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Hail Caesar! News of the Golden Chariot! (Part Two)

(For those of you watching on catch-up this is Sunday's episode)

Sauntering down to the hippodrome this morning - wearing my natty new white tunic with gold epaulettes - I considered the fact that as Caesar I can simply appropriate the chariot.

Questioning the youth at the entrance I discovered it is maintained by a member of the senate - maybe that's where I should start. It seems it belongs to one of my most trusted senators! This will not do! We will discuss this at a later date and I will take it.

But then, said senator is also a gladiator - out on gladiatorial duty today - so possibly I'll approach the topic tomorrow, gently. (No, that is not cowardly.)

Today's instalment starts with shocking news about the chariot -

The youth at the hippodrome has snitched on me! Said gladiator is approaching. Heavens above, if we were in the Senate building I'd be fine - no harm can come to me within. I'm not, of course, panicking - leaders such as I have no need to fear those around me - I'm just a little nervous. How do I raise the topic without causing trouble at the Senate building? Do Caesar's ever get lynched? Surely not!

Ah, the chariot has come up in conversation naturally. It seems the senator/gladiator is still in a good mood following a monumental victory two days ago.

But shock, horror!!!


Apparently in a former incarnation I was a brave, fearless king on a valiant quest (sounds a bit familiar doesn't it) for a trolley and a coffee and walnut cake(?).

It seems I succeeded in my quest, I even organised a successful 30min per event charity triathlon, then disappeared into the hills one day never to be seen again.

(I wondered why I received so many C25K messages when I strolled into the forum the other day while looking for my mojo - it was my old army welcoming me back.)

Anyway, the strolls are still going well and the weigh bridge didn't creak as much when I crossed it this morning, so all is looking encouraging. The gladiator says I can have the chariot back when I deserve it. PAH! The cheek!

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Good news oh illustrious leader!

The bad news though is I think the chariot will be up on the ramps for a while having it's wobbly wheel fixed and a drop of myrrh on its squeaky joints, not to mention a bit of work on the tartan. I think the addition of a few gold spangly bits - as befits one of your station - wouldn't go amiss.

Leave it with me, your trusted serf.

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Afternoon Caesar, good to hear the perambulations around the Hippodrome are going well and producing pleasing movement of the weigh bridge. Veni. Ambulabam, Perdidi pondus. (Gotta love Google Translate!)

So, do I detect the hint of another quest in the air? Oh I do love a good quest, especially one with a happy ending. Is noble Caesar going to battle his way back to Trolleydom (as in the state on being in possession of a trolley)? Trusted Senator has made a fair and generous offer to return the trolley when the time is right. You never know, she may even include a packet of JD and a bottle of Tizer from Poundland if you play your cards right.

See ya, Caesar xx


I wish for no mere trolley - it is surely a venerable chariot, golden, with plumes of purple feathers denoting my importance amongst those at the market. The hoplites need to know who's in charge.


Whoops, beg pardon! A golden chariot with all the trimmings, of course, as befits your status. Not sure where to get purple plumage these days, not since Danny La Rue hung up his feather boa, but we plebs are a resourceful lot and Caesar's word is law. We have a wee bit of time to achieve the necessary level of adornment, whilst you get battle ready, then those Hoplites will need sunglasses to gaze on the spectacle. In the meantime, I need to think of some suitably heroic music to herald the appearance of this vision of splendour.


Have chariot, will travel. World's our oyster with Caesar in the driving seat. Today Poundland, tomorrow we move on Rome.

Ooops, sorry Caesar, you give the orders obviously

Retreats backwards whilst tugging forelock


Tomorrow we move on Rome? That's where we are. Tomorrow we cross the Rubicon!


Likewise Doug


Ooops silly me. I thought we was in Athens. I don't think I was the only one. Tee hee

Right, Rubicon it is then


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