Looking for friends to support one another - Couch to 5K

Couch to 5K

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Looking for friends to support one another

allornothing profile image
52 Replies

I am in Peacehaven Sussex- is there anyone around who would like to do this with me- we can support one another.

The Ugly truth- I am queen procrastinator. I damaged my back and have been on some heavey painkillers. The same time my thyroid went from overactive (I looked anorexic) to underactive....and I put on more and more weight...I am now no longer a dress size 6-8 I am a 14-16 and 13 stone....I hate how ugly I am..I have social anxiety after a history of being abused..and it all feeds into my depression and my pain which I am in constant supply of feeds my lack of motivation and I eat because I feel so crappy. My mood is ,...well...it's really bad sometimes.I have to do something. The sad thing is I was a gold medal long distance and sprint runner and so active through school. Now look at me....how things change. I am 35 now. I don't want to die. I don't want diabetes. My birth mother(I'm adopted) died at 36 from cirrhosis of the liver due to alcoholism. i am FASD diagnosed too since I was 6. Things just are not going to sort themselves...I know some of the meds I am on don't help my weight...I want to come off them but my dr refuses. I want to do this. I NEED to and I have to do it NOW. I am about to move home (still peacehaven) so I am under a lot of stress. Much of is it unnecessary stress I put on myself. I want to get well. Please if there is anyone like me out there or you are feeling brave we could be good support for one another and honestly? I could do with the company. I don't go out, I haven't left the house for years....I don't even have any friends. It's not that I am unlikable..I just..don't know how to approach people but I want to. So if there is anyone who is interested nearby...please let me know!!

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52 Replies
jo4t15 profile image
jo4t15Graduate

Oh gosh, you've got a lot on your plate. Welcome to this forum. We all have our own reasons for running, but you will have a lot in common with a lot of us, just maybe not all at once! Most of us have felt failures ( last to be picked at games!) or want to get fitter/ slimmer/ healthier in body or mind. The programme is brilliant and it does work, but you have to be kind to yourself. Start slow and, if struggling, go slower. It is not a race and just starting is the first step. Walk it if you need to. Getting outside, even for a walk, will do you the power of good.

You'll get lots of support. Sorry I'm not closer to where you live, but virtual buddies will all cheer you on from a distance.

Good luck and keep us all posted.

allornothing profile image
allornothing in reply to jo4t15

I don't know why but seeing someone has replied has brought me to tears. They are happy ones though. I just am so grateful I can't tell you how much it means to hear back from someone-THANK YOU- I have got to do this or I will spend my life wondering where my life has gone, and that's if I don't have a heart attack, stroke or get far worse in health. I look at my daughter and I know I have to be there for her or she will hate me..thank you so kindly for such lovely words of advice. I appreciate them more than there are words for. Nice to meet you jo4t15. :) I will take what you said and heed those words carefully. Good luck to you also.

MarkyD profile image
MarkyDGraduate

Oh Kaz, I feel for you. You're in a dark place and wanting to come out into the light. Our community here will embrace you, we are well-known for our support, encouraging words, motivation: we're an oasis of niceness in the desert of the internet. People post honestly here and get positive, truthful replies. Over time we can develop your trust and be your online running friends.

I'm sure that she won't mind being called out, but Siobhan amateurwriter has really benefited from running, physically and emotionally. You might look up some of her posts. And we all feel a tiny bit responsible because of the encouragement we gave her, and now the national charity Headstart have recognised her as an ambassador.

You have made the first step on the road to a new you. You desire to grab control of your situation. You can do this, you really can. Post here as often as you like, let's build you up and get you back to long distance and sprint running. You will need to get outside for long distance running, but we can cross that bridge when the time comes.

I do want you to do one thing for me, though. Do you think that you can change your username? In a year from now when you are in control and feeling more positive, do you still want to be known here as <deleted>? I checked, and the username Golden is still available. That would suit you.

