Hello,I am in my 50s and had worn my teeth due to nail biting.
I had a plan to straighten first with Invisalign and then get bonding or veneers.
I had a bad feeling about the orthodontist from the 2nd appointment...but I stuck with it. He said he was going to do a "very, very slight" shaving in between my lower front teeth to make room. He then drilled them almost 1/3 thinner.
The enamel on the sides is gone and they are so fragile they chip easily. Even biting crusty bread causes chipping.
The braces closed the spaces...otherwise I would consider crowns on these teeth.
I have been suicidal over allowing this. I just froze in the chair when he started drilling and said nothing.
The anger at myself for not telling him to stop-and not trusting my instincts at the outset-is overwhelming. I want to die rather than look in the mirror every day.
I cannot talk about this with anyone because they feel it's "just teeth" and not worth feeling so upset about. Nobody understands how violated I feel on top of the self hatred for choosing this doctor and letting him do this.
And suing is a joke. Unless a person is maimed to the point of permanent nerve pain or something similar, no attorney will even consider this. There's no money in it for them. They don't call back after the 1st phone call.
Has anyone else had a similar experience? How do you get over the obsessive thoughts...the self hatred...wanting to end your life to avoid looking at it?
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LuvMyFurbaby
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I wanted to let you know amidst the overwhelming feelings and self hatred, you have made positive actions for yourself. Firstly in reaching out and bravely sharing your experience on here and secondly on taking acting in the first place to improve your teeth.
Very sorry it has turned out this way and even more sorry the people you trust see your bad experience as a 'just teeth' thing.
I have experienced suicidal thoughts many times in recent years and felt I couldn't talk about this with even my partner, for fear that they would dismiss my debilitating, overwhelming state of being and then....... who could I turn to?
Pleased to say I found a psychotherapist online who was very compassionate and helped me to understand the reasons and behaviours and coping mechanisms connected with my obsessive thoughts and negative self beliefs.
If you would like to talk to someone confidentially about how you are feeling, most therapists offer an initial consultation before you have to commit to a series of paid appointments.
And if you need to talk more urgently about how you're feeling / coping / not coping - you can call the Samaritans for free on 116 123.
The people on the phones listen to many with similar feelings every day. There is no judgement. You can call any time of day.
There's other ways of contacting them too, which are listed on their website here:
You may feel as though you don’t want to talk to someone right now, and that’s ok. If you would like free, confidential, anonymous support, you can text SHOUT to 85258 to speak to a volunteer.
thin teeth can chip and you may need a crown eventually . although more expensive, my dentist used a 3 d tooth and got it all done in one day. pretty amazing he trimmed it down on a computer screen. Forgive yourself and look at another solution. My best for your journey.
Thank you. I really appreciate the support and the no judgment reply. I have a psychiatrist for meds but I agree that its time to gobseebabtalk therapist.
Hello LuvMyFurbaby and welcome to the Changing Faces community. I am sorry to hear how hard things have been for you and that the procedure with your teeth affected the way you feel about yourself in such a profound way. Sounds like this process had a big impact on you. I wanted to thank you for being brave and sharing your situation with everyone here, as another member has mentioned already this is a very positive step. Although it can be hard to open up and talk about these difficult feelings, I am sure it will also help other people who have experienced similar feeling to not feel so alone.
It is understandable that you feel intruded, and upset having had a procedure that didn’t go as you would have expected but it is also important to remember to practice self-acceptance and self-compassion and be gentle and kind with yourself rather than punishing yourself. Your decision was made with the information you had at hand at the moment and with good intentions and you couldn’t have predicted how things would progress. It is so important to take care of your emotional health and wellbeing whilst processing what happened.
I am also aware you mentioned you have been experiencing suicidal thoughts, if these thoughts feel strong or if you think you might act on them, we would recommend speaking to your doctor to let them know how you are feeling so you can explore what support may be available to help you. As well as reaching out to other organisations like the Samaritans as people mentioned already in their comments.
Hopefully you find this a safe space to continue sharing your thoughts and feelings and connect with others who might be able to relate to your experiences.
Hi LuvMyFurbaby, and be very welcome to our forum!
It's so good to hear you're considering getting help from your GP. You might find this is one of the very best decisions ever when having suicidal thoughts.
Please keep that decision going until you see or hear other people's perspectives about your concern. They might address your feeling of being too harsh on yourself.
We can get really tough on ourselves sometimes, even more than other people ever could. Like your dentist might not have intended to cause any harm on your teeth, but somehow he assumed some things when you stayed silent...that's your regret I guess...But you know, We are not perfect decision-making machines, mistakes are part of our all of us... Ohhh, I've made so many mistakes....regretted so many things that I'd do the impossible to turn back time...but that's what it is: impossible (time machines are just in the theoretical stage still...). The only way to look is the future: What we can do from this "past" onwards in order to get at least better than where we are now.
LuvMyFurbaby, We would like to be with you in every stretch of the way of getting this ship to the shore. Remember we are on the same boat with you!
Hello Solocat,Thank you for the thoughtful reply. I appreciate it.
I feel I am too hard on myself and need to let go of this. I suspected this orthodontist was incompetent early, but I didn't go elsewhere for another opinion. I expressed my concerns to him and he said it would be fine so I stayed with him (having paid the full fee up front).
I am so angry that I didn't trust my gut.
I filed a.complaint with the state 2 years ago and just got the letter yesterday. No action will be taken and it's closed. This ortho never even took a single.picture or mold before the assistant put my braces on and they didn't even think that was grounds for a case.
Yesterday was a very bad day.
I wonder how people get over botched plastic surgery when they had a bad feeling about the surgeon but proceeded anyway.
Yes. I now have braces with someone after going to about 10 different doctors for opinions. Hopefully at least my teeth can be straightened.
I found it helpful that someone recommended just getting crowns. I am in the process of accepting this.
I'm so glad to hear things are moving, sometimes that's just what we need: to move things around in order to find options, alternatives, one step at a time. I hope the crowns can work well and it seems that you too feel hopeful about this option. Your past bitter experience could help you now be more in control of any further procedure you may have, like this one.
I sincerely hope things keep working better for you and I'm sure this new step will boost your confidence quite a bit. Please keep us in the loop on this and let us know of anything.
Well, in the meantime I'm going to play some Merengue songs and dance! 😉🍹
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