Advice on how to deal with bullying from support staff (wellbeing) in a career programme

[Anonposter]

Hello,

I have been trying not to post here because I can't keep posting after every awful encounter, but I don't have anyone to speak to about this. For the past three weeks, I have unfortunately been dealing with bullying from a woman who supports people enrolled in the programme emotionally. She runs workshops and sessions on confidence and well-being. The programme I'm enrolled in aims to help people from disadvantaged backgrounds get into certain careers. An example of an incident I have faced recently was that she refused to hand me a sheet while looking disgusted when I had an outreached hand. She told other members at my table to give it to me. It was humiliating and distressing for me, but I managed to get on in that session.

The other incident was when she came into my team's Google meeting and asked me how I was, when I replied that I was doing well, how are you? she snubbed me in front of my team. There have been other incidents where I have realised that I don't have the sheets that everyone has, and she gives it to me last, or when I smile she usually looks back at me coldly. Also at the end of the programme, handed me my certificate without shaking my hand. She had shaken everyone else's hand. While she gave me the certificate, the other male well-being mentor started snickering. It was meant to be a proud moment, but it made me nervous and humiliated. The painful part is that I have to have online meetings with him to help prepare me for employment, and I have never felt more anxious because how do I trust him after all the subtle digs he's taken at me? I. This is not the first time this thing has happened to me. I know there's plenty more of this waiting for me.

What have I done to deserve this? I don't know if I 'l can handle this anymore. I'm tired, broken and humiliated.

[worthytobeloved]

Bless you, my love - I do sympathise, having experienced this kind of treatment myself. It's shocking that the people concerned are supposed to be helping you, and yet are belittling you with their attitude. They really shouldn't be doing a job that is supposed to support people, if they are so callous and cruel.

Could you mention this to your doctor and get him/her to write them a letter advising them that their attitude is actually harming you. Better still, see if you can find the name of someone high up in the organisation (like a chief executive) and report them.

You are doing everything right - you smile, you're polite, you say thank you. Continue to be the nice person that you are, and show them up.

You have done so well to stick at it in spite of their attitude, it would be a shame not to go on and finish the course.

Unfortunately there are some unkind people out there, but most people are nice, kind and caring.

Finally, feel free to post as often as you like - hopefully talking about it with understanding people will help. Take care. xxx

[Yellow-wellies]

I totally agree with what worthytobeloved has said. Report this to their manager. Management don’t know unless they are told.

Regarding any online chats you may need to have - is it possible you can have someone with you? That will hopefully give you strength.

Be the nice kind person you clearly are. Sadly some people in this world are just horrid.

You are strong. Be strong.

Love

Yellow-wellies 🤗

[TruthmattersAlways]

I agree with worthytobeloved and I have been treated quite badly by certain people in my past, but around a year or so ago I started to listen to self love videos on YouTube and boy did this help me from within. If you listen to them often enough you will realize your true self worth, and that when people are disrespectful towards you this is on them not you, this shows their true character, and you need to be aware of this going forward and believe me it helps. Unfortunately it will always hurt when people are cruel, but it's how you handle it from within telling yourself these people are soooo not worth it and are not worth your time or energy that will get you through it. It's on them not you!!! 👍🤗