We can help. Best wishes

Mark

allornothing profile image
allornothing in reply to MarkyD

Mark thank you so much for your reply, such words of encouragement..I tried Golden but it was gone I don't think I was quick enough but "Allornothing" is what I have altered it to because it really has to be all or nothing. "Get busy living or..." so I am going to listen carefully to what you have all said to me- I have followed amateurwriter and read her biog. An inspiring lady indeed. Thank you for everything, sincerely. All the ebst to you, Karen (Kaz)

MarkyD profile image
MarkyDGraduate in reply to allornothing

Hello AllOrNothing. That's better.

melly4012 profile image
melly4012Graduate

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. This forum is the most fabulous place. I have never come across or heard of anywhere on the internet with people who are as inspirational, kind and encouraging as here. It's incredible how, although it feels so hard to start with, exercise lifts your mood so much and makes you feel so good (this won't be news to you if you used to enjoy it so much).

I used to make so many excuses not to start journeys like this one; I don't have time, I feel silly, people will judge me, I'm no good at exercise, etc, etc. Sometimes it's just a matter of taking the first step, perhaps going for a half hour walk a few times if your back can manage it? If you can work up to the Couch to 5k programme then post each time you run and you'll get a plethora of support and encouragement from everybody and before you know it you'll be on the way back to a fitter, healthier, happier you! You'll be so proud of your achievements each step of the way too and you'll feel so good about yourself. Many people on here have progressed on to parkruns and joined running clubs so it seems that running can be as social or as solitary as you like.

Perhaps take that first step of putting some time aside just for you and head out for a nice, gentle walk and see how you feel afterwards?

Good luck, keep posting on the forum, everyone here will look after you.

allornothing profile image
allornothing in reply to melly4012

Melly- thank you. Yes I used to get such a buzz from it, not because I did well, but because it felt good to be doing it; a passion if you like. Now I make all the excuses and I annoy myself with them. I really don't do myself any favours. All that is about to change. I guess I am worried about gaining weight -even if it is Muscle- and worried about losing weight too fast so I am left with the "excess skin thing" you know..not too attractive to have an apron of skin around your middle! I really hope I can lose enough of it to fit ideally into a size 12 dress (not too unrealistic I hope) and build muscle enough so that I don't have muscle atrophy from having not exercised in (toooooo long). Mark suggested I change my username from FATKaz, but the truth is I chose it so I would look at it and it would be a reminder to myself the reality of the situation (I am Fat.) Not Obese but my BMI can't be good I don't know what it is...I will go to my doctor which I am dreading because it means sitting in a waiting room filled of people...but I need to go to get review on my levothyroxine..I am convinced I am on the incorrect dose) but I digress, the name was a reminder of my disgusting pitiful state. But I understand what he meant so that is why I changed it, because I don't want to make myself feel lower than I already do or that won't help and yes, in a year when (hopefully) I am at a healthier state, I want to look back shake my head and ask "why didn't I do this sooner?" Thank you for your advice-all of you. I feel so moved that I have only just joined and already such warm welcoming words to a complete stranger. I am honoured to meet every single one of you, inspiring awesome people. Good luck to you. My heartfelt thanks.

Karen (Kaz)

melly4012 profile image
melly4012Graduate in reply to allornothing

I agree with Mark - All or Nothing is much better and when you graduate the c25k in a couple of months time you can look back on how much has changed and how far you've come because you gave it your all :)

Your journey starts here, Kaz, and we'll all be with you along the way.

dddd4 profile image
dddd4Graduate

I'm not near you but this is the place to be for support with your running and you may find it a good programme for building your confidence and belief in what you can achieve. Good luck getting started on the c25k.

allornothing profile image
allornothing in reply to dddd4

dddd4- Thank you very much, and the same to you. I appreciate your post, it means a lot to me.

Karen (Kaz)

dddd4 profile image
dddd4Graduate in reply to allornothing

Have a try at wk1 run 1 on the podcast. You will meet Laura who talks you through what to do. Let us know how you get on.☺

allornothing profile image
allornothing in reply to dddd4

I have downloaded them all. I just need to find something to play them on now so I can take them out. Then I will get right on it- the sooner I do this the better. I am 50-50 here. 50% dreading it and 50% excited to be doing it. I will post as soon as I am done. :)

PippiRuns profile image
PippiRuns in reply to allornothing

I use my phone.

