HELP!!!!

[KLHg]

I graduated quite awhile ago. I am massively proud of myself (and others like me) however I am still a lone snail (sorry to oldfloss for pinching) I still run alone, usually in the dark. I can't break through to the wider world. I run 6 k 2/3 nights a week. I am proud, a few months ago week 1 nearly killed me. My weight /figure is dramatically improved but I run in black and hide. I know these are my demons but I would like to hear others experiences to help me through my next barrier. HELP!!

[Sciencesue]

The way I figure it is I am out and running albeit it slowly ...and I’m big lass, and I also wear mostly black. I just smile and most times I just get a smile back. Honestly I’m just really proud of myself so I don’t give a hoot to naysayer ...they don’t know my story.. who are they to judge...

But truly I get a lot of genuine smiles returned to me ...if your really worried about being recognized maybe run further afield, and I hope you see most people will smile at you.

[KLHg Graduate in reply to Sciencesue]

Thank you. From another big lass in black lycra! Nothing wrong with slowly, running is running!!!

[Sciencesue in reply to KLHg]

Exactly ....

Slow and steady beat the couch 😜!

[Wantorun2013 Graduate]

Well done on you graduation and fantastic achievement of maintaining your running so regularly. It doesn’t matter how slow you run but that you are doing it because you can. I’ve a weight issue and l run very early morning (just going when lve finished this message) W8R2) it’s the only time l can fit it in. I live very rurally and never see anyone. When visiting home in Sussex a few weeks ago l wanted to carry on with my running so did 3 runs on the prom it was great boosted my confidence no end people nodded and smiled and l returned the same. Be brave and strong no matter what your story is and what your battles are and run with pride that you are running because You Can. 👍🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️👏

[KLHg Graduate in reply to Wantorun2013]

Thank you xx Hope you had a good one!

[Kmh1970]

Wow you graduated well done 👏 I'm only on W7 and I too am very slow! However, what I would say is have some self confidence - you are fantastic and stop worrying what others think - this is about you and you are exercising, feeling great and what an achievement!! That's so much more than many other couch spuds out there - bugger what they think!! Keep going and be bold and brave the daylight - in fact wear bright colours, LOUD and PROUD xx

[KLHg Graduate in reply to Kmh1970]

Week 7, massive achievement!!!! well done you. Slow isn't a problem, only not moving. Will look out for your badgexx

[JB173]

I am sure anyone that sees you will have nothing but respect and admiration that you're out there doing it & if they don't, then their opinion is completely irrelevant! You go for it & be proud of everything you have achieved & all the good things still to come 🏃🏽‍♀️💪☺ ❤️

[mcgurranhouse Graduate]

I used to look at people out running - regardless of their size or shape - and think what is the point in that. Now when I see someone running my first thought is - do I know them? Second thought is Good on them for getting out there! You are doing fabulously well. Congratulations on that beautiful, shiny, hard earned badge! Keep up the good work!

[rolysmate Graduate]

I now see runners as I never did before (we're everywhere) so many shapes, sizes, men and women, all ages, various styles of running (mines a controlled stumble) some dressed flamboyant others in drab hide away colours BUT you know what every one of them I see I just think awesome

Truth be told to most folk we're invisible and those that see us I suspect a lot will be envious of the fact that we are doing what we are doing.

bugger the world, get out there and enjoy and accept the envious glances of strangers

[KLHg Graduate in reply to rolysmate]

Will try to!!xx

[Gillma Graduate]

You touch on a fundamental challenge of life - how to be yourself in relationship to others without feeling judged by others or judging them. The answer might be to just keep doing what you’re doing. Keep going out there. Don’t over challenge yourself- wear black, if that feels comfortable, go out at dawn if that works for now - defiance doesn’t suit all of us. Above all know you’re fine as you are - right now. Oh - and I’ve discovered that eye-contact/smiling is your option. With my earphones in I sort of feel able to stay in my own world and others can simply be ‘extras’ that populate the scene where I am at the centre. It IS your run, no one else’s.

[Anniemurph Graduate]

Well done for graduating and for keeping running

Would you like someone to run with? Would that help, or would it make matters worse? If it might help, you could ask on here to see if there's anyone nearby who would meet up for a friendly run. It doesn't matter what stage anyone is at - it doesn't have to be a specific C25K run or a run of any distance, the point would be to run with someone, perhaps during the day.

