Positive thinking!! its the way forward! reflective thoughts from me! :)

Positive thinking!! its the way forward!  reflective thoughts from me! :)

Just wanted to say i LOVE this forum, its been a great influence on me and i'm sure i wouldn't have stuck to c25k without it! There are great characters here, inspirational posters, sensible advice & people seem to genuinely care how each other are doing, and i for one would be a much less positive person without it.

* i've just written a load of personal stuff which i've just deleted,(don't want you lot to have to put up with my rants and it made me sad!) but the gist of it is i don't know entirely where my life is going precisely.............! My jobs rubbish at the mo, money is a big issue and i just feel like i have so much to do and not enough time!! The same for everyone tho i guess! A bit swamped with negativity at times! :( .....to the outside world i'm doing ok, but inside thats not always so!

BUT.......... this is the year for change i hope, i'm trying to really stick to things and make a go of my running( i started in January2014) , its a great focus for me and i've surprised myself with how its ok going! did over 8km on Saturday, a big milestone and put a smile on my face! I for one enjoy the challenge of achieving a PB( and thats mine for my size, shape and no two people are the same!) but i think the important thing to realise is that we're all in it together on here, no matter if we can just run to the end of the street, whatever we do is improving our health, wellbeing and if we are here making virtual friends, so much the better! I've never used a forum before but really enjoy logging in when i can and seeing how everyones doing.

So thats it really!

I'm off now to do positive things! just had a jolly walk with my dog, he was frolicking in the sunshine and i was pondering and wondering what to do with my day! Its now decided: gardening, baking, lunch outside in the sun. Off to visit my mum at 3pm in her Nursing home hopefully laden with buns, some of the sweet old people that live there make me realise life must be grabbed with both hands before its too late, some are really frail and some are in their own little world where they can't be reached :( its an eye opener for sure. Mum was fully mobile 4 yrs ago and we enjoyed many a great dog walk, but that can't happen now. So be grateful for health and try to stay happy :) (i will include that to myself pointedly!!)

And then i might even go on a run!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy running everyone sorry if this goes on a bit, you're kind of my therapy sometimes!!

35 Replies

  • Hi Aliboo. It's great to hear how you're doing. How fab to achieve 8k! Sorry you're battling some hard times but it sounds like running , positive thinking and sharing how it's going are helping you head in the right direction.

    Happy gardening, baking , visitng ...and running! :) hugs xx

  • thanks Jaqs, i'm loads better than i used to be, things aren't really so bad i'm just not always good at looking on the bright side! Family trait i think! thanks xx just been up road to get eggs for baking, someone sells them fresh from thier hens but theres never usually any there, spotted them on my doggy walk so thats a bit of luck! :)

  • What a great post aliboo. It's wonderful to hear that you're not going to let all the negative stuff dictate how you think, even if you have to put up with it for the time being. Those personal milestones can be such a morale booster, doesn't matter what they are, just getting there is amazing.

    Have a lovely day with your mum - my brother (the only family member I have left) has an Acquired Brain Injury and is in a Care Home so I can empathise with you there!

    Oh and if you have any spare cake.......just saying..... ;-)

  • cakes are in the oven! what would you like as topping?! Mum has dementia, but shes alot better than some of the poor souls in there, and atleast she gets visitors, some don't get hardly any :( it takes a bit of getting used to though, sorry to hear about your brother...

    She loves Miranda so might be another afternoon of that, or sit out in the sun maybe? We just got her some of the old Tarzan films , they're great! :)

  • thanks, big hugs returned.. think it might be PMT, i'm a bit teary today! But the buns are smelling good..... :) i felt a bit sad as didn't get on forum yesterday and there seemed to be some bad vibes going round... :(

  • didn't have any yesterday thats the problem! :)

  • What a lovely post, you are so right. I volunteer with the elderly and they always give the best sense of perspective which I need, enjoy your afternoon. :-)

  • thanks notbad, i used to go with mum to the local memory club, it does open your eyes definitely! its nice to feel like you've cheered up someones day, and my mum is a real sweetie :)

  • That's nice aliboo, I'm so glad to read you can share time with your mum like that. The people I volunteer with have dementia too, we talk a lot on here about 'inspiring' but these people and their carers (like you and your mum) are the most inspiring I know.

