Been a while since I posted but I do still check in.
Hope everyone is well.
I did message a couple of others to see if they were still alive after covid. Thankfully they were.
Anyhow, for me things were better for a little while but still not what I would have hoped. Eventhough things have got a little better visually, I have not been able to get much confidence back or any sort of normality really.
I suddenly realised last week that I don't get any enjoyment or satisfaction from anything, nothing.
Alone and tired.
Planets dying, blah blah blah. For another thread maybe.
Not sure what is the point in even writing this but I suppose it might make me feel something for 30 seconds.
I feel so down haha.
And if anyone responds with the number of self help organisations I will not be happy.
Not looking for that or sympathy.
Just a place to vent where other will understand I suppose.
Happy 2023 by the way.
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Gorgonite
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Hi Gorgonite,
So good to hear from you. Please to report I am also still standing after Covid!
Sorry to hear your feeling down at the moment, and have been feeling that way for a while.
I think you know the point of you writing this. You just needed to vent. I get plenty of days like that. Sometimes, it is best just to let frustration and negative vibes come out, but under control.
I know when I need to vent, I do so when my wife is not around. That's deliberate. Its so that she is not hurt by me needing to scream in frustration. I do though generally feel better for doing this. It takes a lot of energy to carry around some feelings that hurt you. By letting them go, you hopefully will leave more time for you.
So as far as I can tell; venting those feelings, if you can do so safely and under some control, well, that can be really healthy and cathartic. Its just you have to be careful not to hurt yourself in the process.
I can concur with your view on the planets dying. The truth is, the media at the moment seems to thrive on bad news (good news doesn't sell i guess?!). I find the BBC particularly guilty of this.
I have had to switch the news off most of the time now. I don't see why I would want to put myself though it, or why anyone would. I think all of us have been subject to several years of continuous bad news. No wonder then why we are all feeling weary of it.
Thats what I'm feeling. I am wondering if you have some of the same weariness.
I have used Samaritans in the past. Not going to suggest that you. Partly because you asked us not to, but also, its the kind of the thing that works when you're ready, and if now's not the time, then it's not the right time.
I have had a thought though that I am about to try. I am thinking of taking up Tai Chi. I am hoping that it teaches me to hit the "off" button more often ....
I think we all need that mechanism. Its a skill I am far from being good at ...
Keep in touch. and if you need to scream, you go right ahead ....
Thanks.I appreciate the reply and a good one at that.
Totally agree with everything you said especially about letting things out and of course in a safe way. I cried years ago and felt much better, like an actual physical weight had been lifted.
its so so good to hear that just a simple cry helped previously ...... It sort of shows the body and mind do know what they need to some degree to heal. The body has given us this incredible mechanism, crying, which can clear debris or dirt from your eyeball, and also refresh your emotional well being. If that isn't some kind of wonder, then I don't know what is.
I still (and often) have days where I feel I need to, and get exactly the same outcome, which is "the baggage is now lifted off your shoulders".
For blokes, it is a real problem that we were brought up somewhat with the "boys don't cry" mentality. What utter nonsense. Boys with plenty of sense cry. Anybody with sense would, men or women. If its what you need in that moment, then its what you need. If it works, result!
So I really find it cool to know that its been of help.
The bit I need to work on now, and I don't know if you've ever found this, is others people's reaction "oh! he's upset! There must be something wrong! Must try and help!"....
Its fine, whatever it is, is already being dealt with! If it was every day, sure, then worry. If it's once in a month of Sundays, it's fine, carry on!
I am sorry you feel this way. I must admit I feel similar, down and sad. I have two teens so they get me up and going each day, but otherwise not deriving much pleasure from day to day. I am not happy with what I see in the mirror each day and bitter that I have to deal with this crap. The rosacea and mixed bit of other on my face-acne, melasma and I think seborrhoea just drive me nuts daily.
Hi Gorgonite , thank you for posting here again and for being so honest about how you are feeling and for sharing about what does and doesn't feel helpful at the moment. Also nice of you to check in with others in the forum and how they are managing since the pandemic. It sounds like it’s been a tough time for you with some ups and downs and I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling with finding joy in life at the moment. I know you weren’t looking for something specific with your post, but we hope that you find this a helpful space to vent and share your experiences and feelings with others in this community.
It seems that people in the past have shared information about helplines with you and that you are not seeking professional advice or signposting to other organisations at the moment. If this changes you can always let us know.
My favourite thing actually is the trees blowing in the wind and feeling that breeze on my face, the sounds of that and the leaves rustling.
When I can in that moment I do a little meditation. Its weird, like I'm flying. But these days it's hard to find somewhere to go where there are no people.
When I was little I used to site in a graveyard close to where I live when it was dark, surrounded by trees and out of the way so it was unbelievably peaceful. Used to do that alot.
