Re-action from other people about C25K

I've had mixed reactions from people in my family regarding my running. My hubby was a bit unsure about it - he says I shouldn't run in rainand bad weather etc. I've explained why - improved fitness, health and to make me feel better about myself. On occasions he's taken the p** out of me as well which hasn't helped. Other outsiders - family members I've mentioned to and they say I'm mad, laugh and say they'd never do it. What general responses shall I give because at the moment I don't feel very confident but I do say that I'm generally enjoying it and looking after my health. Just wondering how others respond. A good thing that's come out of this is that I've lost 4lb in weight since starting the program so I must be doing something right. :-)

43 Replies

  • Strange isn't it ... I have mainly tried to keep it a secret, but have been spotted while I'm out! I too have an 'unsupportive of C25K' hubby - but I am determined to prove him wrong ... we're doing great ... let's keep going!

  • My best advice, and also that i have read, is to just do this for yourself. It doesn't need to be a spectator sport. I didn't tell anyone except my other half until i had all but graduated, we put enough pressure on ourselves without other people taking part!

    The important thing to remember is they are still on the coach and you are making your way to 5k. Well done, be proud of yourself and keep posting, this is a great forum for getting encouragement and advice.

  • I've been trying to help with eating heathily for my daughter as well and hubby brought her a burger king. That didn't help or show his support either.

  • All my family laughed at me when I first started. When I got to week 5 and was still raving about the programme, my hubby decided he would give it a go. That was almost 18 months ago and we've both run regularly ever since, sometimes separately, sometimes together.

  • Brilliant Saruma so it goes to show that it's shown your husband that it's a good programme as well. Gives me some faith that I could convince my hubby.

  • Pfffttt! All those who laugh or call you mad or say you can't do it are just jealous!!! Even if you've only done week 1 run 1, you still done a lot more than those negative people. You've made a decision to get yourself up and off the couch and do something positive - that's the most important thing ever!!! Even if it takes you longer than 9 weeks (it took me 18 as I poorly a lot) and if you have a "bad" run where you don't feel as if you've achieved much, just remember A BAD RUN IS BETTER THAN NO RUN AT ALL.

    Well done you x

  • I agree 100 per cent Let all keep going.... at least those that are doing the C25K are OFF the couch ....... : )

  • I have a similar OH who worries I may fall when I am out but he does now see the results and can see it has done me some good.

    I still do get undermined if he thinks I'm trying to loose weight and he buys me posh chocs - which is frustrating!

    Just ignore him. YOU know how you feel and how much good you are doing to yourself. I do hope he sees the light and get himself out of Burger King asap. Just quietly plod on with it all and do what you know is right for you and your daughter. GOOD LUCK!

    Keep coming back to this site and WE WILL SUPPORT YOU!!!

  • Thanks Jana83 that means a lot. I'm on WK2R1 tomorrow morning so I hope it goes OK. I also do S&Flex on rest day and a exercise DVD when I can in the week. The main struggle is fitting it in around family comitments but best time seems to be 5.30am which aslo seems mad so some people. I just got to the point that I can't keep eating and sitting the way I was and time to do something about it. Otherwise depression can take hold from past experience.

  • Another lark runner. Hubby is supportive and I have mentioned it to a couple of fellas at work. One of them has even given me advice about warming up and lent me a book about running.

    There are far more positive people out there than nay-Sayers. Keep going for yourself.

  • Thanks Beek I know it's for the better. It will be beneficial for my little girl to see mummy transform herself and hopefully be inspired.

  • Thinlizzy, I do wish you well! What a struggle when everyone just 'poo-poos' what you're trying to do. I appreciate that it's difficult now that so many people know that you're doing C25K but I would try and ignore them and just go and do it anyway and don't bother to tell them. As you get through the programme and start to look and feel so much better they'll sit up and take notice! Share all your successes and problems with everyone on the forum and we'll support you.

    Don't worry about one BurgerKing. If you're in charge of the food most of the time then your daughter will be ok as you'll be trying to improve her diet generally.

    Good luck!