  • I know where you are coming from! We are all have issues (mine are pretty big at the mo) and it's nice to have somewhere to come for support amoungst like minded crazy running people! I find running is not only very fulfilling (wanted to run for years but didn't think that I could) but it's also a fantastic release! I love getting into the running zone and forgetting everything that is going on my life! I love coming on here and ready everyone's posts. All are very inspiring!

  • i didn't think i'd be able to run at all, so i'm really chuffed! Life isn't easy but sometimes we have to try and rise above it! i'm just a bit blue and don't want to slide back to where i was 3 yrs ago so onwards and upwards, thanks for replying Panda :)

  • I think this group definitely adds to the therapeutic value of the c25k. We all have our ups and downs and it is hard to see things differently when we are in the thick of it, so if posting helps any of us at any time then post away I say. My dad had dementia and although he died in 2001 I remember all the ups and downs of that. Enjoy scoffing your buns and visiting your mum x

  • thanks lizziebeth! luckily mum is quite jolly still but its hard leaving her behind there, she was always so vital and lively and it crept up on her quickly :( have just sampled buns and have 6 ready to take up, its a half hr walk each way so should (nearly) burn them off, will have to get out running later! :)

  • Having a bit of a sniff now Ali, as I know where you're at. My mum had dementia too, and while there are dark days, there were so many funny things that happened that kept us sane. Running will be a saviour as you can escape everything when you go out for a run. It gives you much-needed head space.

    I have little money so have to save up for luxuries like running shoes and Garmins but I don't smoke or drink, I hardly use my car and I make all my own food from scratch and grow tons of veg and fruit. Baking is a really lovely thing to do, so relaxing but rewarding and everyone loves cake! I was making a blueberry and lemon cake the other day but had no blueberries (who has!) so I used a tin of blackcurrants. it worked really well and no-one was any the wiser.

    Like you Ali, I didn't think I had a run in me. I'd never run before so now I find I can I'm just made up. Getting hurt though drives me mad and I've suffered a bit last week but I'm hopeful I can crack on

  • hi misswobble good to hear from you! made the muffins, went to look for icing sugar and had about 1oz! :( so they have hot raspberry jam and coconut topping, i've already tried two, one pre topping, one post, just to check they were ok!

    Going to walk to mums in a little while, then hopefully a run later, the tuesday running club i go to is near where i work and as i have no petrol in tank and am not at work today can't justify the drive, so will have to motivate myself! we are doing well tho, glad you are back running :) Mum is ok at mo but its sad to think that we will never do some of the great stuff we used to, mainly doggy walking and heart to hearts! Thats made me teary again, just writing it down. My dads good but hes not a sensitive type and and stuff went on a few yrs back that has made it hard for the family as a whole :(

    I sometimes get fed up of my job, minimum wage, atmosphere down 100% since new management arrived, loads of our old team leaving and its hard at mo, plus didn't get a break yesterday as short staffed so bit P****d off with it. just been put on 0hr contract so after 10 yrs of being loyal just feel like telling them where to go!

    off to do some mowing now so i can kick the mover when it konks out! OH won't help with gardening much and its turning into a jungle, he keeps doing mega exercise then spends rest of day wiped out and wonders why i get wound up! Still i love gardening and for my good deed of the day have just put a stall of free tomato plants out front for neighbours!

    but i must be positive! you lots do help me alot!

    thanks :)

  • Hi Ali, a lovely post that I can identify with in many ways. I agree this forum is great for raising a smile and I certainly feel like I have many new friends that are very supportive. It is hard sometimes to rise above things and see the positive but I think being on here helps and the running definitely helps me clear my mind and enjoy life. Baking sounds like a great way to chill too! Enjoy your visit to your mum, she is lucky to have you there. Big hug x :-)

