This run is brought to you by ... ice, mud and hot flushes ๐Ÿ˜ฅ ... oh, and my bra ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

This run is brought to you by ... ice, mud and hot flushes ๐Ÿ˜ฅ ... oh, and my bra ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

My first run in 12 days due to being crazy busy (750+ miles travelled up and down the country in the snow last weekend to move daughter into her new home, then snow / ice confining us all to barracks)..!! Starting ju-ju-'s 10 is the magic number has, regrettably, been 'paused' ๐Ÿ˜”

The only thing keeping the black dog from my heels of late has been the purchase of my new (to me) car this week. I'd been looking for her for over a year ๐Ÿค— I couldn't run to feel good, but driving (with very loud music) has helped..!!

I seized the opportunity to get out at lunch time today ... squeezed myself into the appropriate support attire and did my stretches ... just as it started to sleet ... and rain ... a lot ... in fact, MORE than a lot..!!

Hat... I was going to need a hat (purple hair requires much rain proofing), but I'm a bit weird with hats ... on 2 occasions I have been 'trapped' (yes, I did say TRAPPED) in a hat and panic attacks have ensued (much to the jaw dropping amazement of those who were with me at the time) ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ Baseball cap... that'll do nicely... even though the bright yellow colour made me look like some 'special kind of sunshine' ๐Ÿ™„

Decided to head to the park... less ice but more mud... thought about the big penis run icklegui but it's on main roads with no paths - it's a 'must do' but I'll save it for a quieter time ๐Ÿ˜‰

Warm up walk to the park was bloody treacherous, still so much thick ice on the paths... I had to keep to the grass verges, but they had turned to slippery mud from everyone else walking on them. This is where I had a bit of a slide... you know, the ones where you let out a girly squeal as you throw your arms round like a windmill whilst doing the riverdance with your feet ... followed by a quick look round to make sure nobody saw ๐Ÿ™ˆ

Further down the path, a guy was heading towards me pushing his bicycle (wise move), but he changed his course before I got a chance to (chivalry, clearly, isn't dead). He moved to the centre of the path where the ice was really thick... with his feet planted firmly on the ice, he and his bike slid quickly (but gracefully) by as I gave him a grateful 'thank you' whilst stifling my laughter. I then realised he was probably having the time of his life as I got the whiff of his spliff ๐Ÿ˜‚ I inhaled deeply (๐Ÿ˜) and continued to the park.

Once there I was confronted with the choice of an ice laden downhill path or a muddy, sodden farmer's field... I chose the field ๐Ÿ˜ณ Sarah gave me her usual cheery "Off you go" (no, I still can't let her go - she is my buddy and stalwart timekeeper) and off I went, ploughing my way through water, slush and mud.

It was 3 degress, hammering down with rain and my feet were already cold and squelchy ... but, bloody hell, it felt so good to be out there again..!! I can't believe how much I'd missed it.

It was futile trying to hop around the mud and puddles, I just concentrated on avoiding the ice.

I'd chosen 'The Cure' to join me on my run - it proved and excellent choice as, apart from the birds, there wasn't another living soul in sight. You know what that means....

*Gasping* "..... wonderfully wonderfully pretty ..... I'd do anything for you ..... should have each other to tea ..... we should have each other with cream ..... curl up by the fire ..... sleep for awhile ..... "

Shrieking the words out, reminiscent to that of a 'Love Cat' (if you get my drift ๐Ÿ˜‰), I was in a comfortable steady place and I felt goooood โ˜บ๏ธ ... but, hey, birds ... !!! Come backkk ... !!! "..... it's the grooviest thing ..... it's the perfect dream ..... "

15 minutes in and I was feeling a bit warm (that internal hormonal furnace being ignited, glorious bloody hot flush feeling)..!! I slipped my running jacket off and tied it round my waste.

