Child of the 70,s ,geowing up "different"

[Shysteve]

Hi im steve hope your all well ,as the title suggests,I grew up in the 70,s I was born with a cleft palate witch in turn ment I was born with no roof to my mouth,this was fixed when I was around a yr old,ive never thought about seeking like minded people before,but due to some feelings that have re-emerged due to my looks ,I thought now at the ripe old age of 50 would be nice to see how everyone else has coped throughout there lives, growing up and any negative experience, myself I have had a life time of verbal abuse due to my looks ,went through school being taunted as"flat face" among other insults,so be nice to here if anyone else has had any experience in these areas,I know its a bit late in the day for myself but I would really like to see a change in people's attitude toward anyone whos appears to be "different"thanks for your time ,best wishes shy steve

[Circuitbreaker Community Ambassador]

YAY! Hi Steve! Well, where the hell have you been?

Firstly, given I'm 50, what the hell is wrong with being 50?! And born in 1972, what the hell is wrong with the 1970's ? Ok there was a lot wrong with the 1970s, but being born then isn't one of them!

The were some great Prog Rock bands about then ....

So.....

So, so very sorry about the abuse you've experienced. It super sucks. Had my share. Some of mine might make news articles ... The ones you get though though are the key ones. You have to go through them, and you're often alone when you do. They never seem to happen when your guardian angel is on hand ...

Lets not dwell on that though. Life is precious, and since we are both 50, its passing. Time to make each and every day count!

Its fabulous to hear from you. Do feel free to reach and just holler if you ever need to.....

That's what we do.

CB

[Shysteve in reply to Circuitbreaker]

Thanks for the response,been a long while since ive unloaded my menial troubles,lioking back I could/should have done things in a very different way but ha ho,its nice finally having the courage to express some of my feelings without ridicule,thanks again steve

[Circuitbreaker Community Ambassador in reply to Shysteve]

Never such a thing as a menial trouble. if it bothers you, when you're ready, unload it. if it bothers you, it can't *ever* be menial.

and anyway, why carry it? All in good time though. Theres no schedule, and any that is, well, you drive that.

Anyway, who hasn't had a cudda-wudda-shudda ?!!

Being reflective about the past is good, though it often makes us sad when we are. It shows maturity, wisdom and the ability to learn from the past.

We all make calls on reflection we would have made differently if we knew better, me especially so!

I'm absolutely delighted you feel you have had the courage to speak up. Thats just superb.

If you ever need us, just yell. Until then, I may hit the Prog Rock in your honour if I may ?

Right, Floyd it is ...

[MaveB in reply to Circuitbreaker]

😀 a highlight of the 70's for me was they gave us Rod Stewart!

[Shysteve in reply to MaveB]

you maybe should not be posting that on a public forum ha ha(sorry)

[Shysteve]

Hi me again, sorry,just like to say thank you for the kind words ,this has made me feel almost human again and would like to help others the same as your helpful words have helped me,so hopefully when I can get my woes under control ill be able to support someone as ive been so far,thanks again best wishes steve

[Kathrow44]

Hi Steve,

I'm also rocking 50 too!! I was born with a unilateral cleft lip and palate too. I've had teasing etc as I was growing up but my way of coping was to put it down to the other person's lack of understanding of clefts and what it was like having a cleft. I made a conscious decision to move on and not let what other people say / think worry me (this is easier said than done sometimes!)

I am really loving this group and being able to read others' experiences and share my own. There is something so very powerful in finding people who have been through the same / similar experiences.

Keep your head up and know that you're fabulous the way you are. As CB said, just call out if you need support

Kathy 😀

[Shysteve in reply to Kathrow44]

Good morning ,hope your well,thank tou for you kind words and support, believe it or not just the kind reples that ive received has made me stop and think to how many others have suffered along there path ,this makes me feel as im not totally alone and tbh was feeling "less human" shall we say

than other"normal" people ,so again thank you for accepting me and my whining very best wishes steve x

[Circuitbreaker Community Ambassador in reply to Kathrow44]

Rockin' 50!