  • Oh the negative folks ! I get told off the hubby , your too old , I get told off work mates , your knackering your joints ,I only get support off one member of my family & that's my youngest daughter & her husband . It doesn't help that I got injured on a run a month ago & I get "told you" just ignore them I do .

  • I think he might be jealous, and worried about it changing it for yourself and don't let anyone stop you. I think you are doing amazingly, we are all here for you here...perhaps ask him to join you so you can enjoy it together???

  • What a shame that some people are negative. You have made a great start. Before I started I was unsure but I looked at the comments on here and decided to go for it. I am now feeling better for doing it for myself, for my benefit. Its still early days for me but I can say without doubt that the support and comments from the people on this forum have helped immensely and give me the encouragement to carry on. I am sure you will find the same. I even wake up thinking about running now and believe me, I never thought I would be doing that! Good luck with your runs.

  • Hi ladies,

    Well. My husband was impressed the first time. I'm hoping it will be the same when I finish this time. No one else is bothered. No encouragement but no one being disheartening either. I am not enjoying it yet but it's only a matter of time before it gets easier and I get further. It's all down to us at the end of the day. We need to motivate ourselves and prove these to ourselves we can do it. Just don't let the negative thoughts get you down. We are not doing it for them. It's for us.

    S X

  • Here here....... Totally agree x

  • My OH really needs to exercise but refuses to even countenance walking much any more , let alone running. My children are mildly bemused but as they no longer live at home, they don't much care! One son is a gym fanatic but doesn't like running!

    However, OH was v proud of me when I completed 5K in October and now, if I am wavering or dithering about getting out running, he encourages me to do,so, I think it is because he has realised that I am less grumpy when I get back!!!!!

  • I didn't tell even my hubby until I was on week 2 Run 2 and my very red face after a run gave the game away. My best friend said "your mad at your age" I ignored that with the contempt it deserved and carried on. That was over 3 years ago, hubby has been nothing other than supportive, buying the odd bit of running gear for me . He has always asked "how was your run?" on my return home too. So stick with it, family and friends will get used to you being a fitter, healthier and happier person as that is what running does for us. Good luck :)

  • My wife told me that I wouldn't get her running, she had never enjoyed running. I didn't try to persuade her, but seeing the change in me over about five weeks she decided to give it a go, has now graduated and we occasionally run together and love it.

    You are doing this for yourself and, as you say, your daughter, so don't worry too much about negativity from other people. I believe you will grow in confidence about this running thing, to the point where you just don't care what others think. You will know and they will see what a difference it can make, along with other lifestyle choices, and you are setting the best possible example to your daughter, so at some point some of them will change their minds about your "fad" and who knows, they might join you. You win some, you lose some.

    Good luck and stick with it. C25k can change lives. It changed mine.

  • I started last year as a way of having some 'time out' from children/work etc, with my friend. My husband always said 'all joggers are nutters'. Well, he eventually started coming as a way for us both to have a little time together, and he was out in the hail the other day, running a 5k in his work break!! These little 30min outings have changed my life, which I have started combining with 'Parkrun', as well. Parkrun is free all over the country, and is a 5k run on a weekend morning, for runners of all abilities and a real community spirit, children can join in too.

  • Just wanted to add my support. I'm sorry you are getting so little from people in real life: come here for it instead.

    I didn't tell anyone for the first 7 weeks as I didn't want to risk being put off and I also wanted the freedom from pressure of other people's expectations. Fortunately my husband has been very supportive and very proud, and now everyone knows and are impressed.

    I think time will prove to everyone you mean business and their opinion is irrelevant. And you are setting a wonderful example for your daughter :) So just keep going - your actions will speak far louder than words.

  • I'm very lucky as I've had great support from my hubby and most (!) friends. However, running makes me feel empowered so I don't give a toss who thinks what, I'm doing it for me.

  • Thanks for all your lovely comments. Means such a lot. I went out to do W2 R1 which was hard going as my motivation was a bit through the roof but I plodded and did it, it started pouring with rain as well. Wasn't so bad in the end.

