This morning, after some debate with myself, I decided to do my Hill Training route, which is about 60% on the road and 40% through the mire, with a distance of 11.4k and a total climb of 208m. Last time I had done this run I was accompanied by Annabel Runkeeper-Smythe, who encouraged me, in her gently reassuring English manner, to achieve my first ever 10k in under sixty minutes.
Annabel is a great girl and I feel comfortable in her company, so imagine my shock this morning to discover that it was her American cousin, Gwendolen P. Runkeeper, who greeted me when I set my running app in operation. Now, Gwendolen has brought me a long way in my post grad running, despite her lack of enthusiasm for my feeble efforts, but about a month ago she was mysteriously replaced by the demure and supportive Annabel. The settings on my phone were identical, so what is going on? I did have a bit of a problem picking up satellites this morning. As I waited for the fix, it would state “Poor GPS” for a split second and then revert to “Searching”. This happened several times, so in retrospect, I am left wondering if this is the cause of the return of Gwendolen. Maybe there are two systems at work here: Gwendolen Positioning System and Annabel Positioning System and it depends on which satellite I pick up as to who my running commentator is to be.
Anyway, back to the run and at my first kilometre notification I had the terse confirmation that Gwendolen was to be my companion. I even felt that she was trying hard to show some approval, if not admiration, for my first k timings and she was very flattering (or sarcastic) with my current pace time of one minute, thirty six seconds per kilometre. At the second notification, Gwenny announced equally good time and distance covered numbers, along with a slightly more believable current pace figure. This made me remember Danzargo’s comment (he’s a man of the world, you know) after my last post about these two voices from the ether. He said they were going to play me off against one another, tossing me from side to side like a pigmy shrew. So what if half way through the run, Annabel suddenly butts in and gives me even more impressive stats, only to be countered by fiercely competitive Gwendolen? Am I going to be swayed by such shallow and predictable efforts to win my ego? Will I be able to cope with such a developing catfight for my favour? I run to get away from stress and to be alone and now I am being pursued by two warring women!
Well it didn’t happen. Only Gwendolen continued to report my progress, although I did think at one moment, that as Gwendolen gritted her teeth to deliver my splits, I heard a stifled middle class, home counties squeal somewhere in the background. The GPS didn’t deliver a sub one hour 10k, as the APS had a couple of weeks ago, but then The Somme like condition of the offroad have deteriorated since then and the slurry had to be waded through in places.
After my last post on this subject, lots of you ladies said you looked forward to the next instalment of this developing tale, whereas, I never suspected that it would evolve into a ménage a trois and thought that the story had reached its conclusion. Apparently not.
Is anyone else experiencing this strange behaviour of Runkeeper? Or is it just me? Maybe it is my newly toned body attracting these rivals to my attention. Or perhaps I am finally losing the plot.
Keep running, keep smiling.