I used to be very embarrassed about running because I was (still am) overweight and go read as a beetroot and get very sweaty. Then I realised how little most people actually notice you. Now, as many others have said, I don't care because I am doing this for me, not for them. Good luck with your quest to conquer your demons.

[schumigirl]

Do you have a local Park Run? This is a place you can go and run as slowly or as fast as you wish and no one will judge you ever.

[misswobble Graduate]

Enjoy your running., that’s an order! 😃. People are not judging you at all. Anyway it’s about you. You are out there getting fit and losing weight 👍

Put a great big smile on your face and go ! Go, go, go! yeeeeeeeeeha! 🏃‍♀️👍. It doesn’t need to be pretty, it doesn’t need to be fast. One foot in front of the other is just fine 🙂

[1slowcoach Graduate]

Go for it. If anyone comments on your speed just tell them you're ultra marathon training so need to go slowly

[Realfoodieclub Graduate]

I’m sorry you are feeling so self conscious. You have so much to be proud of. There is some good advice above. Would it help to feel like you have a virtual group with you? Or would that make you feel more under pressure. I’m sure we could summon up a few members to come on a virtual run with you so we all go out at the same time. If we made it 9am Saturday you could go out on your own but mentally think you are running with all our park runners behind you spurring you on and see how that feels. At that time at the weekend it is mainly runners who are out anyway 😀. Sometimes it is just getting over the first hurdle and then it all feels so much better.

[KLHg Graduate in reply to Realfoodieclub]

Great idea thank you, I am going to try the idea from Jancanrun. Make my end goal the park run but make a plan to take little steps to try to get there. As always the wise ones on the forum strike again!!!!

[Hidden]

Hey you’re doing fab and I think night running in black actually makes you a ninja!

If you want to literally come out of hiding, then maybe your own version of D2D (darkness to daylight) plan similar to C25K might work. I don’t know which elements scare you most, but if it is being seen, maybe just smiling or putting your hand up to the occasional passerby may help break that barrier. Taking little steps to break down our fears into manageable chunks can often help.

You are a runner, a good runner, a committed runner and I think everyone here makes great points, which I hope will encourage you.

A guy sniggered at me running the other day, but I was running and enjoying my time outdoors, all he was doing was sneering. You run for you and no one else. Good luck ninja

[KLHg Graduate in reply to Hidden]

A slightly rounded ninja!! Used to be much bigger though. I like the idea of setting myself a weekly plan, every one says "Park run" but the fear of that is massive to me. I do tend to get a bit obsessed with a challenge though. Maybe if I had a set of smaller goals... I'm going to go away and think about that. Thank you for the inspiration. xx

[Hidden in reply to KLHg]

Hey check out what I thought of Park Run here. We are not all the same at all in our attitudes, and I found it tough, so I don't blame you for thinking long and hard about doing it. Whatever route you choose, I am very impressed by your commitment to running, 18k or so a week, that's a great effort.

jancanrun.com/2017/11/19/fa...

[KLHg Graduate in reply to Hidden]

Wow, fab reading thanks... Amazing achievement. That seems really brave to me! and 10k at once (not there yet!) More to think about... Great playlist ideas too, I hadn't thought of some of those- Brilliant !!

[Hidden in reply to KLHg]

pleasure.... hope it helped

[JaySeeSkinny Graduate]

There’s nothing wrong with running alone - unless you want to run with others. You are doing brilliantly if you’re consistently running 6k 3x a week. You should be proud of yourself! And you’re doing nothing wrong!

If you do venture out you will find that other runners are very inclusive and other people just ignore us. It is a great feeling to exchange a conspiratorial grin with another runner or give each other the thumbs up. Try it, you’ll be surprised!

[neddytime Graduate]

Well done for graduating. As Schumigirl said try a parkrun if you have one not too far away. Check out their web page or Twitter feed and you will see how supportive it is. I recently joined the parkrun family and run usually on my own but with others around me. The volunteers are fantastic with lots of encouragement. No one worries about what anyone else is wearing. The main thing is that we are running! Good luck!

