Now that really was a tough one and it almost didn’t happen but it did because I knew I had to try.
Today has been a rough day for both of us. I won’t go into detail but long story short the kids have been ON IT. So before you know it the planned meal remains uncooked and we’re sat down shoving in pizza, before giving the kids a very swift bedtime and then collapsing on the sofa in defeat. Fortunately we managed to get them both to bed on good terms at least.
On top of this, I have not been feeling good today at all. I’ve been completely drained, unable to focus on work so got almost nothing done and, most worryingly, I’ve been getting out of breath really easily. That if course sets off alarm bells in this hypochondriac’s head because I have had several unwanted encounters with strangers in the last few weeks, including some who coughed directly at me.
I’m hoping it’s just a combination of stress and anxiety causing my chest muscles to hug me as tightly as they can to protect me from any intrusive oxygen that might try to sneak in to my body. Walking upstairs, across the room, even bending down to stroke the cat made me a little breathless, so as rational as I try to be, I do have some concerns.
What am I meant to do though, not stroke the cat?
So obviously after the pizza we couldn’t run for a while, which is why it happened so late. We both decided to stick to the garden for now, partly because it’s dark and partly because yesterday someone was robbed at knifepoint in broad daylight in one of the parks we were considering so suddenly running in a circle around the garden is the preferable option.
She went first while I played some PS4 and failed to vent my frustration on Fortnite because I’m not 17 and rarely play it so I got my ass kicked by teenagers. Still, at least it didn’t happen for real in that park.
Then it was my turn and I really didn’t feel up to it but it was now it never and I hate missing a run because one day can easily turn into two days, which can easily turn into six months and I’m just getting started here so I headed out.
Since my last run I’ve been listening to a lot of Blondie (the wannabe writer in me kept imagining possible movie scenes I could write to go with the songs, I wonder if I can ever make that happen) so it was the obvious choice to get me going. Today’s album was Autoamerican, which worked out pretty well because the cooldown walk at the end synced up with Rapture, which is one of the coolest songs you can walk to.
But of course I had to earn that cooldown walk so out I went into the garden and forced myself to get on with it.
and it was fine, I guess, but I really felt it. The running part was easy anyway, my legs are working just fine, but I was a lot more breathless than usual. Having said that, I didn’t struggle as much as I thought I would in that respect. I’ve heard how bad breathing can get when you get hit full on with the virus and if that was me, I wouldn’t have even made it through the warm up walk.
I forgot that Autoamerican starts with a weird instrumental called Europa so walking through the garden in the dark with that playing made me feel like I was in the opening scene of a Scandinavian crime drama. Let’s hope I’m the hero and not the victim.
Turns out I’m the murderer, I was walking back down the path when I felt a crunch and realise I’d stepped on a snail. I’m a monster.
Worse than that, further down the path was a snail gathering, no doubt wondering why their friend was late. I kept going and tried to avoid eye contact but they could sense my guilt, they knew.
Anyway, I did the first 90 second run and got through it, but at the end of it I felt the way I normally do at the end of a complete run so I knew the walking breaks really had to count this time.
It got harder. My chest and neck muscles got all tight and painful pretty early on but luckily it wasn’t constant. I just did what I had to do and carried on. I’d only stop if it overwhelmed me and luckily it never got that bad. After all, 90 seconds is a very short time so the end is never far away.
I think runs 2 to 4 were probably the hardest, after that I more or less settled in and I wouldn’t say I felt better as such but I didn’t get any worse. However I did get a little worried when the cat appeared to be hunting... something in the long grass. I don’t know what but later on I saw her throw up a spider on the patio. I’m also pretty sure something bit my leg.
I got through it and I felt like a bit of a mess at the end of it but I did it and it’s done and I’m not sure how I’ll be on Friday but I hope I’m better than this. I feel... ok having done it but I’m not sure how I am overall. I guess I’ll have a better idea tomorrow.
W2R1. Against all Odds (and Stan)
W2R1: Taking it outside
W2R1 done - and at 6 am!
W2R1 - mantra got me through
W2R1 completed :)
