COPD - still struggling - I'm so sorry

[puddy68]

Hi Everyone

I'm so sorry I just can't shake this anxiety which has manifested its way into depression. I didn't mention it in yesterday's post because I sounded enough of a sad sack as it is.

I saw my GP yesterday who told me I'd brought on all of my diseases myself through my inability to address my anxiety. So I've brought on my liver cirrhosis [which I'm managing/accepted/doing everything I'm supposed to], brought on my mild pulmonary hypertension [which has has gone from mid - moderate down to mild], my lung sarcoidosis [which is not active - has left scarring though], and I've also brought on my COPD. [moderate].

One of the reasons I post so often is that I love my son so much, and to think I brought all of this on myself - he doesn't deserve this. I'm 55 and want to live to see his children. I know that I've halted my cirrhosis - there's a strong possibility that I can still live a full life with this. I'm seeing the Respiratory Specialist for the Pulmonary Hypertension and COPD in a few weeks. I start Pulmonary Rehab next week. I've also lined up some counselling sessions.

I'm doing everything I can to halt these conditions - I know I can halt the cirrhosis [and I know I'm on the way to doing this], yet COPD is a Progressive Disease. Yet I read of people, through sheer hard work, bring their FEV1 down a stage or two. eg/ moderate to mild. Does this mean it will still progress eventually, and we'll all end up on oxygen? Or can we keep it stable and live a full life and die of something else?

I'm so, so sorry for my constant posts - I've also called various helplines, who have been very good, but to tell you the truth, I get the most support from you lovely people. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.