So it’s not quite what you think…I graduated c25k back in February. This was my first run after finishing the big event plan I’ve been following and it was deja vu all over again. So many memories of what it was like just after graduation.
I’d been building up my distance for a race on Sunday which I was excited about and was thrilled to complete. Just like c25k. I’d been really looking forward to running after “graduation”. Just like c25k. I felt a bit lost. Just like after finishing c25k.
I’d planned a few days rest to recover and I was feeling fine. I chose a 2 mile run along a route I knew well. I picked some music I thought I’d enjoy. I warmed up with a five minute walk and set off. My head was all over the place. Although the run was physically fine, I just didn’t feel settled. Questions, questions, questions! How fast should I be running now? How can I improve my pace? Is my form good enough? If people saw me running, would they think I was a fraud for having covered a distance I didn’t look like I was able to do? Shouldn’t I be better by now? What should my new goal be to get faster and cover a longer distance ? What was I even running for? It was as if every gremlin I’d managed to squash along the way to Sunday’s finish line had come out with a vengeance.
Why is it so hard to just celebrate what we’ve achieved without a nagging feeling that we should have done it further or faster than we did? I was thinking about setting a new goal to go faster and further but instead, I’m just setting myself the challenge to run regularly and to enjoy it. That’s why I started running in the first place. Goals are helpful but they shouldn’t get in the way of loving the running.
I managed to shake myself out of the strange mood by stopping looking at my watch and starting looking around me. The leaves are beautiful.
Keep on running everyone and I will too! 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️
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MissUnderstanding
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Thank you for sharing this. After I completed C25k at the weekend, I told all my friends and one of them, who runs marathons all over the world, replied straight away that I should now put myself down for a 10k and offered to run it with me. I know she was well-intentioned but it just made me feel like what I had achieved wasn’t really worth anything (I haven’t even got to 5k lol). Thankfully, I’m able to see past it and plenty of other people managed to stay focused on congratulating me, but it felt like when you have a baby and someone immediately asks when you’re going to have another one. Anyway, I’m with you - I’m not setting goals, just enjoying my runs and feeling good about being healthy. I’m glad you are, too. Happy running!
Thanks for the reply and massively well done on your graduation. It’s a HUGE achievement. I think sometimes people don’t quite realise how they come across. I’m sure your friend meant well but I totally understand why you’d have felt a bit demoralised. I’ve had similar feelings chatting to people who immediately asked me how fast I’d finished as if that was the only thing that matters. There are so many more ways to measure success than just the numbers on the watch at the end.
I’ve been out for another run today and enjoyed it a bit more, even though I’d got the weather wrong and was far too hot all the way round. There was a nice guided run on NRC called “Stress free run” and it was twenty five minutes of chilled running (despite the heat!!).
Thanks for sharing this, Aspasia , as it also shows why so many of us have trouble just celebrating our achievements (heck, seeing things we've done as achievements!): We've learned to "not rest on our laurels" and plan the next thing.
I say we need to change that attitude and celebrate our laurels!
Well done on reaching your goal. I know exactly how you feel, I graduated in August and I'm still beating myself up, why aren't I faster, why can't I run much further, what's the point!? These questions are with me constantly! Also I have dropped one run so I only do 2 a week, motivation isn't great 😕. But I still go out, remind myself that the feeling after a run is so good. I have done parkrun twice now since graduating ( 6 times in total), still not able to complete without walking but I get out there and do my best. My 14 year old son has signed up so we can go together although I have a feeling he may be a little faster 😁. Got to get those gremlins silenced! Happy running whatever you choose to do
Thanks-one of the brilliant things about this forum is sharing experiences and being reminded it’s normal to have highs and lows. Today’s run was a lot nicer. Spotted some massive buzzards which was lovely. The plan is to explore some new places and enjoy the variety. Pace/distance is off the table. Just having fun and keeping going.
I find it endlessly fascinating how this running thing can make us feel, and reading your post rings bells for me, but switched around.
Like you I'd set myself a running event goal (the word race is too scary to use) the idea worked and kept me running the distance consistently through the year . But around 2 months from it all those post run feelings that you describe hit me and I really wasn't enjoying my runs. Thanks to advice from the lovely people on these forums I got over it, and my first runs after my event were really uplifting and I felt so good.
Thanks so much for the reply. I have also avoided calling my “event” a “race”! I wasn’t aiming to beat anyone-just to get to the end which I was very pleased about. Today’s run was a lot better with the pressure I’d put on myself to enjoy it off again. I’ve got the opportunity to try out some lovely new routes on a holiday this week so that might shake me out of this period and back into the joyful bounding around the local lanes and lake! I wonder if part of this is the grey weather…
Thank you for this post, MissUnderstanding ! And that lovely photo!
I needed this reminder. I made the mistake a popped an antihistamine before going to bed, so I could breathe - and woke up absolutely groggy. Argh! All I could do is turn around and sleep some more - and then when I woke up with a clearer head, started to beat myself up over having to rearrange when I run today. No sunrise run! It's going to be late! Never mind that it's the weekend and I don't really have any plans (other than with myself and apparently my gremlins...). So, I will take to heart what you wrote: Run to enjoy, not to check off "early morning run", and will go out later this morning to enjoy the sunny fall weather 🥳
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