As today is Valentines Day, I thought I’d post this insightful article around dating. It features three people who each have a visible difference talking about how they’ve found dating.
Let us know how you've found dating.
Can you relate to these stories from Hannah, Katy and Michael?
Featured Content
Jump to repliesI'm happy for them but I have zero expectations of dating again. My facial paralysis (medical, not Bells Palsy as people often think) set in during my separation, and when I got divorced I figured that was that. So far I've been right. I used to get hit on several times a week if not more, but only once in the last five years and I think he was drunk. When people who didn't know me in the past see old pictures they say, "you were so pretty!" Always in the past tense. I still brush my teeth in the dark because I don't want to look at myself, so I don't expect anyone else to want to look at me. It used to make me sad but now it's just very matter of fact.
Hi MiaBrown, welcome to the Changing Faces community and thanks for posting. People do make awfully insensitive comments sometimes. It sounds hard that you don't want to look at yourself and don't expect others to want to. How did you get over feeling sad about your condition?
Kind regards,
Dola@ChangingFacesUK
Thanks! I've actually been around for about two years but I normally just read posts without responding. 😊 I was determined not to become a recluse. I lived in a high-rise with a trash chute at the end of the hall and mailboxes in the lobby. As long as I had food I could stay inside for a few days because I worked from home. I read a lot about the stages of grief, because I was grieving my lost appearance. I fought and prayed to get to the acceptance stage, and that's how I got over being sad. When the movie Wonder came out, I considered it required viewing for my family and friends, just to get a glimpse of what it's like. For the most part I'm back to my fun-loving carefree self, until I see a picture of myself having fun but that's another story lol.
...that being said, most men seem to be so shallow and physical, I can't imagine one wanting to look at me all day, much less wake up next to me. I have many male friends and one said that who I am on the inside shines through. Hopefully someone will be willing to look past the package for that light.
Mia, I guess you will find a person that will love you not paying attention to your appearance.
I know this is a really old post. Coming across it and replying to it is cathartic. It seems I am in almost exactly the same boat as Mia, except that I am a male. Whist I can’t deny that men may be "more' shallow it is true enough of women. Females may indeed pursue a deeper connection BUT they first have to get passed a certain threshold. Like Mia, my disfiguring “accident” coincided with a separation/divorce. Prior to being married and my “accident” I was never lacking for female attention. Outside of being in a relationship there was rarely a week that passed without some sort of flirtatious episode occurring. The complete absence of ANY recognition by the opposite sex (in my case that is) in 7 years is blindingly obvious. It is often sited that my other accident related issues are of greater concern to my quality of life. However, not one of such comments comes from a person with first hand knowledge of what it is like to not be able to smile, be too embarrassed to laugh or eat in public, be pointed at in public.
I imagine I'll die alone. I sometimes think to myself, who will sort my funeral when I die. My body will probably only be discovered because the postman/woman will start to smell my rotting corpse through the letterbox when they are posting my letters. Anyways my confidence is so low now I can barely speak on the phone without my voice shaking and struggle to get my words out so dating is out of the question. Its pathetic really. There's no real support either.
I have plagiocephaly.....
Growing up with a facial disfigurement 
People that will inspire you
A meditation called 'You are beautifully made'
