”Your a bit out of your depth aren’t ya” - Couch to 5K

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”Your a bit out of your depth aren’t ya”

XenaZelda profile image
XenaZeldaGraduate
52 Replies

well I went out for a 4.5 KM run this morning along the river and I saw a couple walking along that I usually see round where I live when I’m walking my dogs, I only know them to say hello to…….well as I ran past them the woman said “your a bit out of your depth aren’t you” 🙄 I just smiled and swiftly ran past them, I have responded to other posters who has had comments like this and I’ve always said I haven’t had any comments like that whilst running, well now I have joined that club and afterwards I thought “what a god damn cheek” 😡 these people don’t know me and don’t know my running journey, I am bound to see them again at some point whilst walking my dogs and I’m afraid I will not let this go, although I don’t care what people think I’m not going to let her get away with that I’ll probably say “I can run for 3 miles mate what can you do and say that you don’t know anything about me or my cababilities so keep you fat mouth comments to yourself” , I wouldn’t have the cheek to make any comment about anyone in public to their face!

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XenaZelda profile image
XenaZelda
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52 Replies
ChannelRunner2 profile image
ChannelRunner2Graduate

Ugh! I am so sorry to read you had that comment "thrown" at you, XenaZelda ! It's so sad that people either don't realize how rude they are or get a kick out of being rude.

Not sure if you just wanted to vent or if you were also looking for possible responses. If the latter, read on. If the former, feel free to stop reading 😉

Maybe the next time you see them while walking your dogs, you could introduce yourself and just casually drop in how far and/or how often you run. If it's fairly soon, you might also want to mention that her comment hurt. Personally, I'd recommend insulting her although I suspect what you want to say to her isn't what you'd actually say to her...

Oh! And give yourself some credit for keeping on running!!! You didn't let her or her comment stop you! 🥳

XenaZelda profile image
XenaZeldaGraduate in reply to ChannelRunner2

thank you, oh and what I would like to say would be far more horrible, but I won’t rise to her level but will certainly let her know in no uncertain terms next time I se her

backintime profile image
backintimeGraduate in reply to ChannelRunner2

alternatively you could push her in the river and then say "bit out of your depth aren't ya" :D

XenaZelda profile image
XenaZeldaGraduate in reply to backintime

hahaha, this made made me laugh so much I wish I would have thought of that at the time, what a great come back that would have been

backintime profile image
backintimeGraduate

What a cheek! Some people are so ignorant. Honestly they're not worth worrying about.

XenaZelda profile image
XenaZeldaGraduate in reply to backintime

thank you, I wouldn’t dream of saying anything to some one I don’t know, I will certainly let her know and won’t speak to her again

Curlygurly2 profile image
Curlygurly2Graduate

You know, when I'm out running or walking I can't tell how fast other runners are going unless they actually run past me, so someone who doesn't run can have no idea...sometimes a fast runner can look slow and vice versa...in any case people have different styles, and we are ALL runners regardless of our pace or distance.

It makes me cross too, someone who knows very well the health issues I've had, and the fact that I've run through all of them, still says "I saw you this morning, doing the slow running that you do" Makes me want to invite him to run with me for a bit...

On the other hand someone gave me a round of applause the other day, and other runners will smile occasionally, that makes up for all the tw*ts!

XenaZelda profile image
XenaZeldaGraduate in reply to Curlygurly2

thank you, what is wrong with people that’s terrible, most of the runners I see wave or nod or say good morning as they have respect for me, this woman who is older than me doesn’t have the right to judge on my capabilities and those that comment to you don’t have the right to judge your capabilities ❤️

SueAppleRun profile image
SueAppleRunGraduate

That's really horrible, how dare people comment when we are doing what keeps us fit and happy, nothing like knocking someone down

XenaZelda profile image
XenaZeldaGraduate in reply to SueAppleRun

I know, I am quite thick skinned so doesn’t affect me that way, but another person just starting out and may have really had to push themselves to start running and that comment may have stopped them from carrying on, it makes me angry really

Cowladyrunning profile image
CowladyrunningGraduate

That's very rude. I'd think a lot of things in my head but wouldn't say them as I'm too chicken but the thoughts will do .... what a shame you see them regularly..... Well done for keeping going.

