Answer, because it could.
After my Jo Cool melt down last run out, I'd decided to change the app order on my phone and the phone placement on my bod.
That meant setting up music first, headphones second, C25K third and finally Map My Run. The thought being that if MMR was the last one used, then that would be the one on screen and hence unlikely to engage the pause button on Jo Cool. The next tweak would be to put the phone in my leggings leg pocket not in my running bra, meaning no room for boob interference.
That was the mental prep, the physical prep sorted, Mr JCR suggested a walk with Fibi Fardashian and Bobster the Monster to our local cafe, with the idea I could run back with some extra bits to make up the distance or time as necessary. Great idea I thought. I left them all at the cafe, set up the phone as per my mental prep and started out. Well what a shambles that was, straight away Jo Cool decided she wasn't going to work - maybe it was because she was being relegated to second place instead of first as she usually is?
I went pocket diving to see where I was on Map My Run and decided to wait until that clicked onto 5 minutes and started running when it said and not Jo Cool. Having said that I started off on my Top 3 Singles Playlist and Prince's Purple Rain came on, I love his purple highness and so whilst being a bit peeved about the apps, he gave me a good start down the hill.
Turning onto village via, I was passed by friends who tooted, always nice a little perk to keep you going. At this stage Jo told me I had just finished my warm up walk. Okay I had to relegate Jo to the back of my mind and listen instead to Mechanical Voice Lady, who does like giving me statistics I don't want to hear. She does insist on giving you comparisons which as Oldfloss always says is the thief of joy ( is it Old Floss's quote or someone else's?) - and then you realise how poor your standard is. MVL is a real killjoy not in the least encouraging unless you're a masochist.
Pootling along the bendy, scary road, I passed a man in headphones and carrying what looked to be a very dodgy item in his hand. Straightaway in my mind I was in the realms of horror slasher movies, it could be a knife, machete or worse still a chain saw, and nobody would understand why I went for a one way run, never to be seen again.
Overactive imagination JCR, it was a furled up umbrella, which to be fair is rare in these parts. All our Italian friends laugh at the English obsession with carrying umbrellas just in case. As they say it probably won't rain, and it usually doesn't, but he was carrying an umbrella that must mean I'm going to get wet....
So far the only rain had been Purple and the clouds were scudding away, leaving. rather gorgeous blue sky, at this stage Jo Cool had told me she'd be with me every step of the way, well she wasn't wrong it's just that she was about ten minutes behind me. I was trying to gauge the turnaround point and thought about running up the forbidden field, but at this point the lying croissant made its presence felt.
On the shelf it looked light, I didn't choose the custard one, the iced one, the chocolate one, the jam-filled one, I chose the empty one - the one that whispered it was as light as a feather. It lied, it was light when it was on the shelf, but it was weighing very heavily now - my amateur guess is approximately a metric tonne. The croissant bulge took one look at the forbidden field slope, and long grass and told me it was not going to happen. I'd like to say that bloody-mindedness took over, but I wimped out and thought I'd just continue on the bendy, scary road. My pace had dropped quite considerably as MVL delighted in telling me and I turned around once more to make it to the forbidden field. Run done, lesson learned - do not choose croissants as a pre-run warm up snack.
My warm down walk took me through the very long grass in the forbidden field and now I did get wet with totally soggy feet. At the top of the field I was met by a firmly insistent lady who told me that her father had decided the forbidden field was now forbidden to all, not just dog walkers, as they were having too many problems with public access to it. Fair enough it's their field not mine - so now it's totally forbidden, which at least means the croissant told the truth at one point - you definitely can't run up that field.
Jo Cool caught up with me on my warm down stretches - not sure what to do now, it's useful to track distance and time with Map My Run, and I've never liked running naked... My final music track was 'You've lost that loving feeling' , well I haven't but Jo seems to have gone off me.
Back to the drawing board to make sure Jo stays the course
Week 1 run 1
Week 5 Run 1 💪
The Final Countdown................Week 9 Run 1
Week 9 Run 1. Return of the demons. 