Realfoodieclub profile image
RealfoodieclubGraduate

Welcome to our little forum. We are a very supportive bunch and come from all different backgrounds. I know the hardest part is the first step out the door. After that I promise it feels easier. I see so many hesitating over the first step then smile to my myself as they come and request their graduation badge. Start of with a little walk and see how yoiu feel. Running is so good for so many different reasons. Confidence being a big part of it. Good luck and let us know how you get on.

allornothing profile image
allornothing in reply to Realfoodieclub

Thank you kindly. It is such a warm place and that is hard to find usually in an internet environment. I look forward to graduating! Will be the first thing I have achieved in a while other than sitting on my rear end for record time. (I wonder if guinness world record would agree.) though to be serious for a moment- I have asked the other half for his Technology player-thingy so I can listen to the podcasts. So now I have a fitbit and one of those. (Don't ask me HOW they work, I will have to ask him for lessons because other than using a computer for writing my books I suck at technology.) I think I am ready to put on my bridget jones's supportive underwear and don the shorts and runners tomorrow. OK. Let's do this. *breathes*

amateurwriter profile image
amateurwriterGraduate

Hi allornothing,

You have definitely come to the right place, one thing to remember is take it at your own pace, it is a 9 week programme, but it shouldn't make you go on to the next week if you don't feel up to it, it took me just over 11 months to graduate so take your time,

I hope you come back and post as you progress, I'm pretty tired right now I'm really sorry this isn't longer, everyone on here knows how much I can write which if it was a competition and I'd win but be too busy typing to go collect my prize lol,

Any questions, worries, anything at all, good or bad, we are here to help and support you, I will probably add more to this tomorrow when I'm not so tired (brain injury is what causes me to be so tired a lot of the time, I'm sure you read that in my profile) :)

Take care and as the saying goes the first step is always the hardest and you're taking that step in helping yourself,

Siobhan x

allornothing profile image
allornothing in reply to amateurwriter

Siobhan I did read your profile yes as recommended, and you are one inspiring lady let me tell you. I feel honoured to meet such a truly fantastic bunch of people in one place. You sound like me with the length at which you can write. - Also "amateurwriter" does that imply you like writing for a passion? If so then from one writer to another- very good to meet you! And don't stop writing. It can be a fabulous release. (I write children's stories and Poetry predominantly but I do write a variety of other things as well.) It's another passion of mine, but one that has not waned, but grown stronger over the years -something I am not sure would have happened to the success it has if I were not such a hermit, though my hermit days are coming to an end now as I plan to rekindle my old passion of running. Writing has been my emotional release though if I am honest, seeing me through a lot of difficult situations, and been the tool with which I have fought off the darkness. I won't give up writing because I adore it but my decision to sort my life out now and give it "allornothing" may just mean that my writing takes a different direction -who knows I may even publish my next book about my journey from "fat to fit" if it is interesting enough and if it could inspire others as much as I have been inspired by you all so far. Thank you genuinely for your post, I feel blessed to have met you all, such wonderful characters with vast iron strength. May we meet again!

Karen (Kaz)

Lochie68 profile image
Lochie68

Hi and welcome, I'm just new to this myself, week 3, but after years of bad diet, NO excersise and then ill health I decided enough was enough and started cycling to try and lose weight (6 stone) we'll just not mention BMI 🙈

Lost 4 1/2 stone then swithered about doing something like this for a long time. TBH I stumbled on this by accident but it was the welcome and encouragement from even before I started that made me determined to give it a go. Best decision in a long time.

I'm not anywhere close to giving advice, but I ask for lots, all I would say since you've got an injury that could be exacerbated by inpact make sure you have shoes that will help this as much as possible. I bought new shoes within a week and when I got them the difference was very noticeable. I'm not saying expensive just the right shoes.

Good luck and I look forward to seeing your progress 😄

allornothing profile image
allornothing in reply to Lochie68

Thank you for your advice re- the shoes. Luckily I have a good pair of runner. Decent footwear is important to me- not only does it support the bones of the Metatarsals (feet bones) its supports ankles and enables good growth. For me it also takes off some of the impact to my back. It is severely damaged and my mobility is vastly affected, part of why it has been so difficult to do anything because of the excruciating agony I feel when I do- BUT I would rather be in agony and have a healthier heart/weight than not do anything and just keep piling on the pounds. I will deal with the pain somehow. Maybe I will use it 'no pain no gain' sort of thing. Thanks again!

Pushing60 profile image
Pushing60Graduate

Hi and welcome allornothing. Well done for taking the plunge, getting started is the hardest part but by signing up to this forum you will receive heaps of encouragement, advise and motivation.

