Online dating with a facial difference?

[Abigail_B]

What are your guy’s thoughts on disfigurement and online dating. I feel like it has potential to really good but it’s also scary when you consider how vicious people can be and how taboo dating with a facial difference can be.

[DolaChangingFacesUK]

Hi Abigail_B, Welcome to the Changing Faces community! Dating has been a hot potato topic here in the past and I'm quite surprised that you haven't had any replies to your post yet. Here's hoping people will come out and contribute to this subject soon and perhaps generate a lovely discussion for you. In the meantime, you can have a read of a previous thread here if you like..... healthunlocked.com/changing...

Kind regards,

Dola

[Confidenceiskey]

I actually made a profile once but I then became chicken and didn’t use it. I think you could find one for people with a disability but I don’t know if that covers having a visible difference. I’ve only recently started putting photos of me online so I have a way to go. I hope this helps.

[Priestly6]

Well I think it has the potential to be good but my experience is either it is a generic dating site which means its like real life accept people are even harsher because it's all even more based looks. Or its a specialised website which is much better while online but good luck finding someone within your age/ interest range within a 500 mile radius!

[Tortoise96]

Hi there,

I’ve never used dating sites being completely honest! However I did meet my previous two ex’s online, I feel as though in my online pictures it’s hard to see my visible difference as I try to hide it as best I can sadly. So when meeting me I think they got a little shock. I’m not sure, never asked what they thought. Neither brought it up. But I had long relationships with both of those! I don’t think you should limit your dating to others with a visible difference, although this may be helpful to you, it depends. The right person may have a visible difference, but they also may not. My boyfriend does not, and I am so happy. I met him face to face and I have realised I prefer that kind of meeting as they already know what I look like and don’t get a shock when meeting.

Anyway, dating is good for everyone! Have fun and be safe!

[Priestly6]

You say all that but having a scar isnt really what I would consider a facial difference and isnt relatable to what people with significant differences have. If you had something like a severe skin condition the reaction you would get is completey different - my experience is hardly anyone is actually bothered about a single scar on your cheek when it comes to dating

[Ardrich87]

Hi Abigail,

I’ve been signed up to a few dating apps for the last couple of years. And though I’ve had no dates yet, and have been ghosted several times while in the process of arranging one, I’m going to persevere.

Ideally, it’d be nice to meet my future partner away from these apps, but that’s easier said than done. Especially given how (and I’m sure you’re familiar with this) some people find it awkward to have a conversation with me if they haven’t seen or met me before. I usually have to work that little bit extra to make them feel at ease.

The nature of online dating does mean people make snap judgments, but they’re no more judgmental than people offline.

The right person won’t care about your facial difference. As the saying goes, those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.

[Hidden]

To be honest I've had some awful, really really bad experiences with a few guys I met online so I wouldn't recommend it personnally. Sorry.

[Tamousha84]

I know this thread is abit old but I thought I would share my experience anyway. I was on a dating app quite recently and I used a photo that made my visible difference less noticable. I do not know if I should consider this false advertising but I got replies. I did this on purpose. The guys I found interesting I would chat with and talk on the phone with as long as possible. This way they can see your personality first. And if it is a good person who is not superficial I believe when you meet the visible difference will matter alot less. If at all. Before I met the guy I am dating now (in person) I told him clearly and rather bluntly about my difference and its background when we got better aquainted. That way you can avoid the risk of a "shock" when meeting. But I believe for your own sake it is important to be clear that if they cannot accept you as you are they are not worth your time. Same goes if you start dating and they keep bringing up your difference or make you feel ashamed of it. Just leave. You are worth so much better! But.. To return to the question, I believe online dating can be a useful tool to work around your difference and get a chance to charm a person with what really matters in The long run: your personality.

[user533]

To my part, i feel like my facial difference sucks. I dont even do what i wanna do because i feel like i wont be popular, or it wont work just because of my face.

So far i havent showed my 'new face' on a dating website.

honestly, i been hurted online by someone who made me fell in love with them, only to reject me because of my facial appearaance, as if that person dont want to talk to me because of the way i look.

[donpape]

i dont know i didnt think it would be a good idea, but i know i am a good person. smart, adventurious, Also i have many friends, so i am going to try, i realise there will be many rejections because of how i look, but they are probably not the type of people i need in my life'anyway. We cant give up because of how we look