I am currently off work with depression and haven't been out running for a few mornings but this morning the other half was getting up at 5.30 to go to London, so I got up and went out!!
I completed wk5r1 on the first trying and I felt like I could have kept going. I think it is because I am so switched off at the moment that I wasn't thinking about what I was doing. My eyes aren't lifting beyond the ground a couple of paces ahead of where I am going, which I think helped too.
Very odd to think this helped! Problem is I don't feel at all elated at my achievement, whereas the othe week I would have been running round like an idiot telling everyone and anyone.
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maryannlucy
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Hi Maryannlucy, sorry to hear about the battles you are facing at the moment. Please don't worry about lack of elation after your run. If you are on any sorts of medication for your problem, your emotions are probably being numbed by chemicals. They work this way to allow you to make a recovery.
Please remain assured that the programme WILL work for you too, if you stick with it. Around halfway through the course it becomes as much a 'mind-over-matter' issue for your head as it becomes physically challenging for your legs and stamina.
Here at the forum WE are all delighted for you and pleased that you were successful for the start of W5! Just keep yourself safe by looking up sometimes to see where you are going! I think all of us - depressed or otherwise - have runs of watching our feet and the path (it's a sign of lacking confidence in feet and needing to see the cracks and pot holes in the footpath! )
Pretty soon you'll be into longer, non stop runs. With luck you'll enjoy these enormously - they are so freeing for your head too ... especially if you can find some sunshine, or a breeze, or a lovely venue for your peaceful running.
Lots of luck and best wishes for your next few runs, we're all smiling for you.
Well done for completing your run. Sorry to hear that you are struggling with depression. It's a nasty condition, but you are taking very good action against it. It's horrible that it can rob you of feeling good when you've achieved something. But as Linda says, we are very pleased for you. We will hold onto that feeling for you until you are ready to have it back later ok?
What a kind and lovely way of expressing support for maryannlucy. Yes, we will all gladly hold on to the elation and pass it back when the time is right. Such a GREAT community is this!
Nice of you to say. I thought it sounded a bit odd after I wrote it. I just hope maryannlucy understands what I mean, and that it helps a bit.
Forums can be awful or amazing I find. This one is particularly supportive, and I'm lucky enough to contribute to at least one other. The anonymity of the Internet can sometimes means you offer words that would seem too personal in real life. I have suffered, and do suffer, from depression. It's an awful thing, and so anyone stepping out to fight it gets a massive load of cheerleader waving from me.
I'm sorry you don't feel elated at your own achievement, but glad you decided to share it here so we can feel elated at your achievement! Getting out there running can be a struggle at the best of times, so you really did well to motivate yourself to do this. Hang on in there, things will get better!
Hi Maryannlucy I feel for you. I suffered for many years with depression and it's thanks to one consultant that I've been well for the last 12 years. He insisted that everyone on his ward had to go out for a walk at least once every day - as well as take the meds of course . It was tough at first to be more or less dragged around the park by a nurse but I'm sure now that exercise is a great healer. You are amazing; you've helped yourself without having to be told Keep going and you'll reap the benefits and soon be able to delight in your success
Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. Well done on getting up & out there, although it may not feel like it perhaps this is a turning point for you. You may not feel elated like you have in the past but you should give yourself a big pat on the back for going & doing the run (something you have not managed for a while!) that in itself is an achievement. When I was suffering depression doing regular excercise played a big part in helping me get better & there is some evidence that excercise can be very effective in the battle with depression.
Try to focus on the achievement (you did the run!!!) rather than on what is missing (the feeling of elation) maybe if you make yourself do a few more runs the elation will come back... I really do hope so.
Good luck with your commitment to the programme. I don't always feel elated after a run but I know in my head that I've done well (even when I didn't entirely achieve what I set out to do). Accept that knowledge for now and the feelings will eventually follow. Good luck in over coming depression x
Wow thank you all so much for your lovely sentiments, very kind words and support. Being able to verbalise on here to people I know but don't (you know what I mean) has been a great help too, I find it really difficult to talk to my family about it, as I feel they don't need someone bringing them down.
I am hoping to get out again tomorrow, but due to some dental work I am not able to eat much today so might hang fire until Sunday.
But thank you all again for being there. I take you all with me when I run anyway, for example:
- if I feel I am going slow, I can hear you lot saying it doesn't matter, just keep going
- if I don't feel like going out, I can picture you lot all feeling the same but going out anyway
- when I am flagging and mentally shouting at Laura about her poor time keeping skills, I can her you lot telling me to dig in, not long now
Now I have even more support to keep going. Thank you x
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Looks like i'm gonna have to stop running for awhile =(
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