualified professionals, does that make any sense?

    I really do hope you start to feel better and of your condition worsens contact your gp.

    take care.xx

  • Thanks for responding to my cry for help. The truth if it all is I really don't know where to start from. My GP who I feel should be stricken off personally I always end up feeling more depressed after seeing her. My family though I'm too blame but I just don't want to start to nudie the past I'd rather forget about it. My relationship that I felt was about the only thing that kept me going has crashed. My friends well I think it's safer to be on your own, not exactly positive. I tried counseling you just feel good maybe for the session, then reality of life sets in, and you are back to square one. The job market sees you as incompetent, society helps you feel even worse than you are. I used to think that people who wanted to commit suicide had lost it, now I see why, but as I said I'm even too scared to do that because knowing my luck will end of bitching it up, and being in an even worse situation than I already am. It won't work in my case, anyway I'll figure it out someway, if you don't hear from me well take it that it has worked. Thanks again

  • Hey... sorry I've not responded until now..I've not been able to get online. Why do you think your gp thinks you should be struck off?.. is it because you go to her regularly, or is it that she feels you are not trying to help yourself?... whichever it is, that is not a reason for her to think you should be stuck off!! I can honestly relate to the so called "friendship" lark... when you are ill and you need them most, you always know exactly who your real friends are.. or should I say are not!. You say you have tried counselling and for that session it felt good, but after its basically **it?!... Unfortunately, counselling is only a "stop by" so to speak and like you say reality sets back in, and its back to square one, so perhaps you can see if there are other ways of combating this other than just counselling? I honestly fully understand how you are feeling, as I too feel the same way too many times that I can recount. If I am honest, I have found this site to be the most helpful, but its still not quite enough, and I am now looking to seek further help. I have heard that cognitive behavioural therapy is supposed to be good (I think its called that!), have you tried that?

    I know you feel that things can't get any better, but they will... unfortunately its not an overnight success, it takes time and effort.There are several people on here that understand how you are feeling and are also going through similar situations. The one thing I really don't want is to not hear from you especially when you are talking of suicide, so please if the worst comes to the worst and you can't speak to anyone else, please call the Samaritans and also think about trying to find a different GP who is a lot more understanding.


  • When you say it's incurble, do you mean it's terminal or a condition that you'll have forever? I'm so sorry that things are so tough for you at the moment. It's especially hard when you feel that friends are not there for you. Friendship is a two way thing and requires effort on both parts. Sometimes I feel cross at my friends for not keeping in touch, then I remind myself that I haven't initiated contact either! Could you drop them a text or a Facebook message? It could well be that they're thinking the same. That feeling that life can't get any worse is an awful one; I've been there lots of times. But just remember, if it can't get worse, it can only get better x

  • Can it get any worse than it is? I don't think so. The question you asked its a condition that will be with me for life, Medically no cure and I just seem to be getting worse slowly, so maybe I should just help speed it up.

  • Hello, I care about you, even though i haven't laid my eyes on you. I feel a connection with you. Some consolation would be the fact that we both feel the same, only that i haven't got ur in curable condition. My motto was 'When there is life there is hope", so as long as you are alive you can make a change even the slightest to improve on you and your present situation. Always know that your never alone in your situation. There is always somebody or people that have it worst! Those friends that left you are not worthy of being called friends because if they were they'd still be around..(through thick and thin) helping you overcome your battles. Friends?? where are they really at.

    i wish you all the best hope my advice help.

    lv coko

  • Oh this sounds so awful! I know how you feel about the friends having deserted you! Unfortunately I learnt they aren't your 'real' friends, I do have a few good ones, that have stuck around me, which is nice and helpful. Don't worry about your friends - think about yourself and what's good for you!

    Don't give up, by committing suicide, don't give anyone the satisfaction, I haven't been this deep yet, I'm too scared of pain and ending it all (kind of cowardly I guess), but I'll try with advice anyway, try focusing on what will make you happy, just start with small things, like painting your nails, or taking a really nice hot bubbly bath. Little things work great to start off with.

