I've come through the door looking like I could give Lon Chaney and Boris Karloff a run for their money (sorry young 'uns, I'm showing my age - black and white a Hammer House of Horror style movie stars),. Mr R took one look at me and ran screaming into the distance... well upstairs to finish his tax return, which apparently is less scary than the apparition before him.
I started off really well, with Sami and MapMyRun working well together, and decided for the first 15 minutes I would try and set a good pace as I want to get my 5k time a bit faster. MMR confirmed I was doing well, and even dodging the odd patch of ice didn't put me off my stride.
The second 15 minute interval was good too, though a little slower, and I was beginning to feel confident that I'd outrun those pesky gremlins for a change.
So it was only in the final running interval that it all started to go awry. Something starting niggling at my ankle, then a hill appeared from nowhere, which I seemed to struggle to conquer, though I did keep going, taking gradually smaller and smaller steps until I was almost marking time on the spot. By the crest I was worried I would get a stitch, but started some deep belly breathing and seemed to be ok, but now the niggle in my ankle was spreading upwards and I had a tight feeling in my calf. This crept upwards to my knee, and I was begging Sami to let me end it all ( running that is, not life). She was keeping suspiciously quiet - she may be in league with the gremlins I thought. And another gremlin seemed to have stopped the hands on my wristwatch from moving round too!
After what seemed an age, Sami eventually called time, but not until the discomfort had spread past my knee and into my thigh. I was puffing and panting, and as the cramp set in I started limping into the final walk. Then the cramp got worse, unsure that I would make it home, I contemplated phoning Mr R to come out and collect me in the car. But that would be too embarrassing so I soldiered on, almost dragging my leg behind me like some monster from a horror film.
I pushed my arms in front of me to get through the door, my face contorted and red and blotchy, my leg dragging on the floor behind me. My head bowed forward and my back arched as I attempted to do my stretches, looking like some strange and horrific combination of Frankenstein's monster, The Mummy and Quasimodo all rolled into one.
Now for a hot shower and some massage oil to help me become human again.