Coming out of the closet

All my resolutions to start to do the 10K bridge this year were broken by mid- January. By the end of the month, Mum had passed away leaving Dad in an emotional heap and as I ran round in circles like a headless chicken, I did try to keep on running 3 x a week. Then about a fortnight ago I got a sudden temperature, felt like a human excrement but no other symptoms. This was quickly followed by another bout of similar sickness. Needless to say I am very run down. Didn't want to go public about all this, but maybe I should! A bit of therapy and encouragement from you lot can only do me good. Ran this morning like death warmed up, but I did it. As Laura says, a bad run is better than no run at all. Looking forward to your encouraging comments, Delia PS It is spring here at last!


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41 Replies

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  • So sorry to hear your sad news, Delia. With your own health problems at the moment I would just use your running as therapy; don't think about time, distance or speed when you run but use it as the place you can quietly gather your thoughts and slowly move forward. Thinking of you and wishing you well.

  • Thanks PeaBea, I already feel better this morning! Just got dressed and have lost a chain off one of my boots -- that's how bad my head has become! how on earth can you lose a bit of a boot for crying out loud :-D

  • Is that the chain that ties you to the kitchen sink? lol

  • No it was a kind of Kinky but classy chain on a very expensive pair od designer boots grrrrrrrrr

  • Sorry to hear life is tough at the moment and that your run down, hope the run helped but also a little worried you may hurt yourself if you're not well, but ur the best judge for that. Take care and I hope u start to heal as spring gets underway :-)

  • Thanks Phil, all will pass eventually :-)

  • Sorry to hear your sad news. My advice is to be very kind to yourself and take it easy with life & with your runs. I went thru' a similar scenario with my parents a couple of years ago. I'd been their main carer, Dad had dementia - it was a nightmare. The worst time I found was about 3 to four months after my Mum died. I was a mental & physical wreck and it took some time to come out of that.

    From speaking with others its very common to have a delayed reaction. So do be careful, dont push yourself too hard as you've enough to deal with just now. Maybe just keep up your runs but not push yourself physically. Also indulge yourself - do something lovely for you and do it on a regular basis - whether its buying flowers or expensive body lotion for those post run showers! Its so easy to concentrate on everyone else and forget yourself, but you're the one that keeps everyone going. Take care, Jx

  • Thanks jenniej! I have booked in for a facial and a massage at a beauty parlour next week -- howzzat?

  • Perfect ! What a great combination of things. Enjoy, Jx

  • Hope you're feeling better today, Delia! I love Jennie's ideas about spoiling yourself - and let's face it, our families are often too involved in their own lives to keep on spoiling Mum as often as she deserves!

    I'll send you some virtual flowers too!

    The snow's melting here now too, and the snowdrops are peeking up and so are the crocuses.

    You take care! xx

  • Snow has melted here too -- yesterday was a glorious sunny day. Bleak today again.

    Thank you for the flowers -- off to fetch a vase ;-)

  • Delia! big hugs.

    such a lot to deal with emotionally and now you're physically not well. Not surprised really.

    but like you say, spring has sprung!! hooray!! (im not even wearing my thermal vest so thats a good sign!)

    a bad run is definitely better than no run at all, but maybe give yourself a break after all that you've been through and go take a long walk out to find a lovely little eatery (and drinkery). Take jennie's advice - treat yourself. Then get back out there my lovely!!

    alix :-)

  • I will Alix -- just talking and your responses are such a great help! Thanks.

  • Warm best wishes. You are the best judge of what you can manage but my only thought would be to find the most beautiful place you can to run or walk - whichever feels best for you right now.

  • Plenty of those round here! Thanks :-)

  • More hugs from me Delia ((( ))) :)

    So sorry to hear your sad news and I am not surprised you are run down; you have had it tough.

    I know you relish your runs for some "me" time so try and keep that up, even if its a short one, and as you say spring is nearly here which will help cheer you up I'm sure. :) I think Jennie's advice is spot on... look after yourself Delia.

    Sue xox

  • Hi there Sue! Thanks, I will :-)

  • Stress & grief can be a very physical thing, you've been through the wringer recently Delia - sending postive thoughts your way. You are a strong lady & will come through this in time, be kind to yourself. :-)

  • I'm trying hard and will do it!

  • (((((Delia))))) You've currently experiencing a lot of emotional strain; I can understand you being emotionally and physically very run down and more liable to unexplained sickness.

    As Sue says, do try to find a little time to fit in short runs, to give you a little time for you. You know it will help your physical health and, hopefully, your metal health too.

    Keep look forward. As you say, spring is springing slowly and the warmer weather will make stepping outside in your running gear all the more inviting. If you keep your fitness base when the longer, warmer days do come, hopefully you may be able to enjoy a few longer runs.

    Take care of you; as a friend says, you're the only DeliaItaly we've got! xxx

  • Indeed my dear Swan, what would you all do without me? xoxoxox Delia

  • Echo everything that's been said Delia. So sorry to hear about your Mum. You've had such a lot to cope with, it's no wonder you're feeling low. And I absolutely agree with Jennie about taking a little time for yourself, no matter what form it takes. You can get so busy tearing around looking after everyone else that you (and they) forget you need a bit of looking after as well.