20 minutes in and my legs were really beginning to tire - and the fact my feet had soaked up half the park really wasn't helping the situation. I needed to dig down a bit here. I'd set up The Cure's playlist with 9 tracks over 31 minutes and I WASN'T going to stop until that playlist finished..!! ๐Ÿ˜ 

Internal furnace really was getting too much to tolerate ... as I'd not seen another human in the park, and I was 2/3 of the way round, I figured the odds were in favour of me whipping my top off and not being spotted ๐Ÿ™„ My sports bra is quite robust, there's no fear of escaping pendulous jigglies..!! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ™ˆ I took a walk across the ice encrusted wooden bridge (a 60 meter death trap at the best of times) whilst wrestling my top off and tying that, too, round my waist.

So - in 3 degrees, pi$$ing rain, with feet and legs plastered in mud, half my clothes slung round my middle, in my purple Brooks Juno bra, sunny yellow baseball cap, an exposed wobbly body that had turned a gorgeous shade of Piglet pink and half gasping / half wailing ...

" ..... I'll run around in circles 'til I run out of breath ..... I'll eat you all up ..... Or I'll just hug you to death ..... You're so wonderful ..... Too good to be true ..... You make me ..... make me hungry for you ..... "

...... a man appears from behind the hazel trees walking a dog lead (no dog anywhere to be seen, just a lead)..!! ๐Ÿ˜ณ I didn't make eye contact but, for the first time on any of my runs, I prayed that my dripping snot nose drew the focus of his attention ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ ... and then ran on a bit faster ...

I made the 30 minutes, regained some modesty, and slid my way home.

Strava told me that I'd run faster than MapMyRun was reporting, so Strava is my new best friend ๐Ÿ˜‰

After a 12 day absence (and 10 days prior to that due to illness), I had been dreading this run. It wasn't easy and, believe me, it wasn't pretty - most of them aren't, but I slothed my way round and was pleasantly surprised that I'd not turned to a gelatinous mess... happy days ๐Ÿค—

We've been badly affected by the recent weather, but I hope that you're all now able to get your running shoes on again.

Happy running my lovelies - tread carefully out there ๐Ÿ˜˜

82 Replies
oldest โ€ข newest

This is a fabulous read!!! That run sounds like an adventure- as all runs should be. Well done you - and Iโ€™m going to get The Cure on Spotify, thanks for the lyrics, brings it all back!!!

2 likes
Reply

Haha, thank you lovely ๐Ÿ˜‚

Ooh yes, you must - a running playlist isn't complete without them (just unfortunate that I'm old enough to remember the release of that particular album ๐Ÿ™„

Reply

Awesome post - hilarious to read as ever!!!! Well done on the run!!

1 like
Reply

Sorry, lovely, just realised Iโ€™d neglected to reply to you ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

Thank you, you should try running with me some time... itโ€™s even more hilarious..!! ๐Ÿคฃ

1 like
Reply

I LOVE your posts.

I especially like that now I'm associated with the words "big penis run"!!!

And go you - singing, stripping and all! Sounds like a spectacular return to running :D

3 likes
Reply

Haha, sorry - should have kept that one quiet ๐Ÿ™Š I wouldn't want to tarnish anyone's reputation ๐Ÿ™ˆ

Yes, and I thought it was going to be a boring run ๐Ÿ™„

Reply

have you had any boring runs?!

Also ... reputation ... the only thing I'm thinking of is how on earth I would top your anatomically illustrative run ... been staring at a local map but there's nothing as ... ahem ... inspiring!

1 like
Reply

One or two ๐Ÿ˜‚

Pahaha, you can join me and run round my big penis if you like ..?? ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜‚

2 likes
Reply

aaaaaaaaaah I am creasing up, I wonder if all this laughing counts as rest-day exercise!

1 like
Reply

Of course it is, it's building core strength ... ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ™Š

1 like
Reply

I didn't want to mention any of this terribly inappropriate* chat on another thread but I've just seen you refer to practice runs as "alternative" runs and creased up again ... if a practice is an "alternative" run what on earth would this count as ... O_O ๐Ÿคฃ

*hilariously inappropriate

Reply

That, my lovely, is a very well observed and fair comment.... to which I have no bloody answer to ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Reply

oh wait i've got it - it'd be like life drawing - life running?

... no wait ....

