..Aaaand I am telling youuuuuuu......

[Fraz73]

......in the tones of Jennifer Hudson - I'm not leaving this site ever again!!

My last blog on here was in early February and I'm ashamed to say that, until this morning, that was my last run. Since then, life has consisted of looking after my partner who has had a nervous breakdown due to the possibility of losing a job, a sudden and shocking family bereavement and covering for long term sick in work on top of my own ridiculous workload. So I haven't run. I have sat and moped and I have sat and eaten....a LOT. But I still haven't smoked. That has been really hard to deal with over the last month especially. I have been so tempted but I am still smoke free as of Jan 4th this year.

Every morning the notification email from C25K comes through with all the latest blogs.....and I can't bear to look, because I'm just so ashamed that I haven't stuck to this. Completing C25K was such a positive change in my life, I just hate that I didn't carry on as I should have afterwards and have let real life get in the way.

But this morning I took a peek. And I saw that Janda had done a Parkrun and was planning a 10k, Gayle and many others who graduated around the time I had, have completed a 5x50. That's just amazing and I'm so proud of you all. I thought seeing how far you all had come would put me off but instead it was the kick up the arse I needed so I'm just back from my first run in 4 months where I hauled myself and all the extra timber I've accumulated around W4R1.

So things to be positive about. I think the worst is behind me in terms of real life at the moment. It can't GET any worse than it has been. Secondly; I made it around W4R1 despite not having run or done any exercise in 4 months. That has to say something for all the hard work I did last year. So, while it's not brilliant and i have a LONG way to go to get back to where I was and progress further, it's not quite as bad as where I was when I did W1R1 last August. Onwards and upwards. I WILL get back into running - I WILL get myself back to where I can run 5k easily, I WILL lose weight again and I WILL work towards 10k with the hopes of running a local charity race before the end of the year!! These are my new goals!!

Sorry for the long rant and thanks for taking the time out to read.

[AliB1 Graduate]

Sometime life does just get in the way and it sounds like you have had a lot to contend with. Well done for getting back out there.. as we all know starting is the hardest bit ad you have done that! keep up the good work

[Beads Graduate]

Rant away, it's the easiest way of ridding yourself of some gremlins. Well done for W4R1, well done for still being smoke free and a brilliant well done for coming back to us!

[Hidden]

Hallo Fraz73,

I wish you now the success of all your wishes coming true.- Have a good start again !

[notbad Graduate]

Well done fraz, you have had so much on your plate, no wonder your fitness routine had to go on the back burner - very well done for keeping off the cigs, no small thing. Welcome back!

[janda Graduate]

Welcome back fraz. Sorry to hear about your travails. Fir some running has been a way of managing what life throws at us but sometimes it's just not possible to get out there because you're needed at home or at work or wherever. You shouldn't feel bad about any of it. You have been doing exactly what you have needed to do. And you've stayed off the fags! Well done. Hope you get back on track and that C25k can help you come out of the dark times you have been going through. Good luck. James

[jenniej Graduate]

Well done on getting back out there and especially on not smoking again despite all the stress you've been thru'. Hope you meet all your new aims & more in the coming months. Good luck.

[Oldgirl Graduate]

Fraz you are one very brave person, you have hopefully ridden the storm and reached the bottom a while ago, so now the only way is UP. Well done on remaining smoke free, that took a lot of very strong willpower, you have my admiration. Now back to running, take it steady, don't push too hard too soon the chances are you will be quite up tight with all that you've had to contend with so steady is the way forward to prevent injury. Wishing you all the every best and a brighter future, which you deserve.

[DeliaItaly Graduate]

Hey Fraz, welcome back! Great to see you

I am truly sorry that life has gotten in the way of C25K, but it happens to all of us. And you have ridden the storm well. Great for keeping off the fags.

Good luck with running -- take it gently, there is no rush whasoever. And we are here to support you. Delia x

[Burstcouch Graduate]

Fraz time to get back on the running/joggin horse. You only fell off for a wee while.

You will get all your strength and stamina back too.

[Rollertoaster Graduate]

Fraz! Great to see you on here again! I'm so sorry that you have been going through some tough times, but I admire your positive attitude, and still smoke free after having to deal with so much c**p that life's thrown at you? Hats off to you for that, that is a major achievement.

Well done for getting through w4r1, I hope you find that encouraging for building up again, but don't push yourself, take your time and keep us updated, your old virtual running buddies are all here to support you!

[oona Graduate]

Welcome back, Fraz. When I started with c25k you were one of the bloggers who inspired me to keep going with the programme and here you are, months later, still inspiring!

[Anniemurph Graduate]

Welcome back, Fraz, and while I'm sorry to hear that life has been so hard for you, huge congrats on staying off the ciggies Well done also for getting back out there and back on here. I look forward to reading future blogs about how well you are progressing with your running

[Ifatfirst Graduate]

Hi Fraz,

Sounds as though you need to take a bit of time just for you. Nobody can reach you when your running ( especially if you don't use a phone for you pod caste). Then the high after a run helps you to cope with all the other stuff. Don't set yourself too many goals just look back and surprise yourself at how much you have managed to achieve/cope with. Good luck and just remember you need the time for you so that you can keep going for everyone else.

Good luck and take care.

[Fittervic Graduate]

Hi Fraz

Well done you! I've fallen by the wayside too over the last few months, and I've not had nearly as many challenges to deal with as you, so you are amazing to get out there again. I have started again on week 3/4 several times now only to lose motivation a week or so later - now you have motivated me to get those running shoes on again. Thank you and keep putting one foot in front of the other.