Although I'm on or about to start week 9 I am no expert, the only advise I can give is to read everyone's posts. We have all struggled and all received plenty of support. No one is on their own on here. Everyone is lovely and wants to see you progress through the programme and watch your confidence grow.

You can do this, we are all cheering you on.

allornothing profile image
allornothing in reply to Pushing60

Thank you so much for your words of wisdom and kindness. I appreciate it so much. Week 9 seems so far away to me right now but I AM determined to conquer myself in order to do this. I have to. Sometimes you just have to be honest- brutally honest with yourself. I know I can also be my own worst enemy when it comes to being hard on myself. Perhaps I figure if I beat myself up first then nobody else will. I don't know why I do it- the whole negative thing. It isn't a healthy thing at all. But perhaps this is also part of my depression. Running I KNOW will do me the world of good. But like you say getting started is often the hardest part. Thank you kindly.

OldWheezer profile image
OldWheezer

Hi Kaz. Others have said it all really I just wanted to wish you all the very best. I do admire that you've taken the first step to make such a positive change to your life and you'll get lots of support from everyone here.

I could hardly be further from you in the uk but there is a link at the right hand side of the screen labelled "week 1" where you may find virtual running partners who are at the same stage.

I look forward to reading further posts on your progress.

Go get week 1 run 1.

allornothing profile image
allornothing in reply to OldWheezer

Hello. I have downloaded all the podcasts now to ITunes and I have access to them through my iPhone (it took some fiddling about to do all that as I am not very technology-friendly!) But now that I have I am ready to "go get week 1 run 1" I spent the day gathering equipment together, ipone carry case that goes around my arm, headphones, runners, shorts, tee-shirt, zipper jacket, carry water bottle, small pouch for keys, inhaler and a couple of plasters just in case I fall over! Haha. I am going to begin this tomorrow- come rain or shine, the world is mine! Thank you for your lovely message of inspiration.

OldWheezer profile image
OldWheezer in reply to allornothing

I like the attitude 'come rain or shine'. I hope it shines though. Good luck and remember to post.

PippiRuns profile image
PippiRuns

As you can see, you have come to the right place for support and encouragement. Now, tie those shoes and do w1r1. Can't wait to hear your report! You can do this, you can definitely do this!

allornothing profile image
allornothing in reply to PippiRuns

I think the hardest part for me having not left the home in several years will be the first few steps outside and trying to stave off the onset of panic feeling that it brings. But I am going to give it my best, and I've everything ready now to do it. You have all been so lovely to me and for that I can only say thank you but really words do not do justice to how grateful I really am. So thank you for your inspiring post. I will report after I have made the plunge.

Tombenoly profile image
TombenolyGraduate

Hi all or nothing well come to running! You have motivation to change and that's the biggest hurdle. I don't have story like yours but I am a foster carer of children with high levels of trauma so spend my days raising their self esteem onto the best they can be and i also have an under active thyroid. Iam slogging my way through wk 7 and on wk 1 could not run for 60 s. I can't run with any one as no one is that slow and I would not have any spare breath to talk! Take it Slow and your mental wellbeing will do wonders.

allornothing profile image
allornothing in reply to Tombenoly

What you do for children is the most wonderful gift you could give- from someone who has been through the system of fostering then lucky enough to be adopted, THANK YOU. You don't know how valuable you are, and it can seem like you are under appreciated by the children you foster and by social services at times (when I was in foster care I hated it and had no understanding or appreciation for my carers or what they had given me, but as I grew up I realised just how important they were in my life.) please keep on doing what you are doing. One day those children will come back to you and say thank you. :) Thank you for your kind words- and thank you for raising MY self esteem too. Good luck to you!

Slinkyminky profile image
SlinkyminkyGraduate

Hi Allornothing

Welcome to such a fantastic group. It really is a great decision you've made to start this journey and this forum is the best place for words of support and encouragement.

Good Luck today and let us know how you get on with wk1 Run1 x

allornothing profile image
allornothing in reply to Slinkyminky

Thank you very much and that is an awesome username! I look forward to seeing you around, thank you for your support x

Oldfloss profile image
OldflossAdministratorGraduate

You have all the answers right here.

So, it is up to you now;

" Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can".