XenaZelda profile image
XenaZeldaGraduate in reply to Cowladyrunning

well the next time I see her i will say what I’ve got to say and then not speak her anymore after that, I’m certainly no chicken 🤣

Cowladyrunning profile image
CowladyrunningGraduate in reply to XenaZelda

😂good for you! 💪

Beachcomber66 profile image
Beachcomber66Graduate

If you are likely to run into these people regularly, I would deal with it in a different way. I wouldn’t want to continue a dialogue with them which is only likely to spoil your runs. I would just say “good morning” or “good afternoon “ and leave it at that. Their opinion doesn’t count for anything, so why waste time and effort on them. Headphones are good too! Enjoy your runs.🙂

XenaZelda profile image
XenaZeldaGraduate in reply to Beachcomber66

you are right ofcourse, but I’m not going to say good morning anymore I will ignore her after I have said what I have to say to her 😃

AlMorr profile image
AlMorrAmbassadorGraduate

Very rude of those people who say rude things to runners, if you meet them again ask them to run with you, lol or ask if they have ever ran since leaving school which I doubt they have.

It seems to me that more rude remarks are made to women runners than men, I have never had a rude remark made at me when running, I have had many "well done's" and "you're doing great" including run 3 of week 5 and run 3 of week 9 of C25K and even a "keep going" by someone when I ran the only half marathon I have run, this was on the last kilometer when I felt knackered, that remark helped me to complete that run.

XenaZelda profile image
XenaZeldaGraduate in reply to AlMorr

this was the first time I have had someone say such a rude thing to me and by someone I say hello to who live near me, well not anymore I will say what I need to say to her and then not speak to her anymore 😃

Cassie_7 profile image
Cassie_7Graduate

Sad isn't it that people make comments like that? We have a really abusive and angry guy who walks along our road on a regular basis. He is extremely shouty and oh my ....his language is very colourful. Well I absolutely dread bumping into him 😱 It may be that he has something like Tourettes syndrome so I think I will ignore him if he starts on me as he is very scary sometimes. Yet at other times he is quieter.

XenaZelda profile image
XenaZeldaGraduate in reply to Cassie_7

oh dear that will be a bit scarey, and yes stay well clear of him and no eye contact at all

BarbieW profile image
BarbieWGraduate in reply to Cassie_7

If it is Tourette’s there will probably be little harm in him. We have a guy round here who occasionally has one of his swearing and shouting sessions which can be quite scary to see/hear, but he is generally harmless when you understand what it is. It just gets ignored by those who know him!

Cassie_7 profile image
Cassie_7Graduate in reply to BarbieW

Thanks Barbie that is reassuring to know! It is unnerving and offensive. It must be horrible to suffer with it.

SlowRunner46 profile image
SlowRunner46Graduate

I’m so sorry to hear that someone could be so horrible to you. I think it is important that you say something to them when you next see them. It will help you to move on from their nastiness and hopefully stop them doing this to someone else in the future. Well done for being so brave.

Remember there are lovely people out there too… a dog walker said well done to me as I finished my slow plod yesterday 😍.

XenaZelda profile image
XenaZeldaGraduate in reply to SlowRunner46

thank you, I will say what I need to say and then move on, we should all disassociate negative people from our lives, in 7 months this is the first time I have had such a comment as most people are nice and respectable, it’s great to receive positive comments 😃

Carners1 profile image
Carners1Graduate

The best revenge is for her to still see you out there, doing your thing, in a years time!!

XenaZelda profile image
XenaZeldaGraduate in reply to Carners1

oh she will! This is the first time I have seen them on my running days, I went out earlier than I usually do and saw them walking down by the river, I will see them again no doubt.

Oldfloss profile image
OldflossAdministratorGraduate

Some folk don't taste their words before they spit them out...pure envy...