  • I was a stealth runner. I started out in normal clothes, normal overfilled backpack, walking boots. I still tend to go out dressed in such a way that you wouldn't guess - gives me some kind of daft superhero kick to pull off the top layer and turn into running woman.

    Alas the red face for hours afterwards gave me away and my (obese) husband was very unimpressed (A history of exposure to the less pleasant sort of runner) He would leave the room if I mentioned it at all. To be fair, in my case, it was entirely reasonable to be very concerned. I'd say it took a year for him to tolerate it. We do walk and swim and cycle together when we can and running is a very private thing for me so no loss that he doesn't want to do it with me. I have running obsessed relatives and have always felt concerned to make running part of my life rather than my life, impinging on others, if that makes sense.

  • You can't change other people but you can choose how you react to them and that will change everything. Your husband is probably just worried that you might hurt yourself and the rest are jealous. You are showing other people that it's possible to make choices to change our lives - and that's quite scary. The more you run the more confident you will feel, not just about running but about everything you do. You will be fitter, thinner, more confident and an inspiration to others.

  • You are great just run! forget all negativity, that it is about them not you! You are making the difference to you, Get out there again put on the podcast and feel alive!! )

  • Well, you have a wonderful supportive community here, they kept me going when I felt as if I wasn't doing very well. But you are doing this for you and for the sense of achievement and to feel better, so keep at it. I found that as soon as I talked about starting to run I found a whole new group of people who run at all sorts of levels, I've met new people at work and started new conversations just by sharing a love of running. My family is a bit lukewarm about the whole thing, but that is how they are (I think underneath they are a little bit impressed that I've kept at it!). You are getting out there and doing something positive and as others have said, a bad run is still a run. I love running in the dark and the bad weather - must be mad! However, I always tell my family where I'm running and how long I will be, you have to keep safe.

  • So many words of wisdom here. Like most I had mixed responses, some quite insulting, some positive/supportive. I was lucky in that husband and son have always been 100% behind me, husband did fret over me running in bad weather but then over time realised I didn't melt and he eased up.

    Sometimes people can feel threatened if they sense you're changing, it can make them look at their own fitness and that can make them feel uncomfortable. It's about them not you. Once you realise that it becomes so much easier to deal with.

  • Thanks notbad - I hadn't thought of it like that. That'll help me with dealing with the negative responses. There's all sorts of mixed responses at the moment from family and friends. I don't think they realised I was so serious about it and that I'd even get past week1.

  • You are a star lizzy! Well done for keeping on with this. Do it for yourself and no-one else. :-) Notbad is quite right. Change worries people and seeing that you can change makes it harder for them to pretend it's not possible. Given time, and seeing that the change in you is positive, they may start to react more positively too. Best of luck on your running journey. :-)

  • Well done you! Keep at it and don't let anyone put you off.

    When you embark on any sort of 'change programme', fitness or otherwise, people get nervous. Its because as you change you become more confident, view yourself differently and your relationships, so your relationships with other people WILL change - that is what they are afraid of (if you remember a film Educating Rita, that is a great example, although I don't think the outcome for most C25Kers is quite so extreme!). I think some of it stems from people just wanting to keep within their comfort zone (they like you the way you are, so if you change, they will have to change a little too), some from jealousy, from my experience much stems from their own insecurities (if they belittle your efforts, they can justify not doing it themself as they convince themselves it's "not worthwhile"),and some from a real fear that they might become collateral damage as a result of your clutter clear or new attitude. Don't worry about it too much, stick with what you are doing and don't worry about defending your position.

    I find it easiest to respond with 'I guess it's not for everyone, but I'm glad I found it, as I feel great'. You are making a statement about you (so they can't argue with how you feel) and giving them their 'get out' if they can't be bothered or are too scared to do it themself.

    Happy running.

  • So many true words have been spoken in this thread. I can only agree with all of them. I once had a group of people in the pub laugh at me cause I called myself sporty while going through the program. I came home In tears. Those same people are the ones who now tell me how fit I must be now that I am training for my first triathlon. They have forgotten all their hurtful words and I don't remind them. I have the upper hand and I always knew I would win by showing them how wrong they were.

