CATCH-Up-CORNER...WEEK 3...A warm welcome to Everyone... Slip off those running shoes...

[Oldfloss]

Good morning fellow runners...

Here I am again and once more the Corner is welcoming you inside.

The weather outside... well..it is cold... very, very cold. real feel here currently...-8! Snow forecast tomorrow and Wednesday!

So, hot drinks are the order of the day... some excellent banana and apple muffins, a warm fire and some snuggly cushions and throws!

Sit down and stay a while! How is it all going with everyone,?

There have been a real mixture of posts this last week. Some folk struggling a tad, some on the IC and some just getting out there and moving forward! Very well done to all of you!

Well... I am feeling a lot happier today, as yesterday... I got a run in ! Yes finally. No ice, no rain . No snow no wind... just a calm morning with a sunrise to blow your mind!

I had a super, slow and steady run, taking it very gently and soaking up the sounds, sights and sensations of the morning. I saw very few folk and those I did, had a cheery wave or a quick smile!

After reaching home, I got to thinking... again! This time about a post that had been on my mind a tad since reading it.

One of our running friends.  SummerDark had been on the receiving end of a throw-away, maybe, but nonetheless, unwelcome remark from another woman... maybe, as many folk fail to do, the lady did not think before she spoke. You may read the post for yourselves.

The remark made to our friend was unnecessary and unthinking... and as often is the case, stayed with her for a while.

We have had over the years quite a few folks who have posted about unkind or pointed, remarks from strangers, friends or even family.

We have had, also, many discussions here, on ignoring, or responding.,.. when to stay quiet and when, as has been the case sometimes, when the physical abuse was severe a, not to stay quiet but to report an incident.

There may be a reason for the comment, it could simply arise from the fact that some folk seem to really dislike running; that could be understandable. Maybe the person has very bad memories of cold cross-country at school, really disliked physical activity or was being forced to so something you felt uneasy or not able to do?

Maybe, they just have issues on their own life or maybe the remark comes from a touch of jealousy. You are a runner, and they are not.

But, sadly, some folk, for whatever reason. seem to really dislike or resent runners... and will seek any opportunity to put them down. Though we know we should ignore or recognise the remark for what it is, it is sometimes very hard to do that.

There may be comments about age... or size, shape or something else... but whatever the comment is...it is totally out of order.

Other folk, unless we have explained to them, what running means to us, and what we take from it, have no idea, do not know what issues we may have, what we may be struggling with or what is going on in our lives. A hurtful remark has the power to quite literally, stop someone in their tracks and stop them running.

I have been lucky... in my location I think many folk have, over the last eight years got very used to this strange, loopy woman in the most outrageous running gear, running up a hill, often talking to herself. In that instance, I am probably responding to whatever I am listening to. The school children know me and always cheer me on... and I have made, many many dog walking friends!

A white van man did try to drown me once., years ago.. but , well, he may have been having a really bad day!

healthunlocked.com/couchto5......

I really regret the fact that anyone here may have been the target for nasty remarks... but, I would like to ask you, if you wish to, to share any issues you may have had.. and how you responded or not.. and whether it made you consider, even for a moment, giving up?

All we need to try to remember in these circumstances is:

You, and I are doing something we really enjoy... our motivation for that may be different, as we, are all so wonderfully different, but our common passion is the same. Running.

Maybe we should, whenever we can share that passion... explain why we do it and seek, as many friends on here have done, to persuade folk to give it a go.

We are a strong determined group of folk ...we are who we are... and we do not need anyone's approval or disapproval to be just that.

We are runners. We run, and Best of all... We run together.

Looking forward to seeing some of you later...

Oldfloss x

[ktsok Graduate]

Hi Floss. You paint an enjoyable image of yourself doing the rounds locally.

Re comments, the most upsetting/aggravating experiences for me were sexual comments from male drivers. On one occasion a white van slowed down and crawled behind for a while on a straight country lane with no traffic. I could hear the window wound down. Then one or two leering men slowly crawled past. I have been chased in the past as a much younger woman by a group of men, and had other experiences, so it creates a wariness.

Then Sarah Everard’s body was dumped in woodland a half mile from where I live where I regularly ran past. I didn’t run that route anymore.

I’m just getting back into longer runs, which means longer loops and hitting roads again. I do feel unease in the quiet places where there is a lone man/lone vehicle, which really annoys me, because I like the quiet places. I really appreciate it when men give a wide berth in those situations.

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate in reply to ktsok]

Hello and welcome to the corner! Goodness you have had a share of really unpleasant cat calling... and that incident with the van must have been very frightening...The hope you have is that you are faster than the folk who are being so intimidating and unpleasant.