Rest assured, we will be there, with you, on every step of your journey. x

allornothing profile image
allornothing in reply to Oldfloss

Thank you - that's excellent advice and encouragement - thank you so much! x

Oldfloss profile image
OldflossAdministratorGraduate in reply to allornothing

... and you will do this.... :)

allornothing profile image
allornothing in reply to Oldfloss

Yes, I will! :)

mfamilias profile image
mfamiliasGraduate

Hi there Kaz! If I was closer I'd be proud to come and run with you, but I'll join the throng of supporters and wave my (now legendary) pompoms for you from the Languedoc vineyards.

Well done for deciding to hit the nail on the head. Getting back in control and feeling that you are actively deciding where you are going is, IMHO, the most important part of C25K. YOU ARE IN CHARGE. Get yourself a copy of "Running like a Girl" - a fun, motivating and very real story of someone who went from zero running to marathons.

From now on, please be your own best friend, believe in yourself, and please stop being so self-deprecating. Eliminate the words "disgusting", "fat" and "ugly" from your vocabulary... Hell, kiddo, you deserve better! You are the first person you have to convert into a "Kaz fan". So replace all your negative adjectives with "sassy", "beautiful", "determined" and "kick ass", and keep us posted - we're all rooting for you. Keep us posted xxx

allornothing profile image
allornothing in reply to mfamilias

I hear every words you wrote to me, and I take it under advisement. You are right. Thank you so much for what you said. It really drives home to me that I need to address some negativity and the way in which I look at some things; mostly in myself. It has become a terrible habit of putting myself down, and you're right about getting the control back too. It's high time I became proactive instead of procrastinator. Thank you very kindly. xxx

mfamilias profile image
mfamiliasGraduate in reply to allornothing

"Proactive" is a funny old word. It sounds like a brand of natural yoghurt :)

poppypug profile image
poppypugGraduate

First of all, Big hugs (((( ))))

Welcome to our family ! Your post made me well up , you seem in such a dark place and I just cannot imagine how horrible your early childhood must have been. Have you seeked help with support for that ? Just a suggestion of course , its your call xxx

Kaz, youre young, you've got your whole life in front of you . You can make small changes that will make a HUGE difference in your physical and emotional well being . Have a clear out of all the crap food in your cupboards. If its not there you cant have it , I did this and what a difference ! Now I am loathe to bring anything like that into the house , because I know if its there , I will have it :-)

Theres lots of lovely, supportive people on here . People who have never exercised since school, all ages, all abilities, normal , everyday people with amazing success stories , all through starting this amazing programme .

You CAN do this , we will be here to support you every step of the way , I promise .

Make that change Kaz, do this for YOU .

Please keep posting letting us know how you've gone on . Good Luck ! :-) xxx

allornothing profile image
allornothing in reply to poppypug

* Hugs * Yes I have had counselling, seen a variety of therapists, psychologists, group therapy, one 2 one therapy, PTSD( Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) therapists, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) which was the most useful one I went to. I have had counselling throughout the various stage of my life and will continue to for the rest of my life at intervals I expect. Its difficult to clear out the crap from my cupboards when I have no control over this aspect at the present time...my partner is a controlling man with the finances and because I have not left the home he took over things like the food shopping- everything really.. and to make matters worse he utterly refuses to buy in or allow any organic or health foods regularly so it is rare that there are enough healthy things to go around- I ensure our daughter gets what there is and thank GOD she gets her main meals at school. Luckily she is in great shape and health. It's just said that he is so arrogant and stubborn that he sees healthy eating as "a gimmick" it makes me really angry and upset that he won't listen to anyone but himself. It is another aspect of my life that needs addressing somehow...hopefully this will give me the confidence to speak out again and not let him keep shouting me down. :(

HeatherGrrr profile image
HeatherGrrrGraduate

Your post really really moved me - I wish I did live nearby so I could give you a huge hug, and meet up for a natter and confidence boost on a regular basis! I'm also hermit-like at times, and find it difficult to go out and meet new people, so to that extent I totally understand where you're coming from. This forum was such a huge boost for me, in so many ways. I hope you will find the "lovely people who live in the computer" just as friendly, funny and supportive as I have (I know you will!).

It sounds like you've had a really rough time in life due to others (and ill health), not due to your own actions, but now you're beating yourself up for the outcomes of that. My favourite saying is 'be kind to yourself' - if a loved one came to you and told you all the things you've told us, about how they felt and what they'd been through, what would you say to them? You'd tell them not to be so hard on themselves, and you'd encourage them to do the things that will make them happy. The same goes for you :).