I went there last year to do the same and was interrupted. This was around midnight too. It seems we can't get away these days.
I'd love to go to Galloway forest in Scotland and find a secluded spot for a few days but I was diagnosed with a spinal issue last year or so, so can't do that.
Also sometimes I'd drive to a carpark on the coast late at night when it rains and listen to the noise the rain makes on the car then you get idiots doing wheel spins. Not all the time but again for the last few months or so I haven't been able to enjoy anything.
I'm sorry your suffering too.
You sound like a really good guy.
Thank you for replying.
I'm glad you also mentioned about looking at the birds and feeling the breeze.
I really like your name, it sounds like Kriptonite, so it could fight really powerful things, haha. Being a fan of comics when I was a child, your name rang in me a bell right away for that other familiar word, just like writing or talking to feel good at least for a handful of seconds is something we are very good at here, because we can listen, care and relate to what we think and feel, like brothers in a big family bound by our shared feelings.
And this is what the community is about: perhaps we can take good care of each other because we understand and listen. You can write here and pour your thoughts and concerns not worrying about judgments while doing so in a caring manner. It's always a good idea to seek help from whoever can offer it and we all can do so when time and opportunity arises. Here we realize that finding or asking for professional help is nothing to be ashamed of, but it is something we must be prepared to receive as one of the best options we can reach.
In the meantime, let's talk, let's vent some steam simply by listening to each other and knowing each other better as a family.
Hey I find this soo relatable . Like I have been feeling like this for over a year now. All I do is sleep I even took a break from University coz apparently everyone just seems to annoy me . And what's the point of staying somewhere where you aren't comfortable people might start thinking you are a weirdo 😢.my sisters think I am depressed. But am I depressed really?? I don't think soo ... Just another Normal boring day in this world 😂 I really don't find anything to be happy about... Did I talk about the part where I can't stand my neighbors? Greetings feel so unnecessary for me ...I be like just shut up! At this point I just feel like everyone is interfering with my personal space.
Everyone needs room to be themselves. Even extreme extraverts have to recharge their batteries from time to time. And most people aren't that ....
This is one thing I find with having a visible difference. That difference seems to give people carte blanche to interfere.
Often people stick their noses in. It comes across as "trying to be caring" (or it can) and goodness help you if you decline it at times because it can be seen as being "ungrateful".
But it truth, many well meaning "people who care" actually trespass across the lines of personal space. If it happens all the time, no wonder people get cross with it.
Thats why a well developed, tried and trusted "hey things are ok, if i need help, I'll say" type line can be so important. It acknowledges others desire to help, overlooks (tactically) their ability to actually help, and sets a bit of a boundary at the same time.
Really happy to hear I've inspired somebody, even if it is only slightly.
Yeah, I do belive when one of our senses are failing, others become heightened. It's very interesting.
Again we have something else we share. Never been anywhere more peaceful than a graveyard at night. Also it was two dog walkers. The dogs alerted them first. I couldn't see their faces clearly but they were frozen lol. Probably thought I was a ghost at first.
Yeah I believe it is the biggest national park in the UK.
The stars are supposed to look magical because of no light pollution.
Unfortunately the spinal issue is progressive so the chances of me going there in the future is becoming less and less.
When I bought my car on gumtree it appeared great but I was taken for a mug lol. It was only the shell that was fine. I've put money into it but it will still only go short journeys and will have to scrap it soon most likely so me going up there is highly doubtful. Unless I win the money to get another car but not likely.
Poetic is good. I thought about drawing too but I'm very, very bad. You any good?
What is the injury? If you don't mind me asking.
Trying to stay positive is always hard but without that and hope things can get a hell of alot worse so try keep the mind strong. But I too do think it's all bs at times but try to shake that negative thought off.
It's funny you mention about bitter and twisted as I've always promised to myself that I won't get like that but if life keeps going the way it is, no matter what I do to try and better it I will probably end up that way. Not twisted but definitely bitter. Not towards people but more about the hand I've been dealt.
That's life though. Some people have it easier than others.
Wish this site was more active and better known as things are lonely lol.
Anyways, I've had an email with a reply that apparently has since been deleted.
Does anyone know what it said and why it has been deleted?
My email notification only shows half of what it said and from the half I can see, it is a genuinely normal response. Nothing that I would see for it to not be allowed?
That's a bit difficult to answer, sadly, as I wouldn't know.
But you should be able to look up who the the community moderators are. If you perhaps send the part you still have to a moderator) which may help them identify the post in question), they may be able to look into it for you.
Agree with you totally on wishing here was better known. I never knew about it until running into it accidentally following a Stop the stare advert, which got featured on BBC breakfast. Especially as since joining here, I'm moving into new places I wasn't at before so it's really helped. We've definitely got it get it more out there, but hey, baby steps. One step after another does there ....... eventually! 🤣
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