  • thanks- she is a sweetie :) need to get going soon i think,oops got distracted again... returning the hug, thankyou :)

  • Hey Ali, Bless your heart, Big hug (((( )))) to you .... Dementia is a cruel disease, we lost my dad , now my mam has it , so I know where youre coming from . Just wanted to echo Miss Wobbles words and add try to eat regularly and sleep just to keep your energy levels up , then when you have time , get out there and go for it , it really does give you a bit of me -time and you feel soooo much better for it don't you ? I wish you all the best, life sucks sometimes doesn't it ? You can PM me whenever you like Ali if you wish , no pressure though, just to offload if ever you want :-) xxx

  • thanks poppy :) its nice to know there are some good people out there. Might well take you up on that! Sometimes i don't know what to do for the best in my life , but the running gives me a good focus. And i have my george dog for good company today, he was happy to be out earlier. Just off to visit mum now, so will sign off, and go and see how shes doing!

    i'm good with my eating, did lose 2 stone in2012 and managed to keep it off mostly, and i do feel fitter than i've ever been , stay up too late sometimes tho. Not doing anything exciting just like doing what i want, but always feel like there so much to do, and not enough time and money to do it! :(

    But i'm supposed to be positive today, a nice walk in the sun will do me good!

  • Okay Ali, all the best , and hope you and Mum enjoy your afternoon :-) xxx

  • I miss my ma very much as she was such a card! Not going to visit her is something I miss terribly as I used to see her everyday as I looked after her. She used to have brief moments of clarity, when she would reappear as if she had never gone away, but it would be over in a moment and she'd be lost again. She could always remember song lyrics and poetry so we were always singing.

  • Aw Miss Wobble, watching someone you love having to endure dementia is truly heartbreaking , I know . My dad went from being able to calculate his winnings from his horses in his head really quickly to not been able to put his coat on the right way round., but like you say sometimes he would remember stuff and we would have a right good laugh about it and that's what I cherish, all the good memories, they are so precious :-) xxx

  • My mum (86) has Alzheimer's and I'm her main carer. The sad thing for me is that the disease has stripped away the worse side of her personality, we always had a really difficult relationship but now I'm all she's got and she's like a new softer, non-manipulative non judgemental person. I'm sad about the lovely relationship we could have had if she had taken down her barriers earlier in her life. I'm just trying to let go of my long held deep grudges and make the most of our new relationship before she slips further away.....

    This forum is definitely therapy isn't it :) ..as well as the running. Hugs to us all eh!! ? Xxx

  • Thanks Kat. Sounds very similar. Hugs returned. Must admit I don't manage saintly compassion as often as I should... Working on it though. :) x

  • thankyou all for you kind words today, and the conversation it has prompted, you all understand so well. Mum was not at her best today, but we sat with her good friend wookie( who always worries she is intruding but is really good for mum) they have a great rapport which is good to see. we ate buns and were a bit silly, the conversations that go on can be really bizarre. sometimes its hard to remember how she was before..

    in the last 10 yrs there has been alot of strain in the family, stuff went on that altered the opinion of my dad in some of the families eyes, a situation that made mum very stressed and withdrawn. eventually she got past that but then had a fall , lost her confidence, her mobility and gradually was diagnosed with dementia. dad looked after her as best he could with our help and carers but sadly social services realised he couldnt cope and put her in respite that ended up being permanent. my dad and brother are at loggerheads alot, and dad now appears to outside world like the most devoted husband, and hedoes try hard but we havent 100% forgotten what happened and im afraid its made me cynical even though i know he does do alot for us and is a good dad really, hes just stubborn and likes things his way. with other difficult stuff going on too its hard not to feel life can be a bit c**p, but im trying!!!

    no run for me tonight but hopefully tomorrow! :)

  • Chin up Ali! One of my mum's helpers used to say about caring for a person with dementia, "you have to learn to take the rough with the rough" I know what she meant!