C25K can be hard work, but it is SO rewarding and addictive! I loved it, even on the mornings when I really didn't want to get out of bed (my trick was to put on my gear and promise myself I could stop after the warm up walk if I wanted to - I always ended up doing the run as well!). Follow all the advice on here from people who have been through it, and take it slow and steady. Always slower than you think you should! It's a misleading name, because it's really Couch-to-30mins. There are very very few people who can do 5K in 30mins by the end (if ever!), and the aim is more about building up fitness over a sensible amount of time. It also doesn't have to be a 9 week programme - again, I think very few do it in exactly 9 weeks. Life can get in the way sometimes, or one week might just feel like a step too far and you need to repeat weeks/runs. None of that is failing in any way, it's about listening to your body and doing what is right for you.

Welcome to the nice side of the internet, and good luck! We're all here rooting for you, so keep us posted on the good AND the bad days, and BE KIND TO YOURSELF! :)

allornothing profile image
allornothing in reply to HeatherGrrr

Firstly whether your run is another's walking speed or a sprint- you are still awesome for doing it. Thank you so much for writing all you did. There have been so many kind responses, so much support and encouragement that it is almost difficult to keep up. I want to group hug every single one of you. " I hope you will find the "lovely people who live in the computer" just as friendly, funny and supportive as I have (I know you will!)." I definitely HAVE so thank you very much and I will try to be kind to myself and change the way I think about things. I am going to start tomorrow and have everything I need ready. I am nervous about leaving the house but excited to come back and report that "I did it!" I hope I don't let myself or any of you down. Thank you so much for everything you have no idea what reading that meant. xxx

Slinkyminky profile image
SlinkyminkyGraduate in reply to allornothing

You're not going to let us or yourself down tomorrow because you are so going to do this and make us and yourself proud!

Good luck tomorrow and we will all be there alongside you x

Cairokitten profile image
CairokittenGraduate

Dear Kaz, From 30th June I will be in Brighton for the summer. I am currently on Week 7 but have realised today (first time at the gym) that my "running" is actually an average walking speed. My life is going to be a bit disrupted in the next couple of weeks so you have time to get on with starting and we can walk/run/jog together next month perhaps. I am definitely more overweight than you and have a few health issues as well. Let me know if you want to meet up!

allornothing profile image
allornothing in reply to Cairokitten

I am in the Newhaven end of Peacehaven so Brighton is quite far away for me but if I can organise some transport then I will let you know and would love to meet up if it's no trouble! Thank you kindly for your offer. That was really lovely of you. I hope you enjoy Brighton- it's a wold place but plenty to do :)

Cairokitten profile image
CairokittenGraduate in reply to allornothing

We could meet somewhere in the middle or I can even come to you. Public transport isn't too bad along the coast there. I have a flat in Brighton I lived there for 6 years before moving abroad. Looking forward to being there in the summer!

Beccym profile image
BeccymGraduate

Having suffered from a bout of depression earlier this year, exercise will help. Though part of the vicious cycle of anxiety and depression is finding the motivation.

Like others have said try to be kind to yourself, I found mindfulness really helped me but I know it's not for everyone.

We are lucky we get to run/walk in a wonderful part of the country. I am in Brighton but am a slow graduate it took me 2 years to get the full 9 weeks completed with stopping and starting. I could come and meet you somewhere in the middle? I run around Hove lawns area be warned I often don't brush my hair before morning runs.

allornothing profile image
allornothing in reply to Beccym

Yes I know of Hove lawns, I am in the Newhaven end of Peacehaven so it's a long way out for me and I don't drive but as I said to Cairokitten above if I am able to find transport then I would like to meet up. PS- I don't mind about the hair! Let it fly to the wind!! Thank you for your words of encouragement!

allornothing profile image
allornothing

Thank you ALL of you- you are the nicest bunch of internet people I have ever met. I have never heard so many kind, honest, encouraging and inspirational things from a group of strangers I have never met. There is something wonderful about that- and about the internet as a tool to meet fantastic people from all over the world. It is an absolute HONOUR to meet you all and rest assured that everything you all said to me has not fallen upon deaf ears but has been taken in and processed carefully. I know there are a few aspects of my life which need addressing fast. I aim to do that one step at a time. Thank you for your brutal honesty and support all of you. I can only hope that I can encourage and support others as you have to me. My gratitude, sincerely.