Anatomically Representative Serious Exercise ...?

1 like
Reply

Anatomically Representative Serious Exercise

..Acronym..

ARSE

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

1 like
Reply

You are hilarious ๐Ÿ˜‚ It was the man with just a lead and no dog that had me really laughing ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿคฃglad you had a great run xx

2 likes
Reply

aaaah this post keeps on giving - I was shaking with laughter and sympathy by this point and didn't notice the man just had a lead!

3 likes
Reply

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Reply

If I'd not been in my bra I would have offered to help him look for his dog (not that he gave the impression he'd lost it) ๐Ÿ˜ณ

There are some odd people around here ๐Ÿ˜‚

3 likes
Reply

So much joy!

I too have known the urge to whip my shirt off in freezing weather while in the grip of a hot flush, alas Iโ€™ve always been with other runners - albeit in the dark - and never actually been brave enough to do it.

Glad you made it home safely. Hope you can get back on the 10K trail soon.

1 like
Reply

Ooh, it was a 'do or die' situation. If I'd not done that I think I may have jumped in the reservoir instead ๐Ÿ™ˆ

Bloody menopause..!! ๐Ÿ™„

Thank you, lovely ๐Ÿ˜Š

2 likes
Reply

๐Ÿ‘

1 like
Reply

You paint such a vivid picture ๐Ÿ˜‚. I'm so glad we got to run with you...... brought sunshine to my gray, gloomy day. My family is looking at me funny as I sit here chuckling to myself. I just can't explain it to them ๐Ÿ˜†

I'm thinking you may've taken more than a whiff and perhaps followed bike guy for awhile, inhaling deeply, resulting in a peeling of said clothes ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿคฃ

2 likes
Reply

I'm glad I brought my 'special kind of sunshine' to your day ๐Ÿ˜‚

If it hadn't have been so icy, I think I may have followed him for a while... but clearly I don't need to be stoned to throw off my clothes ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

2 likes
Reply

Oh that large inhalation of your cycling friends spliff seemed to work wonders, surely there will be reports of this on the evening news after the poor dog lead walker reports his narrow escape to the local constabulary.

Though would any police photofit artist be able to come up a true impression, my goodness just to see that picture

3 likes
Reply

Hahahaha, can you imagine..?? ... actually no, NO, don't imagine... it'll put you right off your Horlicks...!!!

1 like
Reply

Lol this little old pot bellied running machine, stumbling through the streets has sympathy for you, though thankfully I've been able to abandon the sports bra now as my man boobs are now less jiggley

1 like
Reply

Hahaha, I thought you were talking about me then... until you said 'less jiggley'

Then I feared you must be the man in the park walking his dog lead...!!!! Haha..!!

1 like
Reply

Even if I was I don't think I'd admit it lol

1 like
Reply

Pahaha...!!!! ๐Ÿ˜‚

1 like
Reply

tried to post a video of myself from last night running through the town draped in Christmas lights but for some reason cannot get it to upload

1 like
Reply

Now THAT I would love to see..!!

You'll have to do it again and try to uploadit ;)

1 like
Reply

Oh and I never even asked how you knew what a spliff smells like hahahahaha

1 like
Reply

Ah, buddy, we were all young once ๐Ÿ˜‰ ...

1 like
Reply

hahahahahaha

1 like
Reply

and we thought we'd invented it lol

1 like
Reply

Did we not..?? ๐Ÿ˜‚

1 like
Reply

oh I have always been very shy and retiring oh and your check is in the post pmsl

1 like
Reply

Yeah

Yeah

Yeah

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

1 like
Reply

'Hand in hand is the only way to land, always the right way round'. Bloody love The Cure, one of my all time favs... Love listening to them on vinyl, brings those days rushing back, very atmospheric.