Someone once said that we should stick to our routes and not be put off by such incidents, but, we do really have to think twice, and the Sarah Everard case makes that even more pertinent.

Do take care, and I am sure you always make sure someone knows where and when you are running in some of the more isolated areas?

Thank you for sharing this with us... x

[Naturesweapon Graduate in reply to ktsok]

Well done for carrying on despite your experience with the van and specially after being so close to Sarah Everard location. Poor Sarah, poor so many women that are victims of sexual abuse. This is so upsetting... 😢 and understandably you feel uncomfortable. I relate to those feelings and at one point in my life I was trying to fight them but nowadays I am just conservative in terms of where I go on my own.

[Annieapple Administrator Graduate]

🍏Morning Floss how lovely to just flop down with a warm throw and a cuppa.. and join in the chat. Looking up at your beautiful painting with the warm and welcoming light. I was once running in summer and passed a man out cleaning his car.. he made a rude remark about old people running in the heat.. I laughed as if it was a joke, ( it wasn’t ) & kept going… but other than that I can’t remember anyone else being rude … oh yes there were two cyclists riding abreast who shouted something about “wretched runners” as they roared past me.

The old saying about sticks & stones can break your bones but words can never harm you is utter rubbish! Physical wounds heal faster than harsh words & derogatory comments ever do. ….

Well Floss must get on but wondering who will pop in next? Have a great day and well done on getting your run done yesterday! Xx

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate in reply to Annieapple]

Hello and so good to see you here today ! So cold out but lovely here in the corner.

Yes, I do feel some folk call things out as a joke... but it really is not funny...it really is just not thinking.. and folk might very, very surprised to know how inappropriate it is!

Words can hurt and they sting... and in the wee hours can prey on our minds... but sharing our thoughts and knowing we are not alone... it all helps.

Sit a while and thank you for calling in xxx

[Dexy5 Graduate]

Hello Oldfloss , that cottage looks so cosy, I think everyone will want to pop in.

I have not had any unwanted attention when I have been running, although a few people have made comments which I believe were genuinely said to make me laugh and keep me going. I have never felt unsafe but being retired I am lucky to be able to run during the day. I might be worried about running some routes in the dark.

Once, a young handsome runner came from behind me and chatted as he came alongside - I wondered if perhaps I look like a younger person from behind. 🤣🤣. We chatted about parkrun before he moved along.

Sometimes people don’t realise the hurt a thoughtless comment can bring, and thankfully people of all shapes, sizes and ages can now be seen running, especially on a Saturday morning.

Most of the comments I have had back from non running people is that they can’t run because of their knees, hips etc. I find myself telling them that I was seeing a specialist for my knees before I started running, and I have had no problems since taking it up. Being inactive was far worse for me.

I hope you can get out for a run when it is safe. Enjoy looking at the snow from inside.

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate in reply to Dexy5]

I do hope so! Welcome to you.. your cushion is always waiting! I think a few folk do say things to cheer us on and make us smile...I like you , am lucky enough to run in the day and in what I feel are safe locations...

The bit about the handsome runner made me smile.. believe it or not. I have thought similarly... I think with my hat pulled down, I look much younger from behind too!!! Small wins

We are all so different, and yet, all the same, all runners and all running It is good that you do share the joy and do offer advice or support... two of my art class are doing squats now, whilst teeth leaning.. one commented so positively last week and the other is doing extra knee exercises so she can do C25K... we are going to do a run together soon ! Such positivity that will outweigh the negativity of folk who seek to put us down.

Thank you so much for this x

[Sax64 Graduate]

Oh goodness, I've only just read summerdark's post. I'm so thankful I've never experienced anything like that, particularly as I run alone. We should run proud and strong and celebrate what we do and what we achieve 🏃‍♀️🏃

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate in reply to Sax64]

We should indeed, we are out there and doing it... and we do need to celebrate that fact. Thank you for calling in today... there is always a cushion here

[SummerDark Graduate]

Thank you Oldfloss. I'm over it now, and I don't think I'll be so stung about comments if I receive any again. I've not been running long, but already had such improvements to my health and well-being that someone's hurtful remark isn't going to stop me!

Everyone else, friends and family, people I pass when I'm out running and other runners have been so encouraging and supportive. I was just so taken aback over this comment as it was totally unexpected... but, her comment, her issue!

Sharing on here, the advice and reading the experiences of others has helped and I hope it's helped others.

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate in reply to SummerDark]

It has and will help.. we should all speak out and share...staying focused and strong is just the thing... well done you and thank you for that post.