Sinking to the level of someone like that may not be a great idea... but a simple... " I'm running... you are just being offensive "...may be the way?

I think maybe if you do see here again and you are going to speak with her, then explaining, as you mentioned later in a reply, that has she thought of how her words may affect someone, just beginning to run or someone recovering from illness or injury?

It is doubtful she will respond, but at least your feelings are known?

XenaZelda profile image
XenaZeldaGraduate in reply to Oldfloss

she may well have not meant it nastily and when I next see her she may well be very apologetic but I don’t know her that well, I will see, this will certainly not affect my running journey, best to ignore such negative people 😃

Fiadh79 profile image
Fiadh79Graduate

Such an odd thing to say. I don't really understand it. My intention if anything like this happens to me is to just say that they've been very rude and then leave them.

Anyhow you've done super well to get out there!

XenaZelda profile image
XenaZeldaGraduate in reply to Fiadh79

no me either, I like to know what she meant by it first then have my response to that, I thought it was a very odd thing to say and a bloody cheek tbh

Harerunner profile image
HarerunnerGraduate

I would let it it roll lovey, and don’t beat yourself over it, it won’t be good for you. Keep a higher ground on this. You know how far you have gone. Maybe if you happen to say hello again and it is more of a conversation you can just happen to drop it in the chat how often you run as well as walk the dog, but only then. Just let it go you are better than that. 👍🏻x

XenaZelda profile image
XenaZeldaGraduate in reply to Harerunner

thankyou, I’m afraid I won’t be speaking to her again after I have said my point, removing negative people from my life is only a good thing, this won’t affect my running journey I enjoy it too much 😃

Omg you had me fuming when I read this I would love to comment back to her she does not know anything about the journey people have to get to where they are.

So sorry to hear this happened to you main thing is don’t come down to her level but maybe the next time you see her you should ask if she would like to join you instead of JUST walking her dog haha would love to see her face.

Don’t let this stop you if anything let this elevate you. Good luck

XenaZelda profile image
XenaZeldaGraduate in reply to

1 negative person will most definitely not stop me from doing this, I’m afraid I won’t be asking her to join me on anything, don’t need people like that around me 😃

BR808 profile image
BR808Graduate

I would just flip it, how sad she’s so blissfully ignorant! She can’t be in our ‘secret to happiness club!’ Although it sounds like she bloomin needs to be! 🤣

XenaZelda profile image
XenaZeldaGraduate in reply to BR808

I love the “secret to happiness club” and my running journey has definitely made me happier 😃

Footleg profile image
FootlegGraduate

Give them a big smile and a cheery 'Hello' next time you see them. Stay as happy as running makes us. They know nothing and they really don't matter. Being cheery will either cheer them up or prove to them that silly comments have no effect.

However if they have a pesty dog off the lead give 'em all guns.

XenaZelda profile image
XenaZeldaGraduate in reply to Footleg

haha, they don’t have a dog I usually see them outside their house whilst walking my dogs, retired I expect and possibly bored 🤣

mumoftheyear profile image
mumoftheyear

I am 58 and over-weight, but fit and I completed the couch to 5k and carried on running, getting up to 45 minute runs and doing between 12 -15k a week. Sometimes I thought that people would think this about ME as I was running but I never got any negative comments, only smiles and encouragement. But, like you I am a bit fiery and if I got a comment like you got, I would definitely not have let it go. If you see this woman again, don't be rude back as that will mean you have sunk to her level, and she will have won. Just stop and say something like. 'I am not out of my depth. I run so many times a week and so many kms. (fill in the blanks). You commented without knowing me or knowing what my running journey has been, and you definitely don't know what kind of day I was having. Comments like yours are unhelpful and could make less confident people stop running altogether, so maybe, you should think about what you say, and what effect it could have before you say it. It takes nothing to be kind and encouraging and it feels better than being negative or cruel. Enjoy the rest of your day.'