Sounds like you ran a messy, muddy, drug-induced, topless blinder me dear! How come you get all the fun?!! Well done on getting back out there in such style, awesome stuff, go you!! :)

2 likes
Reply

"Not broken in pieces, like hated little meeces, how could we miss ... someone as dumb as thisssss"

Although there are some 'old days' I wouldn't care to come rushing back ๐Ÿ˜‚

I did have a chuckle today, but it's just the little things ๐Ÿ˜Š

You have fun too, with all your lurid characters ๐Ÿ˜‚ Told you before, we should hit the road together..!! ๐Ÿ˜‚

Xx

1 like
Reply

You rolled stoned. That's class, and perhaps should even be compulsory but only on ice, to add to the fun!

1 like
Reply

Haha, let's do it..!! ๐Ÿ˜‚

1 like
Reply

Would love to, that would be my best run yet!! But thereโ€™s no way Iโ€™m getting my kit off ... the world is NOT ready to see that... ever!! ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿคฃ

1 like
Reply

Ok, we shall keep our jigglies under wraps ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

1 like
Reply

More of a flap/slap than a jiggle if Iโ€™m honest ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคช

1 like
Reply

Oh God, weโ€™d definitely need to keep them under wraps... with us both flap/slapping, everyone will think weโ€™re giving them a round of applause ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

2 likes
Reply

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

1 like
Reply

Oh, my, that had me in stitches. A run of fire and ice with a drug trip thrown in. That was positively surreal. I dont have half as much fun on my runs!

1 like
Reply

It seems every time I go out running lately, I run through a fog of cannabis. It's like being in Amsterdam..!!

Look for the simplest things... they always make me laugh ๐Ÿ˜‚

Reply

Thereโ€™s a lot of it about. I ran past a whiff in the centre of Chipping Norton the other day.

1 like
Reply

Crikey, in Chipping Norton..?? There's no hope for the rest of us then..!!

1 like
Reply

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Itโ€™s probably the influx of ex East Oxford incomers .

1 like
Reply

Carry a bottle of water with you so you can 'extinguish' them ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‚

1 like
Reply

Im the woman who created blue Strava spaghetti by running round my living room, so I dont think I have the right to extinguish someone elseโ€™s madness ๐Ÿ˜‚

1 like
Reply

THAT is a very good point...!!! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

1 like
Reply

๐Ÿ˜‰

1 like
Reply

Oh my.. what a post .. what a run... go you....!!! Absolutely brilliant...!!! I feel a cartoon drawing coming on .... !!!!

1 like
Reply

It was a bit of a giggle... who'd have thought this running lark could be so enlightening ๐Ÿ˜‚

Haha, cartoon drawing sounds epic..!!

1 like
Reply

Hahaha! My family are giving me strange looks wondering why I am laughing. Great post thanks- my sympathy on the Piglet Pink - I know all about that!!๐Ÿ˜€

1 like
Reply

Haha ๐Ÿ˜‚

To be fair, it's quite a nice colour - but not when I look like piglet too ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

1 like
Reply

Oh, HITC. *Shakes head whilst shaking with laughter*. Glad you had a "fun" run. In your bra, too. You are my heroine. And bloody hell, 31 mins of running is fab. Sometimes a while off can actually improve your running, I fink. (PS I have a penis-shaped run from my early C25K days. Would post it, but this is not THAT kind of forum. ๐Ÿ˜ƒ)

Sadie-runs xx

1 like
Reply

Haha, it was bra running or die from a hot flush ๐Ÿ˜‚ I did much better than I thought I would, so Iโ€™m pleased ๐Ÿ˜Š Considering I only saw 2 people, it was pretty eventful ๐Ÿคฃ

Haha - after IannodaTruffe posted the picture challenge the other day, I went to plan a route on the map and discovered I live in the middle of a rather large, very obvious penis ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

XxX

Reply

Aww, fab post there, head in the clouds. It was like reading an exciting novel. You did it though, went out there and did it. As for the flushes, say no more, having those too often lately and the wave of nausea..... say no more, lol ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿคฃ Well done lovely xx

1 like
Reply

Haha, thank you lovely ... and I thought it was going to be a boring run ๐Ÿ˜†

Awww, this crazy hormone malarkey sucks doesnโ€™t it..??!!?? Iโ€™ll be glad when they finally bugger off and leave me alone ๐Ÿ˜‚ xx