Yay. There are of lots of great people rockin' 50!

Its the new 30!! 🤣

[CarolinChangingFaces Partner]

Hi Shysteve welcome to the Changing Faces community. Thank you for you post, it’s really positive you have felt comfortable to share how you have been feeling on here.

It sounds like things were tough for you growing up, and I can see you shared about experiencing bullying and abuse throughout your life which must have felt difficult for you.

I saw you mentioned that some feelings have re-emerged for you about your appearance recently, I hope by connecting with others in our community you feel supported and less alone in this.

Take Care

Caroline – Changing Faces

[Shysteve in reply to CarolinChangingFaces]

Good morning and thank you for your kind words , really means a lot, definitely feeling a bit better knowing there are awesome people here who know how id do feel in some if not all ways ,best wishes steve

[Solocat Community Ambassador]

Hi Shysteve, Hi CB, Hi Caroline, and everyone!

Ready to flip CB? I'm 56 so yeahhh, the new 30's, haha!!

Shysteve, as you can see, this is not about aging; it's never too late to shake it off and start enjoying things you really like. Yeah, we still get looks, stares and negative reactions, but...let's face it: we've had enough of it and now it's our turn to shake it off, seizing the days, the hours, the minutes. If we made it this far, that means we're good for something else than being so aware of people's reactions!

Unfortunately, if we dwell on our imperfections for too long, they become stronger and more real each time; yes, they're real, we can make them even stronger on us with the aid our our powerful thoughts...yes, powerful in wrecking our lives if we so decide. If we set aside mirrors, criticisms (self or from others) and bad memories of the past, what lays ahead is our time and a plan to make the best possible out of it. What do you enjoy doing? Do you have pets? What kind of perfume do you like? What are you good at?...good positives things go on and on and on....and that's the only thing we have time to think of now because that time of ours is ticking on our favor or against us, depending how we harness it.

So, Shysteve, do please come back again and leave a comment/reply. We'd love to hear from you again and know what else we can do to help, we're just a keystroke away.

Lots of Love!!!

[Shysteve in reply to Solocat]

hi good afternoon,thanks for the positive words ,been a bit down last few days so haven't been up to much but seeing your kind words has kicked my butt to get myself back here , again ty for your input best wishes Steve

[Circuitbreaker Community Ambassador in reply to Shysteve]

Absolutely AOK to have a few days feeling down. You don't need permission for that!! I get them too, I've had them.

The strength is getting back up. No butt kicking required, but that said, I do this to me so maybe I need to heed to my own counsel!

I don't particularly like Chumbawumba, but they got that right. I get knocked down, I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down!

Rubbish song, but yes, they got that nailed on.

We all get periods where our mood fluctuates. That's kind of normal. You can't be "up" all the time, it would be exhausting. "down" all the time is similarly a problem, so for most, that fluctuating middle ground is where we live.

When you just want to feel great though, keeping that in realistic proportion is not by any means easy!

Thank you for you kind reply on another thread while I was on hols by the way. YOu are right, I try to control too much in my life ....!

[Solocat Community Ambassador in reply to Shysteve]

Ohh, you're welcome man! Helping others helps us too. Others maybe going through a lot too, sometimes their ordeal is greater than our own, so it's good to hang around, hear good advice here, give good advice and ultimately feel the warmth of a vibrant and loving communality like this is.

So, drop anytime and enjoy.😎

[MaveB]

Hello Shysteve

I would call it the ripe 'young' age of 50! 😄

These feelings circulate constantly until one day they just start spilling out, regardless of our age. I am what is know as an 'internaliser', that is I tend to keep all those worries to myself, not the best plan I'd suggest, with hindsight. None of your feelings are menial though at all.

One huge benefit of the digital world is spaces like this, where like minded people can chat safely. I was sorry to read all you've been through. From what I've seen here over time, all of us will have felt differing shades of how you do. Hope that's a little reassuring to you.

Wishing you all the very best .

[Shysteve in reply to MaveB]

thank you for your positive words,so nice to feel part of something,and not going through this