[KLHg Graduate in reply to neddytime]

Thank you

[LiisaM Graduate]

Whatever you do, I hope you don't give up running because you have achieved a really remarkable thing--running 6k! Wow! I would be lucky to do 3! Where I go (to the YMCA in the States,) there are people who are in wheelchairs paralyzed and CAN'T run. I think to myself how fortunate I am that 1) I am not on a couch and I run unlike those still on the couch with the telly, and 2) I have the use of my legs and am relatively healthy. Yes, I know how you feel because I am overweight and run slowly! However, today is a running day for me and I'm gearing up psychologically to get there and accomplish my day's running task. I will do this for myself because I will feel good for the exercise and for accomplishing it.

[KLHg Graduate in reply to LiisaM]

You know what, that helps. How self absorbed am I being. I hadn't thought of it like that. I was huge, now still rounded but I am lucky enough to still have the opportunity to do something about it. I run in a little village in Yorkshire, not so glam, but you're right, I can run. Time to count blessings, not whine about someone else seeing. Thanks for a much needed reality check! Hope you enjoyed today's run, and thank you.

[zbrown]

Well done for running the 6K AMAZING!! I'm still trying to get 5k done and struggling my body just can't do it but even though my training is taking 3 times longer than others, I don't care, still going and will get there!!!!

[Hidden]

What is it that you are scared of? What is the worst thing that can happen? There are lots of us out running alongside you We are tall and short, skinny and fat, we are young and old, we each have our own stories and some of us face amazing challenges, we run like athletes and we shuffle along, we are strong and full of doubt, we love to run, we hate to run.....

It seems to me that you just need to push yourself outside your comfort zone (if that is what you want of course!). Lots of good suggestions above and read too Fishypieface 's account of emerging from her garden for some inspiration (and a bit of a laugh!). Most of all keep running along with us. You are doing brilliantly!

[KLHg Graduate]

Thank you.

[Shelby1973 Graduate]

Hey come on , pull on those funky leggings and be seen . Snail pace r not ur covering 18k a week wow what an achievement xx

[KLHg Graduate]

No- one is ready for that!!

[Fishypieface Graduate]

I feel the same, I run in black mostly, I am so self conscious I go out about 6.30am so as not to be seen, there are still dog walkers, but I am beginning to not worry so much. Time and just keeping on doing it make a difference. I can feel myself changing very slowly, as the weeks go by. I started mid May and I've written several cringeworthy posts on how self conscious I feel/gremlins blah blah. But in spite of all of that, we are out there doing it and that makes us bl**dy awesome! I weighed myself today and I've lost half a stone. It's taken 6 months but I'm actually happy with that. If I hadn't have started this I would probably have put that weight on.

Well done for getting to 6k, you are doing just great

[KLHg Graduate in reply to Fishypieface]

Super amazing you !! I have to go at night due to hubby's shifts. Feeling less safe but my dog is getting awesome and coming too. I was mega big- having lost 3 1/2 stone + but I was a size 28!! I think I am a bit better with the self conscious thing but a park run seems a nightmare! I must admit, saying I can run 5K no probs is amazing but my massive weight has left my self-confidence in tatters. Two kids and breaking a leg then my foot has left me in a state. Thankfully all healed now! A post from another runner made me realise I was being self indulgent! I broke my leg, others are permanently in a wheelchair. I know being brave is the answer- I just need to go step by step. Most of all, I agree- we are awesome!! despite insecurities, we are running, we are being better and hopefully our lives will be better as a result. Thank youxx

[Fishypieface Graduate in reply to KLHg]

Erm, I think you are amazing! Well done on such fabulous weight loss, getting out there and doing it, in spite of your self consciousness, REALLY impressive... always remember that when you are out there, think of me out there too slogging and wobbling and I will think of you We are chuffing doing it!!!

It's lovely to hear everyones' stories on here, some people are going through a lot but you are not being self indulgent at all, you are doing something about your weight but it's hard work and you are allowed to feel that. Other people's stories push us on and give us perspective to keep going, keep on achieving the amazing things that you are

[KLHg Graduate in reply to Fishypieface]

Wobblers together!!!

[Fishypieface Graduate in reply to KLHg]

It’s the only way!! 😂