  • thanks miss wobble! i get worried when she has one of her vacant days, but then a little sparkcomes back inbetween which is nice to see....

    dont think i will be out running til fri/sat, did an 11.5 hr shift yesterday(in cafe so walking alot) havent done onethat long for a while so am not liking my achy legs one bit. have to back ther for 8.30 but off at 3.30 today so thats better! hope you are ok?

    Ali :)

  • Hi Ali, bit of a late reply to your post but just to say I do know where you're coming from - my dad had Parkinson's and dementia (he died six years ago) and it was grim. My mum's also got vascular dementia but it's progressing very, very slowly, and she's still able to live independently with some help so that good.

    I guess you know about carers' support payment? It's a one-off payment of £250 to anyone who gives unpaid support to a relative (be that doing their shopping, looking after finances or whatever). Don't know if it's available in every borough but if you haven't claimed it and you can, you should. I just found out that I am eligible - it's to spend on yourself, whatever you choose. What does it say about me that the first thing that came into my head was 'Garmin'??? :-)

  • me too! she should treat herself! :)

  • :-) I was just reading the small print: 'Payments may be used for anything that carers feel with provide them with a break from their caring role, such as paying for activities, a short break or holiday or a regular therapy'. A Garmin can definitely be squeezed into the 'regular therapy' category, can't it? ;-)

  • Hi Turbo tortoise, sorry for the late reply, been having trouble accessing site with my tablet, don't know why at all its just frozen up! thanks for your comments, its hard seeing someone close to you changing, but i guess at least she is mainly happy and gets lots of visitors. Its not easy tho is it?

    thanks for the info on the payment... i'll have a look at that!

    I reckon a garmin would be great for you, you deserve a treat!

    just off out in a min,up early while its cool as got 8.30 start at work, did a long shift on weds and it really wiped me out so only did 1 run last week, hopefully will be better this week starting today!!

  • Thanks Ali - well I've trying to access the new site on my phone and I just get a blank screen! With our respective mums, at least when they're happy and don't have a huge amount of insight (or is it denial? don't know) into what's happening to them it makes it a bit easier to deal with. I persuaded my mum to move to sheltered accommodation two years ago and it's been an absolute godsend for both me and her - she can still have her own independent flat (which she owns) and come and go as she pleases but there's social activities, lunches and a 24 hour warden. Massive weight off my mind and she's so much happier as she's a social butterfly at heart.

    That carers' payment thing only seems to be available in random parts of the UK - if they offer it in IoW, grab it!

    I was supposed to go parkrunning this morning but various things conspired against me! Hope you had a lovely run, it's a gorgeous day out there.

  • made the 5 k but it was hard going, hot even at 7am! Yes my mum seems happy enough most of the time but she she sometimes asks to go home :( she can't walk at all now which for me is one of the hardest things, she always used to be great for her age and always out and about.... sheltered housing is great, my boyfriends grandad was in a flat that was similar. have a great weekend, will look into the allowance :)

  • ALiboooooooooo!! What a brilliant post! Really enjoyed reading that. My Mama also lives in a retirement home and I know EXACTLY what you mean when you say we have to make the most of what we've got NOW. Wise words indeed.

    And an 8K under your belt? That's way quicker than I ever did if you only started in January this year. It took me about 10 or 11 months to venture past the 5K limit I'd stupidly put on myself.

    The running will centre you and focus you. It will make you feel you've accomplished something - even if it's only for half an hour and THAT is important "brain food" in my opinion. Endorphines are REAL things I've discovered (always thought that was all bullsh**!) and providing we all keep running 3 times per week, our health and demeanour will benefit hugely. It won't make us rich, but it'll give us enough brain power to make decisions we need to ensure our lives are the best they can be.

    See you on the next post baby!!

  • hi SuperDan, like the new photo!! :) Poor old mums, getting old isn't that much fun i reckon :(

    Yey 8 k! it was good, just a 5k for me today, it was hot even at 7am! Hard work today, but you're right, its good for us physically and mentally!

    will try and squeeze in more runs this week, was slack with only that one last week, but did really long shift on my feet and was achy for couple of days... :( don't know about getting there quickly tho,i don't feel like i have!!

    have a great hols won't you :)

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