    I'm sorry about the boyfriend, me and mine went through a rough time too, we're starting to get it all back together now, have you told him how you feel? Maybe he can look up how to help you online or talking to someone about it (my boyfriend did this and it helped him understand me more), but then again if you feel he isn't right for you maybe consider moving on? Just think it through first, nothing worse then making a huge mistake with how your feeling now.

    Don't worry about the family, my dad has completely cut me out of his life, and tbh I'm glad, and it was mutual, he was dragging me down and making me worse. I had to start thinking about me, and proving him wrong! Doesn't mean that's it though, maybe just take a break from everyone? You can always come back and explain everything when you feel better.

    Hope I've helped a little,

    Hang in there.



  • Have you tried checking out support groups for your condition, whatever it is. I'm sure there will be one out there and that there will be people you can talk to who are going through and who have been through exactly what you are going through. It is very difficult coming to terms with something that is presumably changing your life and seemingly forcing you to go in directions that you never expected to go.

    Just about everyone in this community is going to recognise the thoughts and fears around suicide. I get black periods where I would really like to not exist and never have existed but what stops me from suicide is the thought that someone would have to find what was left and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Thoughts of death and suicide are a natural (though very unpleasant) part of being depressed ... not sure there are any nice bits :)

    Have you thought about changing your GP? If they really aren't helping you then it may be time to find one that does help you.

  • Thanks all for your contributions, at least I'm still here. I really can't say what I will do next because I really cannot focus on anything right now. Let's see what happens but right now there is absolutely nothing to live for. If u don't hear from me again well, I wish you all success to overcome your trials and tribulations.

  • There are things for you to live for but you just can't see them at the moment. This is what depression does to you - robs you of everything that seems worthwhile when you are not ill but which seem nothing when you are. It also stops you thinking calmly and rationally. I know because I get like that too. If you can recognise this you can then hold on to the hope of getting better, You will get through this dark spell. Don't make any decisions while you feel like this please. Put off the thoughts of suicide. Say to yourself - I am not going to kill myself today. And do it every day until you start to recover a bit. This helps me. Thinking of you.

    Bev x

  • Hi

    You have a lot to cope with. I wonder do you have support? It is hard enough for anyone to cope with an incurable disease but also coping when depressed becomes impossible and it sounds as though you are feeling almost overwhelmed. You need to grieve for yourself and finding someone to do that with may help, so you might ask your GP to refer you to a counsellor, alternately ask the social worker from the hospital where you were diagnosed. I will also be thinking of you.


  • Thanks everyone for being there for me in my darkest hour, well I'm still here. Though I came close though. Just placed the pills and looked at them all night, just could not sleep. The one good thing I did have my relationship is well and truly over just clearly refused to acknowledge any of my messages and calls, that's what has pushed me almost over the edge. Just cannot seem to get the person out of my head. Clearly he continued to buttress how insecure I was, my fault as usual. Clearly he could see how I was cracking up.

    Can't seem to see past my issues, I've lost about 5kg In two days, perpetually lost my appetite no need for a diet, it's maxing how stress makes one lose weight. I am having a twisted stomach feeling all the time.

    When will this end? If I could see someone to poison me or shoot me and not make a mistake I would gladly pay the person. Another night if staring at the ceiling again.

  • Hi everybody I'm still standing for me that's a good step in the right directionMy ex called me and we discussed more about other things really, it felt really wired though, but at least we communicated I don't really know whether that's a bad thing or not. I apologized though he was still vague so I dont know what to think to be honest. He exact words were he loved me but I can really piss him off sometimes. Since then he doesn't communicate with me as he used to, and he hasn't told me he loved me again. It hurts like hell but I don't know what to do. Help me out here

  • you sound like you need a hug x sending one million hope one might come in helpful! So sorry that things are so shite for you x x x x

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