1 like
Reply

Oh I know, believe me, lol. I see folk walking around with thick coats and hats on and there's me in a short sleeved top wiping streams of perspiration off me forehead ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ and that's before a run ๐Ÿคฃ

We'll get there, we will fight this, united we stand lovely ๐Ÿ˜ xx

1 like
Reply

Hahaha, not pretty is it..?? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Over 2 bloody years of ever changing (annoying and often surprising) symptoms. I feel sorry for those who have to live with us. Thank goodness I have the most laid back husband on the planet - although Iโ€™m not sure how heโ€™s still alive to be honest ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

Definitely united we stand (usually like this ... ๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช) ๐Ÿ˜‚ xx

Reply

Sounds like you enjoyed your run ๐Ÿ˜

Hereโ€™s to the next one ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿƒโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ธ

1 like
Reply

It was better than I anticipated, to be fair ๐Ÿ˜†

Yes, hopefully without ice, mud and bras ๐Ÿ˜‰

Reply

You've had me in stitches all the way! I always know if I have a bad run// embarrassing moment I can come over here and someone will put it in perspective for me. It's usually you :)

I've just started making my own run playlists and "Love Cats" features on the first. So great to run to.

1 like
Reply

Haha, thank you lovely, youโ€™ll often find a party going on over here (one โ€˜crazyโ€™ starts it and they all join in ๐Ÿ˜‚).

A bad run / embarrassing moment... laugh, bin it and move on (but not before youโ€™ve shared it) ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜†

Itโ€™s one of those that you just HAVE to screech to (no matter where you are) ๐Ÿ™„

Reply

Thankyou so much for your post. Great descriptions. Made me giggle a lot ( but in a good way). My friends at work have now christened me "Forrest Gump" and thats all I have to say about that!

Keep on running.

1 like
Reply

Thank you โ€˜Forrestโ€™, giggling is good (often the only thing that sees me through the day... and usually for no apparent reason) ๐Ÿ˜‚

Reply

Lost. For. Words. & coffee spluttered all over keyboard.

HITC, I nominate you for Zoological Society of London 'Streak for Tigers' 5km fun run 2018 ;-)

2 likes
Reply

Wow... that sounds amazing..!! Where do I sign..??

Completely naked .. ?? ... I'd have to 'roll' my boobs up and secure them with bulldog clips ;)

1 like
Reply

๐Ÿ˜€ sign up at zsl.org. Tiger body paint is the preferred modesty enhancer.

Bulldog clips??? I saw a documentary film about that... 50 Colours Grey or something (I forget the exact name).

1 like
Reply

Thank you, Iโ€™ve just been taking a look... I think Iโ€™ll be needing a pretty thick layer of tiger body paint to enhance my modesty ๐Ÿ˜ฑ ... but, hey, it is for the tigers ๐Ÿ˜„

Ahhhh, THAT documentary... I must make a point of watching it ๐Ÿ˜‰

Reply

Love Cats is brill!

1 like
Reply

One of my all time favourites :)

Reply

So wonderfully, wonderfully pretty ๐Ÿˆ. Looking at the singer you donโ€™t expect it. well I didnโ€™t ๐Ÿ™‚

1 like
Reply

Haha, that is very true ๐Ÿ˜‚

Reply

Wow...I feel like Iโ€™ve been out for another run today after reading this fabulous post...I can feel the absolute woo hooness of getting out there, you were determined to enjoy it & you did...fantastic...peeing down rain & mud...at one time wouldโ€™ve been an absolute no...but not anymore...itโ€™s exhilerating & it shines through in your post!!! Fantastic run....glad youโ€™re back out there sharing the air with your running family again!!! ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜˜๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰

1 like
Reply

Hey lovely..!! Thank you, it really did feel like absolute woo hooness (love that ๐Ÿ˜‚) to get my back side out there again... and whatโ€™s a bit of mud eh..?? ... Iโ€™ll wash up clean โ˜บ๏ธ Back on the wagon again, canโ€™t wait for the next one ๐Ÿค— xx

1 like
Reply

You may also like...