Regards,

Karen (Kaz)

LinaLamont profile image
LinaLamontGraduate

Hi, I'm not sure I can add a lot more to the fantastic replies above, but I just wanted to show additional solidarity! I have also social anxiety and depression and I know what a horrible combination that is. I would often get stuck in these traps of negative thinking and self-criticism and feel paralysed by my own negativity. So I just wanted to say, I totally empathise!

I first started c25k in August last year, finished by November and promptly gave up for almost six months because things were getting me down. I restarted it in February around the time I started CBT for the first time. These two things have really helped turn things around for me. I can still feel low sometimes, because that's the nature of the beast, but when I do, I can tell myself 'Well LinaLamont, remember that time you ran 30 minutes without stopping? Whoda thunkit?' The programme is perfect because the slow build up is so empowering!. You don't start off trying to run 5k straightaway, you do what you can manage and then you move on. Then you can look back at past weeks and marvel at your progress. And Laura, the person on the podcast who tells you when to run, is very nice and encouraging. So basically exercise helps! And as you go through the programme, you will be able to look at yourself in the mirror and marvel what you can do, and stop being quite so critical of yourself.

I'm sorry to read your partner hasn't been more supportive especially regarding being healthy. For sure there are a lot of stupid fads out there (I for one am very skeptical of 'clean' eating) but being healthy doesn't have to be like that. If you are interested, I would highly recommend the Weight Loss forum on here and you may want to take a look at the NHS 12 week weightloss plan. It's very much centred around making gradual healthy changes and habits that will last you for life. I don't follow it strictly myself for various reasons but lots of others have to great success.

I know it's so much easier said than done, but be kind to yourself - do what YOU need to do for YOU. You sound like a very kind person especially regarding your daughter - this time be kind to yourself. You have done something incredible and brave by even posting on here, as this is a wonderful forum, and I also really appreciate that you are willing to show your vulnerability, which can such be a difficult thing to do! More people should be like that I reckon. I applaud you.

Lots of hugs to you. I don't live near Peacehaven, but I'm in SW London kind of the right corner of the earth?! *googles to see where Peacehaven is*

allornothing profile image
allornothing in reply to LinaLamont

It sounds like we have much in common with how depression and anxiety cycles. CBT was great for me but as you said, still get down days and such is the nature of the beast. If you can do it I can too. I've already downloaded some healthy meals that are easy to make and that I think I can sneak bit by bit into the husband's plate without him being too upset. I WILL get the control back for myself and I WILL show him that healthy eating is a good thing and doesn't require heavy diets or fads. This house needs an attitude change. I need an attitude change. Right now I need to concentrate on doing this for myself as you all say- and I will. My mission thereafter will be to in showing others that they can do it too. That will begin at home. I hope also to lend support and the return of friendship to all of you and extend my thanks once again and to you LinaLamont for showing me that it is not impossible to get out there and tackle the clutches of anxiety and depression. Thank you kindly for everything. I wish you the best of luck! You're awesome!

Well that's it!

No more excuses for me. No more negative. Now it's time for some sleep or I will be exhausted for tomorrow and that will NOT be a very sensible start. Goodnight all, and I look forward to posting my progress tomorrow. :)

(Peacehaven is a coastal town which is an extension of Telscombe Cliffs in south east England between Brighton and Saltdean to the west and Newhaven and Eastbourne to the far east. It's in the South Downs so I am incredibly lucky to have such a range of beautiful coast or hilltop walks/runs that I'll be making use of.)

LinaLamont profile image
LinaLamontGraduate in reply to allornothing

thanks for the lovely reply. best of luck to you!!! make sure post back when you've done your first run and let everyone know how you've got on.

you can definitely do this. it won't always be easy but it will be worth it. c25k (and the weight loss plan) is really good for taking things one step at a time so just follow it as much as possible. if you need it don't be afraid to repeat runs or take extra rest days - I'm sure most people have to do it.

take care xxx

ps. i'm jealous of your coastal runs! make the most of it :)

b275 profile image
b275Graduate

WOW I wish I lived nearer. We, all your new virtual friends will be here for you!!

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