  • I bet they were tears of rage though ey. Anyway RFC it's a case of don't get mad, get even and you followed your instincts and chose to run. So did I. My husband was patronising when he found out I was running. I didn't tell him. I joined a running group and that's when he got jealous. He told me when I got back that what I was doing "isn't really running". The run Leader told me when we finished our 5 k run that I was a runner. That was good enough for me, so my husband can go boil his fat head! I'm still running and do so while he's flaked out on the sofa stuffing crisps and beer. Don't let the **ggers grind you down. You are a WINNER!

  • Well done for getting out there despite the lack of support & good luck for the rest of the programme.

  • I had the same problem when I started C25K. Friends were full of "its bad for your knees" etc, etc. Even my wife was full of how bad it would be for me! Well, nearly 2 years down the line, 3.5 stones lighter, and able to run for longer than I ever could before, the tunes are changing. All of the doubters are still on the couch which I am sure you will have noticed. Funny as well how they will all say that they need to o something to keep fit! Just ignore them all and keep going. You won't regret it.

  • Some fab responses on here which has given me a huge boost.

    Thanks ever so much for all the support. It makes me feel happier to know it's not just me that's gone through this. It's definately a change that I'm working through as well and that's something that some people just don't realise. It takes planning, effort and dedication to get out there and run. As well as fitting it into normal daily life. I have done cycling before a few years ago - I would like to do it again but feel running is closer to home at the moment. One step at a time. I do also walk everywhere don't drive and don't often use public transport so I see this programme as a boost to what I already do. It's been a long time since I actually worked up a sweat. It's not really a case of something I want to do - but something that I feel I have to do to get back in touch with the way I used to be when I was fit. I remember it was some years ago and I'd like to get back there again.

  • Keep up the running I started a year ago and got spotted by family who all laughed except my hubby hes great but whos laughing now im slimmer fitter and love running and no one says a word now :-)

  • You poor thing, but I echo previous comments, they are all jealous that you will soon be a fit young thing looking fabulous. Ignore them or just smile knowingly. My family have always been encouraging but my staff laughed in the beginning. However, now that they've seen my shape alter dramatically (not much weight loss tho) and I've blogged my experiences on the company intranet, I get congratulated all the time. Just this morning, as I walked into the office having cycled to work in the fitness gear, one of my staff, said "wow you look really sporty" . I'm taking that as a compliment, as last October I packed up smoking and couldn't run for 60 seconds. Chin up we're all cheering you on. xxx

  • I can only echo what other people on this forum are saying. Those people who are being negative towards your running are jealous and scared. You will change and the negative people are afraid of this.

    With regard to your OH taking the pee out of what you are doing - sad though it may be it needs to be pointed out that this is classed as domestic abuse. Just something to bear in mind.

    Good luck with your programme and keep up the good work. You are investing in your health and you can't put a price on that. Best wishes.

  • I would like to give your husband credit for being concerned you might get injured running in bad weather! But it is probably that same old thing: people dont like you to change, unless you are changing in exactly the way they want you to!

    My daughter that runs a bit and has recently decided to run enough to be prep for her first marathon is very supportive. I havent told anyone else specifically. She and i discussed both our plans on Facebook, so essentially 'everybody' could know our plans. But so far nobody else has said anything to me about it.

  • I have a very supportive boyfriend but my family had a few bad comments on my running. I think some people like to put you down so you don't forget they're better than you and others are just scared of you changing. You need to be confident about your decision and comfort people that what you're doing is good for the whole family (better mood, good role model, etc)...People will embrace it eventually and if they don't...who cares? ...You're doing it for you...I see it as my guilty pleasure!! Also, When people see physical changes, they'll ask you for your advice!

  • My family have been quite negative too. ' Runnings bad for you ' ... Having said that when I hurt my ankle they took on some of my outdoor 'muddy' chores. I think it's just that your developing a new interest that doesn't include them. They worry about all sorts I guess. I usually end these conversations with an invitation to join me ...

    My friends & colleagues however think it's great with one or two considering trying it.

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