Most folk are super and very, very supportive... which is just great. Thank you again and for popping in today x

[BarbieW Graduate]

Hi OF and thanks for a lovely post as always. The cushions and warm drinks are soooo tempting!

I’ve been struggling a bit recently, I seemed to have reverted to an earlier lesser-fit state of being, and found myself unable to run for very long at all, but thankfully I was able to get out for an almost 6k yesterday, albeit my slowest ever. Still, onwards and upwards as they say.

A (male) fitness writer in my local weekly paper published a piece the other week about safety in running, giving useful tips for both male and female runners so we all feel safe when out. (I did think it read familiarly, so he may have copied it from somewhere else tbqh) but I thought I’d see if I can track him down and ask if we can post his piece on here as I think it would be so useful for all of us.

I’ve never heard any bad comments myself, but then I’m quite deaf without my hearing aids, and I can’t wear them when running so if anyone called out to me I’d just smile and say good morning as I do to anyone I meet when out first thing!

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate in reply to BarbieW]

Hello and welcome to you. Another snowy morning here and very cold, but set to be sunny again as was yesterday!

We do have times when the exercise and everything else can feel a bit of an effort...and all we can do, is accept that and just as you are doing move forward as and when and take it really gently. I do feel for you...I have just been popping in the runs when I am able and often... just a fifteen minute one

I have this image of someone calling to you for effect, and your response of a, smile and cheery good morning! Well done you !!

What is the proverb? " A gentle word turns away wrath... "? Well I am sure it would take the speaker by surprise.. and work !

Well done on that run... slow and steady as you go and you are welcome here, any time :)x

[Wavy-chick28 Graduate]

The cottage is so cosy and I’m there wrapped in a throw, I may stay in bed a few more minutes now before getting that kit on and running.

I read Summerdark’ post and it’s amazing how people speak without thinking not realising the consequences, I’ve never had any adverse comments luckily but did have imposter syndrome for a while but I run therefore im a runner!

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate in reply to Wavy-chick28]

There you are... Welcome. Did you get that run in???

We have snow here again this morning, a pretty covering!

Yes, folk just blurt things out and probably hardly realise the power of it sometimes..., Most of the time it can be shrugged off, but sometimes when we have other things going on or are recovering from illness or injury, it can resonate a tad too much.

You are certainly no imposter... and your cushion is always here.. and if you did get that run in yesterday... you can sit a while longer, and welcome x

[Wavy-chick28 Graduate in reply to Oldfloss]

I have completed 3 runs only 3k each but glorious all the same 🎉

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate in reply to Wavy-chick28]

Just perfect!

[Naturesweapon Graduate]

Hi, thank you for this corner chat and everyone for sharing. My experience is overwhelmingly positive and I am an optimistic that likes to see the bright side of things anyway, but having said so I have also experienced some issues... I started telling a personal trainer (one of these taster sessions gyms offer) about my running experience when she said "yeah but that is not running" and then she repeated it again just as to ensure I understood my efforts didn't amount to running. She also suggested that before attempting any (proper) running I should loose weight specially around my waist. I was a bit hurt and it goes without saying that I didn't come back! The other negative experience has been multiple instances of male gaze including cars stopping and telling me things about my appearance, level of sexiness or lack of, get in the car or unwanted attentions, jokes, etc etc. I also had a neighbour casually admitting to watch me running around the field and this freaked me out a bit although I prefer to laugh it off tbh. I respond with a wave and a smile or depending on the day I just blank them. Anything but letting anyone ruin my wonderful experience and bring me down with them. One thing I have done is to change my running times from evening to morning though and I feel safer. I also stick to the field in front of my house and the parkrun for now. Sending lots of 💘💘💘 to everyone and dont even let any negativity get to you ever!

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate in reply to Naturesweapon]

Hello and welcome to this war, safe spot . A cushion will be here for you at any time

I can hardly comprehend what the PT said to you.. goodness me... what a silly person. Thank goodness you did not return! You have had a fair share of the silly, unthinking behaviour, and it is mostly unthinking or like your neighbour, harmless.

I love and have always loved the morning runs.. a great start to the day and setting us up for what is to come. I did have a run in with a badger once... I do not know who was more surprised... we both just looked at each other..

Well done you. negativity not allowed in...but positivity is always welcome! You are welcome at any time... thank you for sharing x

[Dexy5 Graduate]

I thought this says it all Oldfloss and SummerDark !

Runners of all shape and sizes

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate in reply to Dexy5]

It is horrendous that folk still have a stereo type image...x

[SummerDark Graduate in reply to Dexy5]

That's a great poster! Love it. Thank you for sharing