SUMMARY: Big pink spot on my otherwise darker lower lip caused by sun damage and trauma. I used to be a stud but now I'm a wreck because because more people react negatively than not. I don't really know how to deal with that. I've almost forgotten how to smile; instead I compulsively make strange faces to try and hide it. I used to be so happy and now I don't love myself, I've developed BDD, depression, and suicidal thoughts. How do I deal with stares, look-aways, and reactions of disgust????? I need therapy and support.
FULL: It's not too severe (to me), just have a bright pink splotch across the upper part of my otherwise brownish lower lip. I think I'm a handsome guy otherwise and don't mind it too much but everywhere I go I get stared at. People stare at my mouth when I talk and remind me how unusual I look, then try to get a closer glimpse when I'm not looking. Even worse, they lick or bite their lip as if it's something awful they could catch if theirs got too dry or something. Some are just too uncomfortable and look away as they talk to me. I'd just accept it as a quirk if it didn't affect every single encounter I have.
I've almost forgotten how to smile which reveals it entirely. It's given me BDD which I can ignore some days until someone gets uncomfortable, then I get uncomfortable, and start making weird faces to hide it. My self love and confidence have both hit an unbelievable low since it developed in college. I think I was a knockout before but now I am a visible wreck in most social settings. I need therapy and support but I'm broke and my parents argue there's no way people stare, they're very used to it.