Up early on Christmas morning for a short run - 20minutes or so - and a quick dip in pouring rain.
Getting dressed afterwards I realised that my newish running leggings, bought with great reluctance and at great expense in a sale, seemed to have disappeared and been replaced with a pair of bog standard cotton ones. I had no choice but to put them. All the way home a fierce argument raged between my favoured Pollyannaish, glass-half-full self and her glass-half-empty evil twin, who sees the bad in everyone.
Evil Twin: Bah Humbug! Well, that’s ruined my Christmas.
Pollyanna: Don’t be silly - it must have been an innocent mistake – you’ll get them back.
ET: Nonsense. No one could have confused a pair of mud-splattered, lycra leggings for a clean pair of cotton ones.
PA: Just put a notice up in the changing room and I’m sure you’ll get them back.
ET: I will, don’t worry… ‘If you were swimming at 9am on Christmas morning and thoughtlessly… ’
PA: You can’t write that – it was a mistake - they’ll probably be as fed up as you are when they get home and find out what they’ve done.
The two of them slugged it out, while I watched fascinated. Thank God for the Cognitive Behavioural Therapy that let me observe them so coolly.
They were still at it as I peeled off the imposter leggings in my bedroom.
ET: Huh – I’m not even going to wash them before I return then. If I ever get to return them, that is.
PA: Hang on – they’re from M&S – haven’t you got a pair like that?
PA: Is it possible that in your haste to go running this morning you put on the wrong leggings?
A quick rifle through the pile of discarded clothes on the floor revealed a pair of mud-splattered lycra leggings.
Pollyanna (triumphantly). I told you nothing ever gets stolen at the Ladies Pond.
Evil Twin: Bah. Humbug!
Pollyanna: God bless us, one and all.