As a person with a visible difference……

[Mishamisha77]

Will Changing Faces ever run a campaign that promotes people with a visible difference to help mainstream accept us as normal instead of encouraging us to put up with unwanted reactions or to camouflage?

[RebeccaChangingFaces Partner]

Hi @Mishamisha77 , that’s such an exciting question to me!

I’ll let everyone come in with their own experiences & thoughts, but I’d love to share some of the work that Changing Faces has done over the past few years on this very topic 😊

2018 – portrait series with photographer Rankin called Portrait Positive to show different forms of beauty

changingfaces.org.uk/get-in...

2019 – challenging brands such as Avon to use models with visible difference

changingfaces.org.uk/news/a...

2020 – my absolute favourite, the “I am not your villain” campaign, to encourage the film industry to stop associating visible differences with negative traits in their characters (such as bond villains always having facial scars)

changingfaces.org.uk/get-in...

If you are passionate about us making a change, I know that our Campaigning team would love to hear your feedback: changingfaces.org.uk/get-in...

Thanks for starting a great conversation, Rebecca – Changing Faces

[RunningJ123 in reply to RebeccaChangingFaces]

Τhose links are so good... So interesting and informative.. Thank you

[EvaChangingFaces Partner in reply to RunningJ123]

Glad you found the links interesting and informative RunningJ123 and welcome to our Changing Faces online community! We hope you find this a safe and supportive space to share your thoughts and connect with others!

Take care,

Eva - ChangingFaces

[Circuitbreaker Community Ambassador]

Hi Mishamisha

I was taking a break, but your post caught my attention. So welcome!

I am feeling a bit rough. Ive had blood transfusions and further iron infusions, and I may get another blood kick before surgery on Monday, but hey. Well enough for now!

Remember that Changing faces operates under more than on thread. They are not saying "just accept your disfigurement" or "this is the camouflage available".'

Sure those are two options, but there is always more than one strategy.

No organisation can promote one group over another; under UK law, that is likely to be discrimination. So Changing faces have worked to increase awareness of these kind of issues as Rebecca has set out.

For me, camouflage is no option, so I am having to go the surgery route and it is what it is, For others, camouflage may be highly valuable. It is down to others to determine whether it is for them or not. That said, I still value the the strength in knowing how to deal with idiots. That is not "accepting them", but dealing with them HEAD ON, That has come with practice.

So for me, of the threads, camouflage is a no, dealing with is a must, and surgery is being pursued.

Of those, you must pursue those which will give you you the best outcomes given the position you are in, but only you will know that. It must come from you.

And i have to say, given most of the people i know, nobody can promote you quite like YOU! you know yourself better than anyone.

The really good sides of your personality will only out themselves by you showcasing yourself. And that does take confidence, and I will be honest, you do need more confidence if you have a Vis. Diff than if you don't.

That is where things like Changing faces Avon compaign come in.

I would wager cash that if we went asking, you would have a mass of really cool things about your that would make you stand out. Sometimes, it just a question of working out what they are. And then shining a spotlight on them.

Go be a beacon, You are not only capable, you will. you just need to figure out what to show case!

CB

UPDATE: anaemia better. First iron infusion f---ked right up and left me unable to stand! :

-( ! a second one was more success and feeling better slowly.

[Mishamisha77 in reply to Circuitbreaker]

Coincidence, I had an iron infusion two days ago. Agree with what you say also.

Am thankful that this charity exists. Grew up when it didn’t however and struggle with social phobia due to so many negative encounters when young and before awareness.

[Circuitbreaker Community Ambassador]

hope your infusion was better than my first one. My first one kicked the living daylights out of me….

It is hard to know how to project yourself. I aim to come across ( in person) as expert in my field, approachable and with a good hunour. Goodness knows how often that actually happens! But you know, sell yourself. Never miss and opportunity not to! I take the view that i should never assume anyone else will!

I got called a monster by a german two year old while in Amsterdam the other week. Sigh.

Some things will just be, but i gave the parents a look and a half!!!

wishing you the best, and with that, back to my rest and recoup!!

[Chantev]

Hi Mishamisha

I am so sorry that you feel the world is against you. We are the underdogs of life with our différences, facial or otherwise. CB and the others are right you are the one who needs to build up your confidence to promote yourself. I know easier said than done. It is very difficult to come to terms with the reality. I know what I’m talking about, I was beauty and one morning woke up as beast. No camouflage or make up can alter my apparence. I get very strange looks from young children, my grand daughter was terrified of me and kept howling each time she sees me. I have hit rock bottom a few times, but I picked myself up, dried my tears, put on my make up and my red lipstick on, even if my face is lopsided. I tried everything that could offer me some miracle remedy, acupuncture, healing, Botox, massages but there is still some residue. My face is still awry, my smile still crooked, my eye still blinking, a young child asked me why am I blinking so much, I took the opportunity to explain to him that I had been ill and that was the result of my illness.

I must admit that my facial distortion has built my confidence as I did not want to be a victim but a survivor. I don ‘t give a damn how people view me and frankly don’t care. I have come to terms with this is what I’m going to look like now, so instead of feeling sorry for myself, I have embraced my difference, with the philosophy that there is someone who is worse off than me. The mask during Covid was a real bonus, I tried several cool fun ones. I still wear them now. My strategy for coping is to detract the attention from my face. I wear very colourful clothes, eye catching shoes and a hair style that deflect and hide some of my face. I have had a lot of support from my husband, very supportive friends, and charities like Changing Faces, Kate Piper and people who have suffered disfiguration through acid being thrown in their faces. Their advice, support and combative spirits inspired me to build up my confidence. I take it one day at a time.

Try and be kind to yourself, it will take time to accept or pretend to accept, I still mourn my previous look. Have a bit of faith in yourself, join a class yoga, is a good one, or any other activity that will ease you into society and take you away from your self isolation. I volunteered in an organisation with vulnerable people and this helped me feeling valued for my actions instead of my looks. Build your self confidence with some self help books from the library. Unfortunately this world is dictated by the shallowness of perfect looks and perfect figures and people like us will always be the odd ones out.

I hope I have given you fodder for thought. You have to take the rudder of your life and forge your way ahead. Be brave girl, face life ahead with confidence there is always a first time for everything and your time is now.

I wish you all the best and Bon courage

CV

[Mishamisha77 in reply to Chantev]

Thanks Chantev,

That truly was/is an inspirational message.

Thankyou for taking the time to write that x