XenaZelda profile image
XenaZeldaGraduate in reply to mumoftheyear

absolutely spot on, I am a fiery person because of the life I have had, I won’t sink to her level but will make my point and then move on, tbh I think they need to know their comments are not acceptable 😃

Leotigris profile image
LeotigrisGraduate in reply to XenaZelda

you really don't owe her any explanation at all

MrsLydiaWickham profile image
MrsLydiaWickhamGraduate

Is it possible the dog walker meant "you're a long way from home', given that you usually see her around where you live? A compliment of sorts, as in 'wow you have run a long way'?! If not, then "if you've nothing nice to say, say nothing at all" is appropriate. So sorry she spoiled your run. Please update us on your next encounter.

XenaZelda profile image
XenaZeldaGraduate in reply to MrsLydiaWickham

she didn’t spoil my run at all, I smiled afterwards and told my sister when I got home, they were walking without a dog as they don’t have one and it was the first I have seen them where I usually run, and she may not have meant anything nasty by it but she needs to know it’s wrong othwise she can carry on being like that, I will move on afterwards 😃

MrsLydiaWickham profile image
MrsLydiaWickhamGraduate

Sorry - my mistake about her being a dogwalker! ❤

Crolla profile image
Crolla

How very rude! To be honest she sounds like the sort of person who lives to knock people down and thinks anyone taking care of themselves by exercise or whatever is to be mocked. I'd certainly ask her why she said that to you, then maybe ask her if she's ever tried exercise as it can be a marvellous mood booster - ha ha!

buzzards profile image
buzzardsGraduate

The woman was extremely rude. How, when or why you run is none of her business. You're right to be angry. Running is for everyone not just elite athletes. It is so ignorant. I'm sure people don't make these comments to people doing other sports.

Pinkpig20 profile image
Pinkpig20Graduate

I don’t think people think sometimes when they make comments like this. Keep doing what you do! 😀

RunningJ123 profile image
RunningJ123Graduate

Urghh... That's so horrible! People can be so rude. You are doing brilliantly, and I'm quite sure she'd be way out of her depth with a lot less!

PD25 profile image
PD25Graduate

Like you I would be tempted to say something but I wouldn't, just let it go, why stress yourself over a comment from someone you don't know? Yes, they were rude but don't stoop to their level. Next time you see them don't stop, smile, say hello and run past them just that bit faster. 😁

Sorry, I think many of us seemed to think they were dog walkers.

I’m in my 50’s but I find SOME people much older than me seem to have no filter and think they can just say what they want. Keep us updated would love to see if you bump into them again.

XenaZelda profile image
XenaZeldaGraduate

UPDATE: for rhose that read the original post 2 months ago, i said i would give an update - well after 2 months of not seeing that couple that said i was a bit out of my depth i saw them walking along by the river this morning during my run and i went up to them and said hello, the woman said "haven't seen you for a long while" and i said "well the last i saw you on one of my runs you said to me that i am a bit out of my depth arent you, and i'd like to know what you meant by that, as a joke i could have said to you i'll push you in the river and say to you youre a bit out of your depth aren't ya, i am quite thick skinned but someone who is struggling and just started out having that said to them could have knocked their confidence and stopped running altogether, so you should think before you speak as you dont know me or my capabilities and i may not look like your typical athlete but i can run for 5 miles" she was so remorseful and couldnt apologise enough she said she meant "you are bit out of your usual area" so whether she did or didnt mean that i accepted her apology and glad i spoke to her about it, so we had a nice chat and i carried on with my run, now knowing that i can say hello and smile at them 😀

MissUnderstanding profile image
MissUnderstandingAdministratorGraduate in reply to XenaZelda

That’s a really positive update! You were really brave in speaking to her again. I’m so pleased it worked out to well ❤️

XenaZelda profile image
XenaZeldaGraduate in reply to MissUnderstanding

Thank you, i am glad i did, people need to know what they say is unacceptable so to clear the air and move on from it, the man actually said that i look good 🤣 but i suspect they were both trying to get into my good books again

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