    Sending love and {{{hugs}}}


  • Thank you dear Dottie :-)

  • I can only offer virtual hugs, Delia. (((Hugs)) As the others have expressed, this is a difficult time emotionally and physically. Everyone grieves at a different pace, just as we run. Give yourself time to process everything and be kind to yourself. Steve and I have both experienced the caregiving and death of parents, so our hearts are with you. Please know you can come here and get support and I would dare to say you don't even need to discuss running if you don't want to. :-) Gayle

  • Thing is, I don't have time to grieve as I have Dad to care for. Maybe that's a good thing. Thanks Gayle!

  • Delia, sorry to hear about your loss, it has affected you both emotionally and physically as these things do. But you know getting back out there again can be a source of benefit to you. However, you need to take it easy and go way back to some nice easy jogs to gently ease yourself back in again and to take great comfort from them.

    I have been struggling a bit too, did week 5run 1 twice over and enjoyed it. Felt more postive I had not lost my sparkle

    You just need a wee boost and you know all your friends are going to be behind you. Please don't think you can't share this with us all, as we are all here to support each other, not just through those hard slogs, runs and achievments but for everthing else in life that impacts on us too. we are a great community.

  • A truly great community. When I get through all this crap we need to arrange a mega-run together!

  • Hi there delia so very sorry to hear the sad news of the loss of your mother and you being so poorly, but you must look after yourself as all these lovely people on this community say. So chin up and look to the future. Lots of((( hugs))) Pat

  • Cheers Pat!

  • So sorry to hear just how tough things are for you still - you have been under so much stress for a long time. Do take care of yourself in whatever way helps, and be gentle on yourself. (((Hugs)))

  • Thank you greenlegs!

  • Xxxx Losing a mum is hard. :-( Think of how you would help a friend in the same situation and be kind! Hug yourself. It takes time. A long time. But it does improve. Xxx

  • Thank you !

  • Grief and the aftermath of what sounds like an emotionally though time have probably left you exhausted. These intermittent temperatures may be your body's way of letting you know that the physical and emotional stress have understandably taken their toll. I think you are remarkable to be reaching out and trying to keep moving forward, this tells us that you will definitely get there Delia but try not to rush things and allow the necessary healing to take place. The advice on here is perfect I think, to be gentle with yourself but keep running as that seems to be a time when you really connect with yourself. Like others have said though perhaps shorter jogs which will invigorate rather than tire you.

    When my Dad passed away in complicated circumstances, the best advice I received was to hold on tight and not let go. I was in a really bad way for a long time but I never forgot this advice and bit by bit I got there.

    As an Holistic therapist I recommend natures remedies to be a great source of support during these times, though they are not right for everyone. If you feel so inclined do some research into Bach flower remedies which can be added to your water and taken gently throughout the day. Also essential oils are wonderful and can be added to almond, olive or any other base oils to make a wonderful post run body oil that will soothe, heal and balance on many levels. There are so many complementary therapies, if you do decide to look into that route just find what sings to you the loudest as those will be the ones for you. Reiki can also be very supportive with feelings of being 'stuck'. You may already be doing these things or they may not be right for you but I hope you don't mind the suggestions.

    Huge hugs and lots of support coming your way Delia......

    Jems x

  • Yes I am very much into Bach remedies and am on Star of Bethlehem right now although I'm thinking of adding Pine and Honeysuckle too. Initially I was also taking ignatia to help me sleep. We seem to be on the same wavelength! thanks Jems :-)

  • Hello Delia,

    Sorry I'm tagging on the end here. I'm very sorry to hear that things aren't really improving yet - the last thing you need is illness but as you said, I'm sure you're very run down by everything. Here we have a lovely sunny day today - a sign that one day spring will be with us eventually. There are lots of early daffodils - they are a flower that I really missed when I lived in America and now my desk is never without a bunch when they are in season.

    I can definitely sympathise with the amount of paperwork needed having been there myself almost 10 years ago now. All you can do is take it gradually, one thing at a time, making SURE to look after yourself on the way - eating, sleeping, exercising etc as you feel able.

    Keep checking in with all your friends here - there's always someone around to send virtual flowers, hugs, or whatever support is needed.

    Ann x

  • Big hugs from me too! So sorry to hear you're going through such tough times. Just be gentle with yourself and I absolutely agree with all the others' suggestions about treats for yourself. Spring coming will hopefully help too - seeing the signs of returning life and colour are very posiitive and reassuring. As Gayle (I think ) said, you can come and offload here and be with friends - no need to even allude to running. Love, Sue x

  • Mitts said, life is weird, you plod along for years and then hit a sort of life-and-death kind of precipice. Not nice but we've all been there and if we haven't been, we will.

    Am about to order a pair of very expensive flowery skinny jeans from "not my daughter's jeans" -- howzzat?

  • Very good indeed! One of the best follow-ones from taking up running is that buying and wearing jeans becomes normal, instead of something to be dreaded !

  • So sorry to hear this, Delia, and I'm not at all surprised you're feeling poorly. As everyone on here has said, be kind to yourself. We're all thinking of you and it would be lovely to hear from you, if not about running - but if you can get out there that's a treat as well, isn't it? I'm glad to see all the virtual hugs and some flowers as well :)

    Take care,

    Annie x

  • Here's another late one from me. Sorry to hear about all your news. None of it makes life any easier I know but getting out and doing even the odd 'bad' run might well help. Wish you well. James

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